Nothing illegal or extraordinary – just accessible techniques for those who want to live differently from everyone else.If you want to make your life better, you will inevitably have to change something in it. Some changes will be easy, while others will require effort and time. But in order to start thinking outside the box and living differently from others, it is important not to stop and constantly study and try new ideas and practices. For example, these:
- Recognize the hidden rules of life.These are unspoken norms that we must follow, and when we refuse, we cause disapproval of others. If you want to add a touch of fun to your life, start breaking these rules and see how people react. For example, answer the standard question “How are you?” as honestly as possible.
- Take notes.There is no universal method, but you can find a system that works best for you and use it every day. If you don’t write anything down, you will forget most of what you learn. To remember new information, repeat it regularly at short intervals.
- Maintain independent thinking.Choose a group of people who are close to you on political, religious, national, and other issues, and then analyze where you disagree with them. You will not learn to think independently if you take sides without examining all the pros and cons.
- Separate the memory of an event from the event itself.Our memory is biased. For example, we are much more likely to remember vivid moments associated with intense emotions and ignore everything else, even if the experience was more typical.
- Don’t strive for “balance.”Unperturbed, balanced people don’t change the world and are of no particular interest. Be yourself. Accept your ups and downs. Live.
- Distinguish between what you can control and what you can’t.When you stop worrying about things you can’t control , you eliminate a lot of things to worry about.
- Allow yourself small, enjoyable purchases.Think about the little things that bring you pleasure, and allow yourself to spend money on them without feeling guilty. Don’t listen to experts who advise saving by giving up a cup of coffee. Small purchases won’t affect your long-term financial goals, but they can affect your mood here and now.
- Make big purchases consciously.Sometimes a new car is really necessary, and sometimes replacing it every few years becomes a habit. If you are thinking about buying something, but can’t explain how it will make your life easier and better, think again.
- Understand the principle of loss aversion.This states that our fear of losing something is usually much stronger than our desire to gain something. Keep this in mind when calculating risks and making choices. Sometimes, being overly cautious is the riskiest thing you can do.
- Listen to your body.When you make a difficult decision and consider different options, pay attention to how you physically react to each of them. Don’t try to involve your mind – listen only to your body.
- Stop trying to please other people,especially those whose expectations are constantly changing – this will only make you feel constantly anxious.
- Be selfishly generous.Being a good person usually means being happy. Try to do something nice for someone every day.
- Use tools that help you learn new things every day,such as reading popular science articles or summaries of non-fiction books .
- Give up the pursuit of high status.If you do something just because it is prestigious, quit it and think about what you are truly interested in.
- Notice the unspoken rules of relationships.Think about what your partner wants and how you can improve the relationship. Learn about the habits and needs of the people around you. This will help you build pleasant and effective communication.
- Surround yourself with cheerful people.Some people are naturally able to lift your spirits and energize you. Spend more time with them and less time with the dull and unpleasant ones.
- Make time for exercise.Physical activity may not be enjoyable, but it helps you stay strong and healthy. When you exercise, try to think about how you will feel after you finish. And make it easier for yourself. For example, pack your things in a gym bag and leave it in the hallway the night before you go to the gym.
- Stop comparing yourself to others.Comparison is the cornerstone of suffering. Get rid of this habit, and you will become a little happier.
- Don’t watch anything you don’t like.If you can’t stop watching a show, great. But if you wouldn’t give it a 9 out of 10 and you keep watching because everyone is talking about it, stop wasting your precious time on it.
- Keep a list of your beliefs.Write down everything you believe to be true, and update the list as your views change .
- Stick to a schedule.Follow it most of the time, but break it completely from time to time. Both are necessary for success. Ambitious people live a rather boring life: they know what to do and they focus completely on it. But if you do this all the time, you risk getting stuck in one place. Yes, it is important to maintain balance here.
- Remember the formula for luck.A lucky chance = luck + action. That is, to have more luck in life, you need to be more active, literally. For example, go for walks more often and climb stairs. As soon as an idea appears, turn it into an action plan and start working on it.
- Look for different ways to achieve your goal.There are almost always several ways to achieve what you want. Often, alternative options are easier, faster, cheaper, or simply more effective.
- Give up.There is always a way out of any situation. Sometimes that means quitting . Don’t be afraid to change your mind if you don’t like something – you have the right to change your mind. And don’t regret the sunk costs. Real winners always give up.
- Breaking down boundaries for yourself and others.Sometimes people set and impose boundaries on others for no reason at all, just to protect their power. Try to fight this as much as you can.
- Build relationships based on shared values, not shared beliefs.If you’re in a ” bubble ” where you’re surrounded exclusively by people who share the same views on all important issues, it wouldn’t hurt to expand your social circle.
- Don’t use social networks as a source of news.And in general, spend as little time there as possible.
- Don’t get stuck in one system.You don’t have to wake up at 6am every day, meditate for 10 minutes, not check your email until lunch, or follow any of the other productivity rules that successful people follow. Find out what conditions you work best in and create them.
- Be understanding of everyone.Even when you are dealing with people who irritate you, remember that everyone has experienced trauma and emotional pain. And if they haven’t yet, sooner or later they will.
- Develop emotional intelligence. Mindfulnessand empathy are not innate.
- Learn to resolve conflicts.Ask yourself: Do you want to be right or do you want to be free? You can only choose one. The main rule of negotiations is that the one who worries the most loses. If you are ready to drop everything and leave, you are always in a better position.
- Study your individuality.For example, take psychological tests to determine your personality type or level of emotional intelligence. And although you shouldn’t take the results you get yourself too seriously, they may tell you something interesting about you.
- Understand the role of the ego in your life.Don’t suppress it. Instead, try to identify the moments when it makes you make bad decisions.
- Don’t change for others and don’t expect others to change for you.Most people make one or the other mistake, and that’s why they often get disappointed.
- Create a contingency plan for a crisis.What would you do if you lost your job? What if all your savings were worthless? Thinking about hypothetical scenarios like these makes you stronger.
- Be kinder. Kindnessis available to everyone. You don’t need to study or have special skills to do it, but it gives an immediate positive effect.
In the end, it all comes down to three simple things. First, there is always something to learn. Second, there is always something to do. Third, there is always a way to be kind.
Continuous learning develops and improves you, active choice helps you live differently from everyone else, and kindness can brighten someone’s everyday life and make you happier at the same time . When you are overcome by doubts, think about these three points and decide what to do next.