Communication in a relationship is undoubtedly one of the fundamental things, if not the first. Having an excellent dialogue, being able to talk about ourselves and the relationship without filters, represents a freedom that certainly makes the couple more close-knit and united. For this reason, questions about sex represent, in the same way, something that enriches and strengthens the relationship from a sexual point of view, but not only. Knowing what your partner likes or dislikes, what is good and what should be improved, takes the relationship to a higher level. Of course, it probably won’t be entirely simple, but we suggest you try because you will then benefit from it under the sheets and in general in your relationship. Here are 20 questions to ask your partner about sex, whether you are married or just starting a love story.
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Index:
- Questions to ask about sex to get to know your partner better
- Uncomfortable questions about sex
- Questions to Ask About Sex to Improve Intimacy
- Sex Questions for Married Couples
Questions to ask about sex to get to know your partner better
Sharing your deepest sexual desires can sometimes be difficult. This is because we are used to social contexts in which talking about certain topics is still a taboo, with the consequence that we also feel a bit ashamed, even if we discuss them with our partner. Furthermore, our sex life is something that evolves , because by trying new things and getting to know our body more and more, we are led to change in that sense too. For all these reasons, talking and asking questions about sex to your partner is a way to break down that “shame” inherent in certain topics and therefore to make ourselves known, so as to have more fulfilling and intimate relationships. How about starting with these questions?
- Read also: 9 curiosities about sex that (maybe) you didn’t know
- 1. How and what did you learn about sex growing up?
- 2. Where do you like and dislike being touched?
- 3. Do you use sex toys when you are alone?
- 4. Is there a time you prefer to have sex?
- 5. What have you learned from exploring your body that could make our sex lives more fun?
- 6. In what context do you feel sexiest?
- 7. Have you had any sexual experiences that had a negative impact and that you would like to share with me?
Uncomfortable questions about sex
Then there are the even more uncomfortable questions about sex, which we may be ashamed to answer whether we are talking about experienced and married couples or stories that have just blossomed. This is because talking about the most hidden fantasies, fetishes or less common fetishes, can make us more vulnerable. It will therefore be important to do some work of opening up that allows us to be at ease even in these moments, if everything is aimed at having improvements in the sexual sphere and at the same time in the life of the couple. Remembering that sexual intimacy is as much about respecting boundaries as it is about good foreplay and hot sex.
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- 8. What would you like to experience sexually if you had no mental limitations or guilt?
- 9. Is there something you’ve never done that you’d like to try?
- 10. It could be really exciting if we tried [insert sexual interest]. Would you like that?
- 11. What sexual fantasy would you like to fulfill with me?
- 12. Do you want to come with me to a sex toy shop?
Questions to Ask About Sex to Improve Intimacy
Emotional connection is essential to achieving truly fulfilling intimacy . We know how deeply connected the spirit, mind, and body are, giving us impulses and stimuli that reflect and feed off each other. Some people feel more connected during a sexual experience, while others feel more connected during a deep conversation or a shared experience. These sex questions are very important to improving intimacy, they will help you understand how each of you prefers to relate to the other, to ensure that both of your needs are met.
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- 13. What is one thing you love that I do when we are intimate and why?
- 14. When do you feel most attracted to me?
- 15. When do you feel closest to me?
- 16. Is there anything you would add to our relationship?
Sex Questions for Married Couples
Of course, all the questions we’ve listed so far are also suitable for married couples, but there are some in particular – the ones below – that we think are very useful especially for them, or at least for long-term couples. For example, talking about what we liked most about a sexual relationship can potentially help us replicate or even improve again and again. Making changes to your approach, based on your partner’s feedback, can make sex more enjoyable , leading it to evolve and grow together with you.
- You may be interested in: How does sex change after marriage?
- 17. When did you find sex between us most enjoyable?
- 18. What would be a good way to start a sexual relationship?
- 19. Would you like it if sex was more spontaneous and less planned?
- 20. When do you feel most connected to me?
What do you think of the 20 questions to ask about sex that we proposed? If you have not yet tried to talk about intimacy with your partner, we suggest you give it a try. You could make the atmosphere easier by turning it into a hot game. Not only will it be fun, but you will come out more close and cohesive, freeing yourselves from pressure and focusing on fantasies.
If you liked this article, read also:
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- How sex changes with age
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Advice for life as a couple
Are you worried about your dreams about sex? We reveal their meaning!
Find out once and for all the meaning of those dreams that made you think more than you should when you woke up.
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Beatrice Anselmi
Updated May 5, 2025
Before continuing to read, it is important to keep in mind that “dreams are dreams” and that their complex nature is not always entirely clear. In fact, in the field of love and sex, dreams do not have a clear basis and sometimes arise arbitrarily. Do you want to know what these dreams could mean? Here we leave you a small guide, always with the awareness that each person has their own inner world.
Index:
Dreams about sex
- Sex with co-workers
- Sex with your boss
- Sex with your ex
- Betrayals
- Oral sex
- Trio
- Sadomasochistic sex
- Sex with a stranger
Dreams about love
- Being in love
- Unrequited love
- Love towards third parties
- Love for a friend
Dreams about sex
For this chapter, we rely on the words of Lauri Quinn Loewenberg, an expert in dream interpretation, reflected in Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams, Change Your Life. Take notes!
Sex with co-workers
Don’t worry, it doesn’t mean you like that person. If you have a partner, you can sleep soundly. These dreams usually occur because you have admired the psychological qualities of a person and are trying to incorporate them into your personality. This person may be physically unattractive, but the intellectual value they possess makes you want to experience a night of dream passion. Enjoy! The physical is not important.
Sex with your boss
The erotics of power are important, the position itself causes a certain attraction. All people like the idea of ascending in the workplace and the boss flaunts the highest level. For this reason, a crazy night with our superiors without previous obscene thoughts only indicates that you want a position of greater responsibility or help from your boss.
Sex with your ex
Very typical. If the breakup is obvious, this dream implies an emotional bond with this person, who still occupies our thoughts and we have not been able to forget. However, if we dream of a distant love, the first or an ex from a long time ago, it means that you need sexual relationships similar to those of the past, more transgressive, based on trying new things and, above all, that make you feel young. These dreams can appear for couple routines or in moments of sexual abstinence.
Betrayals
There is something wrong in the relationship and it needs to be resolved. It has nothing to do with sex itself, but the subconscious represents it this way to make us put our life in order. However, when the relationship is going well, sex with another person represents a novelty in the life of the couple that deserves special attention, a new element that has made us neglect the other person in a certain sense.
Oral sex
The mouth is the protagonist of this dream, but not for the function that the title suggests. In fact, dreaming of having oral sex indicates that you need to maintain an intimate conversation, but it also depends a lot on whether the person who dreams is the giver or the receiver.
Trio
We don’t want to share our bed with two people, or at least not all the time. If you have a partner, these scenes include him or her with a woman or a man. When these dreams appear, the arrival of something new in the couple that requires the attention of both, such as a newborn baby, a new home, or a joint activity, can be a logical option.
Sadomasochistic sex
It is the most typical among women. Although one might think that these dreams indicate a need to feel dominated and practice a sex that is a little more agitated, it is true that the dreamers, in reality, could feel trapped in their relationships. In this case, a more or less funny dream can mean something negative. Be careful!
Sex with a stranger
It is a typical dream of straight women. This stranger is not anyone in particular, but rather the personification of the characteristics of the man that, perhaps imposed by society, have been attributed to him, such as greater security at work or the strength that is associated with sex. There are always exceptions, of course.
Dreams about love
Being in love
It is not always literal. Simply, when we discover that love in dreams, it means that we like something in a particular way and we are happy about it, whether it is an object or a person. As we already know, dreams magnify many situations or feelings and these are then only a sign of pleasure, without having to speak of love properly speaking. Evidently, in many occasions we arrive at falling in love.
Dreaming of not loving someone anymore
Complex if we are in a relationship. Faced with a dream of these characteristics, waking up is tortuous and can make you think that we are on the wrong path. Relax! All relationships have ups and downs and this dream can simply mean that it is not a good time, but not that you no longer love your partner. Be patient and discover the problems that prevent you from being completely happy, but discover it with the other person.
Unrequited love
This dream does not have to be within the couple, as is normal, but when it happens it means that the dreamer’s subconscious thinks or knows that the other person no longer loves him. It must not only indicate love, but also happiness or being well with a person. It is in these moments when a relationship is questioned, even if sometimes they are a sign of insecurity on the part of the dreamer, sometimes tormented by the cruel art of Morpheus.
Love towards third parties
Another typical dream of insecure people is the one in which we imagine that our partner has fallen in love with someone else. The fear of betrayal is key in these circumstances, and it materializes in the dream with a third person receiving the love that we should receive. If you trust your partner and nurture your self-esteem, this type of dreams will soon disappear.
Love for a friend
There is a double path subject to two interpretations. First, the subconscious is wise and perhaps it is warning you of a feeling that will gradually explode. This best friend is perhaps something more to you. However, a second interpretation is that you are happy with this person and that he or she has become special to you. Without beating around the bush.
Now that you have learned to interpret dreams better, perhaps a weight has been lifted from your shoulders and you can live your life as a couple more peacefully, always attentive to the different factors of the day to day. Don’t waste the magic of every moment!
