Menopause is not a topic that is usually discussed openly. The physical and emotional changes that accompany it are perceived as “shameful,” so many women are left alone with this process. Support from loved ones during this period can play a decisive role. We tell you how to help mom cope with the changes and dispel the “shame” surrounding menopause.
What is menopause
Menopause is the end of a woman’s reproductive age. The average age of menopause in Russia is 49–51 years. Menopause is preceded by the onset of menopause, a transitional period associated with a decrease in the amount of sex hormones and then the cessation of menstruation. If menstruation is absent for a year, then gynecologists speak of the onset of menopause.
Menopause can be accompanied by hot flashes – a sudden feeling of warmth in the face, neck, chest. Hot flashes last for several minutes. They are accompanied by reddening of the skin, sweating and increased heart rate. the British Menopause Society, hot flashes are the most common symptom, affecting 79% of women going through menopause.
Other symptoms include vaginal dryness, urinary problems, headaches, and joint and muscle discomfort. There are also psychological manifestations: irritability, frequent mood swings, and sleep problems.
Why it’s important to talk about menopause
Access to knowledge about women’s health
For many girls, their first period was a shock, they woke up in a pool of blood and thought they were dying. Menopause is the same: many experience symptoms but do not understand what is happening to them. In addition, there are many myths surrounding menopause . For example, some believe that it is simply a sudden cessation of menstruation, or advise taking herbal remedies – all of this is wrong. Openly talking about menopause will allow women to know more about their bodies and methods for alleviating a difficult condition.
Breaking stereotypes
Menopause is perceived as a transitional period not only in biological terms, but also in a social sense. In society, a woman’s value is often linked to her youth, appearance, and reproductive functions. Aging and the corresponding changes in the body can be frightening , and the loss of fertility can make women perceive themselves as “less valuable .” But menopause is the end of reproductive life, not life in general, and aging is a natural process that is important to talk about openly.
How to support mom emotionally
Be there and let her talk.
During menopause, women often lose confidence in themselves and feel like no one understands what they’re going through. A 2019 study found that loneliness can make menopause symptoms
Create a safe space to talk about your mom’s feelings. Ask her questions and be there for her. Listen patiently and maintain eye contact. Avoid devaluing phrases: “It’s just age,” “Don’t sweat the small stuff,” “Everyone goes through this and it’s okay.” Instead, say:
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“I understand that this is hard for you. I will be there for you.”
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“You are not alone.”
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“You are strong and I believe you can handle it.”
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“You can talk to me about anything, I will always listen.”
Show her value
Menopause can feel like a loss of control over your body and life. Remind your mom that her worth is not determined by her age or the state of her body. Try to articulate what she means to you and what you are grateful for. Say:
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“I’m proud that you are my mother.”
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“You inspire me with your strength and wisdom.”
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“You are an example for me.”
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“I am grateful for everything you do for me.”
How to support your mother with action
Suggest spending time together
Time together helps to cope with anxiety and uncertainty, distracts from bad thoughts. Suggest that your mother watch a movie together, go to a creative workshop or take a walk in the park.
You can also turn to activities that can help with menopause symptoms. A Harvard Medical School study that rhythmic breathing exercises can reduce the frequency of hot flashes. One way to learn breathing techniques is to take up yoga. Meditation is also a good option .
Help with household chores
Hormonal changes can cause fatigue. Helping with cleaning, cooking, and other household chores can help mom relax and take time for herself. Tell her:
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“You look tired, let me help you with your chores.”
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“You deserve some time for yourself, let me take on some of the housework.”
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“You do so much for others, let me take care of you too.”
Tell us about the symptom tracking app
Applications help to notice patterns in symptoms. For example, with the help of an application, you can notice that hot flashes occur more often in the evening, which means you can adjust your daily routine. This gives you a sense of control over your body. These applications will also simplify communication with your doctor. You can analyze the full picture of symptoms and show him.
Suggest going to the doctor together
Menopause is not a reason to refuse visits to the gynecologist. The doctor can prescribe effective drugs to relieve symptoms. Many women going through menopause are afraid of hormonal treatment and start taking herbal preparations. However, their benefits are a myth, they have no proven effectiveness. Moreover, self-medication can lead to a worsening of the condition. Only a doctor can select safe and effective drugs, taking into account individual characteristics. If your mother feels anxious before going to the doctor, offer to go with her. Your presence will show that she is not alone and will help her feel confident.
Share materials about menopause
Discussing menopause with loved ones can help relieve loneliness. Sharing experiences is valuable – it helps a woman feel that she is not alone. Share your feelings and thoughts with your mother and invite her to discuss menopause with her friends. Ask your loved ones about their experiences and opinions. Be open and attentive to their feelings.
Open conversation also breaks down social taboos and shows that menopause is not something to be ashamed of. It is a natural stage in a woman’s life. Articles, books and films can be a starting point for discussion. Become a guide to the world of women’s health information not only for your mother, but also for your friends and acquaintances. Share (online and in person) statistics, expert recommendations or stories of celebrities – for example, Drew Barrymore and Gayle King , Oprah Winfrey or Helena Bonham Carter .
