The truth is that I have a problem with English and I study it so many times that I’m already unmotivated. This summer this is happening to me, I am unmotivated and frustrated. I do not know what to do. Maybe Speaking and grammar would be the worst. When I say that I am not making progress, I am never able to reach level b2. Maybe I have 4 years with a course or something to get it out and I can’t get it. I have done some FCE preparation course but not in that way. So I told you that I had many resources but I still can’t. As a goal of this summer I wanted to study during this summer for September to do the EOI level test and enter fifth grade. Even so, last year I already tried and they gave me a room (for reasons of time I couldn’t).
So this situation is like a loop, I can’t think of English, I can study grammar but not know how to apply it. I don’t know, I’m a little desperate with my English, and I like English, but I already have this feeling of frustration and very unmotivated. Besides, I signed up for italking, verbling, lang-8 and some other applications. I have not got help, nobody, and the only ones who have contacted were teachers (in exchange for money, which I already understand, it is their task and it is a service they offer). What I can do? I have read your posts, and they help but I still don’t get motivated. I know that the only way out to improve in English is me, and that everything depends on me, as an athlete preparing for a race, but I have no strength.
I watch movies and even now I am a volunteer to help some Erasmus students of the University, to practice English, how poor, tasks you will have to understand my emails …..
I made schedules with small goals and they lasted a week or two. I reiterate that it all depends on me, but well I needed to share it with someone and know their opinion. By the way, I am 21 years old, and this course I have finished my primary education degree. Mario (fictitious name) ******* Answer: When I received this email, I asked for his phone number to speak with more details on the subject. After our conversation I will summarize here the ideas that I have to help Mario and you reader (if you are in a similar situation) to overcome frustration.
1. Do not accumulate problems or frustrations
One thing is the slowness and difficulties of learning English, and another very different thing is the circumstances that surround you.
Part of Mario’s despair stemmed from the fact that he had been unable to continue his studies at EOI because they offered him a schedule that did not fit his own.
This has nothing to do with the problem of learning English; rather, they are the obstacles that we encounter in daily life: a job that leaves us no time to study; Some plans or expectations that we had that go to garate because you have something more urgent or priority to do.
If, as Mario was doing, you link these circumstantial problems to English problems, then you have a very big problem, which you do not know where to take.
To avoid ending up in the loop that Mario describes, or what is the same, feeling that you have a VERY fat problem; DIVIDE AND OVERCOME. This means that you see each of the problems in their proper measure; telling you “one thing is English, and another is the problems that arise in my life and that can affect your learning of English.”
The problem of not having entered the EOI, although it affects your most immediate learning, can be solved in another way, for example, studying on your own.
Mario says he has tried to study on his own and that it has been of no use to him.
After talking to him, I think it’s more of an outlook problem: he sees his situation much worse than it really is because he hasn’t managed to get into EOI, and he feels like he’s lost a year. In fact, he told me that he had been preparing the First in an academy and when he did mock exams he would get 4 or 5 (that is, almost approved or approved). It seems to me that with these results “saying that it has not been worth anything” is not very close to reality.
Remember: value everything in its proper measure. Divide and you will win.
2. Write down 3 things you are grateful for in a notebook every day.
This idea was given to me by Oprah Winfrey , the famous American presenter.
The truth is that at least for me, it is giving me very good results. To counteract the accumulation of problems that I have talked about in the previous point, nothing better than pointing out the good that happens to you every day and what you do not even repair.
Aiming those good things and being thankful makes you focus more on the positive side of life.
It can be an afternoon with friends, a sunset, a good meal; so many wonderful little things that happen to us and it seems, many times, that they are worth nothing compared to our infinite problems. It is not true, they are worth a lot! All you need to do is look at them and be grateful for the fact that you have lived them.
3. If you don’t have money for a real coach, find yourself a false coach
As I always say in this blog, the best way to advance in English is to have your own good English teacher, but many times that excellent coach is not within our pocket’s reach.
What to do? Find yourself a “false” coach that motivates you to continue.
I have been going to the gym for almost a year almost every day. I am sure that if I had had a personal trainer the objectives that I have set for myself would have been fulfilled a long time ago. But I have not had it, and despite this I have come a long way; And more importantly, I find myself very motivated and happy to go exercise daily.
| Here i am in the gym |
What have I done?
I noticed a hunk that is practically every day in the gym, hit it.
The mere fact of seeing him, who is so constant and tries harder than anyone, encourages me. In fact, if it’s not there, I usually do fewer exercises. Curious huh? It is that what surrounds us has a lot of strength; just as it can sink us, it can lift us up.
If you are an English student you can do the same; find another more motivated student or teacher “false” that motivates and encourages you.
There are many groups on social networks, blogs, personal stories where to find this person. And if it is not on the internet, it may be at an academy, or a family member or friend who has tried hard. Find it, follow it and keep it. It will give you wings.
4. Don’t make decisions “
There is a devastating argument for not falling into frustration and despair with English and it is as simple as thinking: who wins with my frustration, despair or desire to send English to the horn?
Nobody.
Getting frustrated and hopeless is definitely a “lose / lose” decision; you lose and those around you lose. So it is not worth it.
Recently a person sent me a short email telling me that my posts were very good, but that he couldn’t take it anymore, that he was leaving English. And the truth, although it may seem cruel, I was amused. It looked like one of those letters from the movies, in which the suicide says “Goodbye, cruel world.”
English is important, but not enough to think that if you don’t learn, the world will end for you.
You leave it, and that’s it. Nothing happens. If one day you feel like it again, you take it again.
Remember: relativize.
5. Be realistic
Being realistic with English means that you must know that making the decision to learn English comes at a price and you will have to pay it without any other remedy. There are no shortcuts, no bargains; you have to sweat the fat drop.
Being realistic also means knowing that everything has a price in this life; even doing nothing.
The good thing about being realistic is that life “doesn’t catch you off guard”; that is, if bad times come, you are already prepared because you know that they are part of the “price” that is being asked of you.
If you go, instead, dreaming that “you will get such and such a result (not very realistic)”; the day the moment of truth arrives, you will feel completely frustrated and cheated for not having achieved what you thought you would easily achieve.
Therefore, remember; eye! at the price you have to pay to know English. Find out before you start dreaming. And I don’t mean just paying money, but also the effort and time that you should dedicate.
6. Unburden yourself
I think Mario has done well to write to tell me that he was frustrated. There are times when you have to kick it; send everything to m ….. It is good, it is healthy.
I think talking to another person about your frustrations frees you up and makes you feel better. True?
7. Surround yourself with positive people
This advice links with the previous one and with that of the false coach and the notebook destined to give thanks. It is important to surround yourself with people who encourage you and help you get ahead. Only one of these people, at critical moments, can be your salvation. So look for them and try to keep them by your side; they will be like the current that recharges the battery.
On the contrary, stay away from those who discourage you, hurt you, or frustrate you. And if it is not possible to get far away; try to neutralize them by not thinking much about what they say or do.
I hope these tips serve Mario and you reader if you are in a similar situation.
