Everyone wants the same thing in a relationship – to be important, valuable, significant to the other person. So, whether it’s your romantic partner or a close friend, to make the relationship last, you need to constantly, on a daily basis, feed them with confirmations that they are special to you. Psychologist and psychiatrist Joseph Schrand from Harvard University, based on his own experience (he and his wife have been happily married for 46 years), developed six simple rules, following which you can be sure that your romantic or friendly relationship will be long and stable.
Relationships are always built on trust. We trust those we value and we value those we trust. Trust allows you to be who you are in a relationship without fear of being valued less. You can express your opinion honestly and openly, the other person may not agree with it, but that does not mean that they have stopped respecting you.
2. Pay attention
If your partner or friend seems happy, sad, angry, scared, upset, always respond to their emotional state. This shows that you care, that you care.
3. Don’t forget about the little things
If we are talking about a romantic relationship, say at least once a day, but every day, “I love you.” If we are talking about friendship, then try to do and say something kind as often as possible, reminding the person of their importance to you.
4. Admire, don’t worry
Whatever your partner or friend does, accept it, show interest, be surprised, but do not judge or condemn. Remember that you trust each other, and therefore do not be afraid to seem imperfect.
5. Laugh every day
Laughter is a pure expression of the joy of life: the joy of being together, the joy of having the same sense of humor. Joke together more often, laugh, have fun, and your relationship will last forever. In addition, laughter releases the neurohormone oxytocin, which is called the “hormone of love, trust, and closeness.”
6. Talk to each other
Here Schrand gives an example from his own family life. “My wife and I rarely argue, but once, during an argument, she said to me, ‘Well, I’m sorry I made your life so miserable and wretched.’ It was a dangerous moment. ‘I never said you made my life miserable and wretched,’ I replied. ‘Well, we’ll see about that,’ she replied without hesitation. We both burst out laughing, the argument was over, and we were able to discuss our different points of view with each other, rather than vent our grievances to each other.”