How to End Relationships with Friends

Think about why you want to end the friendship.

Friendships don’t just end, even if it seems like the relationship is fading away on its own.

It can actually happen naturally when your paths diverge and neither of you has the motivation to rekindle the friendship . This doesn’t mean it wasn’t real or close enough. It works like a romantic relationship. We evolve and change. Often, starting from the same point, over the long haul we become more and more distant from each other, find new interests, and are literally no longer interested in each other.

For example, a woman can give birth to a child and completely immerse herself in motherhood , which is understandable. It happens that communication with someone without any matrimonial plans acts on her like a breath of fresh air, so friends continue to meet, talk about different topics, learn a lot from each other and only strengthen their relationships in a changed life situation. And other women, on the contrary, lose contact, because one is interested exclusively in motherhood, and against this background she gets closer to the same mothers, while the other does not really like to talk about children, and the friend is not ready to discuss other topics. And it seems that they value their relationship, but nothing holds them together.

This kind of friendship is like a zombie that can still walk, but can’t be revived. Everything would be possible if both people wanted to revive it, but that’s not the case.

Sometimes feelings just cool off. Friendships are also love, and sometimes it passes. In the end, it seems like the person is the same, but some of their characteristics that you used to find cute now irritate you. Conflicts that you would have let slide before now trigger a berserker mode in you. Common activities that used to bring you joy begin to weigh you down. In short, you have cooled off. And so much so that this is not a short-term crisis, but a final point.

Finally, your friend’s behavior may become toxic towards you. Or it has always been this way, and you’ve just started to notice what’s going on. Maybe the person is overly offended with or without reason, violates your personal boundaries, willingly devalues ​​you in order to show off in front of you, or something similar. But the result is the same: you always feel very uncomfortable in their presence, and in the process of communication you constantly feel the need to defend yourself. In this case, you can continue to love the person, you are still interested in them, but such a friendship often acts destructively, so the most logical way to regain stability is to isolate yourself from them.

The reason why you decide to end the friendship may determine the best way to do so.

Let the friendship fade away on its own

Sometimes it’s enough to just stop trying so that the relationship will end on its own. This method is suitable for those whose friendship is already fading, and the other person also shows almost no interest in it and has made new friends. Stop inviting your friend anywhere and gently decline his invitations. Gradually, all this will come down to the fact that you will exchange messages with congratulations on holidays, and that’s it.

Talk to the person

This method is suitable if the friendship is still alive, but no longer brings you satisfaction. Because the other person does not feel the same. Accordingly, if you simply disappear from the radar, your friend will probably be at a loss, wondering what he did wrong, and blaming himself.

Here are some principles to follow to ensure that the conversation goes as well as possible.

Choose the right time and place

It’s better to talk alone in a quiet environment. Sharing on the balcony at a party, for example, is a bad idea. Because then you’ll have to go back to the general company trying to cope with your emotions.

The conversation should also be postponed if your friend already has a lot of problems. However, if you decided to break up because of their toxicity, sometimes it is better not to postpone the conversation, because you are literally choosing between their emotional well-being and yours. Be guided by the situation.

Give thanks for all the good things that happened in your friendship.

Even if your relationship is in crisis now, there were definitely many things in it that are pleasant to remember. And it is worth making it clear to your friend that even though you are not on the same path any more, the previous years were good thanks to him too.

Talk about your feelings, not about what your friend did wrong.

There’s little point in telling your friend everything he did wrong, even if you’re fed up. It may seem like it will give him space to change. But you’ve decided to end the conversation anyway, and it doesn’t matter to you anymore. Even if he’s toxic to you, other people may not see him that way.

Therefore, it is better to talk about yourself and what you feel. For example, that you no longer feel the same connection or that you are uncomfortable because you have started to quarrel more often . This can also make your friend feel uncomfortable. But a breakup is such a painful thing in principle. Honesty is nevertheless important here, because you have been important people to each other for a long time, and the person has the right to know the truth.

When you leave, leave.

At the end of any relationship, the hardest thing is not to look back. Even if you were the one who made the decision to break up, you may occasionally feel sad, wonder if you could go back to the way things were, and regret your actions. But if you are determined, be prepared to resist impulses.

If you start texting, meeting up with your friend periodically to check on what’s going on, it will hurt both of you. Your friend will receive mixed signals from you, which they may interpret incorrectly. This means you’ll have to go through the breakup more than once. This only prolongs the agony.

Prepare for the consequences

Your emotions are not all you may face after a breakup. Your ex-friend may act aggressively, start spreading rumors, or do other unpleasant things. You can’t control their behavior, but you can control yours. So try not to engage in this battle and not to respond in kind. You can defend yourself, but you shouldn’t attack.

You also need to be prepared for the fact that some of your mutual friends may stay with him, which means you will lose more than one acquaintance.

This is life, and our decisions have consequences. We must accept them and move on. After all, you did not break off friendly relations just like that, but for good reasons for you.