Scientist, doctor of psychology and professor at Yale University Robert Leahy has devoted many years to studying cognitive behavioral therapy. He claims that anxiety can and should be fought to avoid depression and apathy. Together with LitRes, we have collected simple methods from his bestseller “Freedom from Anxiety: Deal with Anxiety Before It Deals with You.” They will help you overcome stress, stop being nervous and breathe deeply.
Understand that anxiety is natural
The first step towards solving the problem is acceptance. It is important to understand that anxiety is a natural phenomenon, programmed into us by nature. Without it, humanity would simply not have survived during evolution: threats from the external environment developed the psyche of our ancestors. If you accept this fact and learn to assess the danger adequately, then anxiety can be useful. In addition, Leahy shares an important rule. Remember that the level of fear you experience is actually determined not by the situation you find yourself in, but by how you interpret it. This means that if you change your approach to the circumstances, then your fear will change.
Look at things realistically
According to Robert Leahy’s theory, when we find ourselves face to face with our fear, we automatically think that “all is lost.” We do not analyze the situation, but accept the danger as a given. For example, before a public speech, we immediately decide that we will forget the right words. This process can be outsmarted by “risk reassessment.” Ask yourself a couple of questions: are you considering all the information or are you concentrating on the negative? Are you under the influence of your imagination? Are your predictions based on facts or feelings? Try writing down the answers. This way, you will understand that your imagination is far from reality, and internal experiences do not predict the future.
Relax your body
Anxiety makes the body tense up: the brain sends impulses to the body to be ready to react to danger. The heartbeat and breathing quicken, the blood pressure rises, sweating appears – all this only increases stress. It turns out to be a vicious circle. Leahy strongly recommends learning to relax in order to avoid falling into this trap. For example, use the “tension-relaxation” technique in turn for different muscle groups: strongly tense body parts for 5 seconds, and then relax and breathe deeply. Or count to five, making sure that the count falls on the exhale. If you practice in a calm state, then in a moment of anxiety, these exercises will come to the rescue.
Distinguish between possibility and probability
A person is distinguished by critical thinking and the ability to analyze. Imagine that you need to start a new job. This thought causes anxiety, because we are afraid of failure. You need to answer the question, what is the probability that this will happen? And if you had to bet money on a negative outcome, would you make this bet? The writer also mentions the technique of double standards – we treat a situation completely differently when we ourselves are not involved in it. For example, if your friend was going to start a new job, would you think of his failure as inevitable? And even if it happened, would it be the end of the world? Try to think about fear from this point of view.
Let go of the situation
Anxious people are afraid of losing control over what is happening. During a flight, it seems that if you squeeze the handle of the seat, the plane will land safely. If we experience fear of an exam, we frantically repeat the answers. At the same time, panic confuses thoughts, it seems that everything has flown out of our heads, we begin to worry even more. It is impossible to control your obsessive thoughts. Likhi advises trying not to control feelings, but to immerse yourself in them, to observe. Step back, look around, count your heart rate. He compares it to swimming. What should a person who is drowning do? It is useless to beat your hands on the water. You need to turn over on your back, hold your breath and drift along the waves.
Be honest with yourself
Robert Leahy calls this practice “stress inoculation.” Collect in your head all the most negative thoughts and scenarios that make you anxious. Transfer them to paper, and write a counterargument next to each point. For example, if you are worried about a feeling of uncertainty, then indicate a rational answer: “I have loved ones who will support me in any situation.” If it seems that failure is haunting you in life, then honestly write down all your achievements and skills. And you will see that for any of your fears and worries there is a worthy reason why you should not be afraid.
Experience fear in your imagination
You can meet your fears face to face. If elevators scare you, then linger in the lobby of the building to watch people enter and exit. You will see that nothing scary is happening. But this is not enough. You need to practice imagining frightening situations in detail – this is a “rehearsal” before meeting the source of anxiety. Break the fear down into stages: the path to the elevator, waiting, the ride in it. “Live” them inside yourself, lingering until the anxiety subsides. Leahy notes that it is important to vividly and in detail imagine each step, and if suddenly you get bored while doing this exercise, that’s great – now it will be easier for you to meet the object of fear in person.
Healthy sleep helps in the fight against anxiety
Insomnia is a consequence of anxiety. Robert Leahy gives advice on how to cope with it. First, go to bed and get up at the same time, regardless of fatigue. Second, do not sleep during the day. Although this creates a feeling of recovery, it disrupts your rhythms. Third, the bed should be used only for sleep: do not read in it, sit on your smartphone or scroll through the news. Leahy also advises to set aside time for yourself to “think” a few hours before bed, so that anxious thoughts do not occupy your head in bed, and even better – spill it all out on paper. By the way, if you can’t fall asleep, then you should not heat up the situation and say: “Tomorrow I will be broken and will not be able to do anything.” Reassure yourself: “Maybe I will be tired, but I can cope with it.