There are many who still cannot forgive an insult, cannot come to terms with a failure in business or forget a past partner.
Of course, it is normal that in one way or another it remains in the memory. But it’s one thing when you simply remember your experience. It is another problem when the main forces and attention are concentrated in the past, but not enough for the present.
How to stop living in the past, how to let go and change, how to get involved in the present?
Here are clear, accessible and fully implementable rules.
- Only change what you can change
Spend your energy only on what can truly be redone, repaired, and so on. What cannot be changed, what is already irreversible, accept as fact.
- Give and create
It removes judgement, interpretation and expectations and leaves only the facts. Don’t expect anything new from this story or this person.
- Don’t let the victim mentality rule you.
You are not a victim, but a survivor and an overcomer. Focus on what you have achieved and overcome, not how you suffered at one point.
- Find benefits from anchoring in the past
Whatever may be said, there are certain benefits from such a state. You may not move on, you may drown in grief and blame others for your failures. But will such a position lead to positive changes?
- Forgive yourself for everything
Don’t blame or shame yourself. You did the best you could then. That’s how I saw the situation at the time. If everything seems different to you now, it means you’ve grown and changed.
- Don’t be a hostage to your self-image
What negativity have you put on yourself? What disadvantages do you constantly exaggerate? Maybe it’s time to paint your updated image.
- Accept and realize your full responsibility for what happens in your life
You choose, you decide, you act. Your “never” and “can’t” are the fruit of your consciousness. You have the power to change a lot.
- Express your gratitude regularly
Gratitude for what helped you grow. Gratitude for what makes you happy right now. Gratitude for chances and opportunities.
- Write yourself a letter
In it, say goodbye to the past, summarize the main results and promise yourself that you will be happy.
- Immerse yourself sincerely in the present and enjoy it
Focus on the here and now, get involved. Control this condition at least for short periods, then increase them.
- Look ahead
With interest, anticipation, pleasant expectation.
- Embrace change
Try as many new things as you can. Be prepared to meet only the best in these changes.