Perhaps there are some lucky ones among you who have been left in this nice and painless way. We laugh on it, pat on the back and then off to look for a new soul mate with whom to start the process of falling in love – passion – routine – decay – abandonment.
For all the others of you who have been badly left behind, know that there are a number of wonderful benefits that you now enjoy.
So no more tears, the best time of your life has begun.
Here is the list of benefits of getting left behind
# 1 Victim and executioner.
Even if you’ve been acting like a bitch for the duration of the relationship, the moment you are left behind you automatically become the victim.
# 2 The self-esteem test .
It would be good to be left at least once a year to check that self-esteem is working well, that it is able to cushion the blow. A kind of eye exam of the spirit.
# 3 Getting it wrong you learn.
You have learned to call your mistakes by name. And it was also now considered that you meet often.
# 4 Ikea catalog.
Change is a good thing. For you now, it is as if the sales at Ikea are starting with lots of four-door cabinets to assemble.
# 5 Emotional pain.
People who have never suffered in their life are on average bitches and absolutely boring. Pass to the next level.
# 6 Empathy.
Who is happy is on the cock at all. Those who suffer instead find an army of friends ready to get drunk with him.
# 7 Theatricality.
You can do all those things you’ve seen them do in TV shows: sit at the bottom of the shower crying, eat tons of ice cream, get picked up at the club, and have promiscuous sex with the first one who comes by. Do you remember, don’t you? All those TV series you watched with your boyfriend … oops.
# 8 Spring cleaning.
At least half of the gifts your ex gave you (you can call it that since yesterday) are useless junk. You can finally get rid of it with a big allegorical fire.
# 9 New technologies.
While you were engaged, technology has made great strides in wild mating. Install Tinder on your smartphone and stay up to date on the mouflons that graze near your genitals.
# 10 Research and experimentation.
To be treated like this by someone who said he loved and protected you, before leaving you here. No regrets, no remorse, from today, all those things you wanted to do but that you had put away because involved in a romantic love story you can really do them. Moms, shut up your toy boys at home!
# 11 Freedom.
Finally you can do those things that you couldn’t do with him or her: stoned on the playstation, read Jonathan Franzen before bed, fart at the table and much more.
# 12 Still can’t be fooled around.
The best way to combat pain is to mock it. You can make lots of jokes about your ex and have fun with the sacred weapon of self-irony. You will become the idol of your friends who will believe you strong and superior to the immediate abandonment. Having said that, when they are the ones joking with us, you show offense and hurt. Disoriented, they will ask you if you can’t joke about it yet and offer you a drink to apologize.
# 13 Art Attack.
90% of the world songwriter talks about love gone cow. You are finally in the right mood to fully understand their poetry.
# 14 Logical conclusion.
If he had been the right one he wouldn’t have left you. So better this way, imagine the catch of spending your life with the wrong one.
