In the last article I told you about how Compatibility hugely affects the chances of a couple being able to last long term or not.
Today I want to start from those foundations to go and analyze in more detail the way in which the context of life of two people affects this compatibility leading both to a strengthening of ties and, much more often, to a weakening of the couple itself. that slowly comes to separation.
Ready?
3… 2… 1… go! ?
WHAT IS A CONTEXT?
First of all it is important to understand what a ” life context ” really is .
The context of a person’s life is, in reality, a set of other smaller contexts put together.
Wanting to give a practical example, the life of many people is divided between these contexts: family context (therefore home and family), school / work context, context of “hobbies” (for example the gym, sport, etc. etc.), friendships, etc. etc…
In reality, even these ” mini-contexts ” could be divided into even smaller contexts as every single circumstance in which any experience occurs can be defined as a context.
So if within the context of life there is a context in which you are with your friends … within that mini context there will be many other small contexts such as, for example, a private conversation with one of them, a walk, etcetera etcetera.
Once this is understood, it becomes appropriate to understand how the contexts we face during our life affect the personality and, subsequently, the couple’s compatibility.
HOW IS THE PERSONALITY OF A PERSON FORMED?
The personality of an individual is formed by the experiences received.
Such experiences can be of three types:
lived experiences : which are the most important, the ones you live directly on your skin.
experiences listened to : those that others tell you.
experiences seen : or experiences that you personally see someone else having.
Every experience that is part of our life sends a specific message to our brain and, as soon as this is ” repeated ” several times then our brain forms a belief, often unconscious, concerning the best way to behave in a given circumstance and this together of behaviors and beliefs then goes to form what we call personality.
We can therefore affirm, without a shadow of a doubt, that a person’s personality is defined by the contexts that have made and are part of his life.
HOW CHANGE IS CAUSED
If you have managed to understand that the experiences that then form the personality depend on contexts, there should have been a “click” in your head that made you understand how changing the context of a person’s life almost always leads to a change of personality and this is a concept that is thoroughly analyzed within behaviorism, a branch of sociology.
During the course of a person’s life, one never stops changing and evolving precisely because it is impossible to live without accumulating new experiences.
HOW THE CONTEXT AFFECTS THE COMPATIBILITY OF THE COUPLE
It is possible that two people who find themselves compatible at a certain point in their life, compatibility due to experiences that have created points both in common and complementary to each other, as a result of different experiences see this compatibility decrease more and more until the rupture, exactly how it is possible that two totally incompatible people at a certain point in their life suddenly find themselves compatible after years in which different experiences have changed their personality in such a way as to bring them closer.
The reason why compatibility increases or decreases a couple’s chances of long-term success therefore depends on whether high compatibility means many points ” in common ” or many points in common means desire to carry out similar activities.
Performing similar activities causes similar changes and therefore the level of compatibility remains roughly the same or may even increase.
This is why couples should have common activities that strengthen their relationships.
On the contrary, if a person decides to carry out and value activities other than those of the partner, the possibility increases that the experiences lived are conflicting with each other.
If the experiences lived are conflicting, the change will also be exponentially different and, with this change, mental (as well as physical) distance is created between the two partners.
A very interesting example of this mechanism, wanting to mention something “popular” capable of entertaining, can be found in Pieraccioni’s film: “a beautiful wife”.
CONCLUSIONS
I hope that after these explanations it has become evident not only why many couples split up almost inexplicably … but also why people you didn’t have the slightest affinity with at one point in your life may suddenly seem more “palatable” as well. ‘is that it can decrease the chances of a breakup or what you can do to improve the chances of the couple strengthening.
