Instead of scaring each other with announcements of serious conversations, implement these six practices into your routine to strengthen your relationship. Even a quarter of an hour a day is enough to make a qualitative change!
Offer to resolve the conflict in 7 minutes
Scientists at Stanford University conducted an experiment based on the principle that people approach problems more constructively and creatively when they can distance themselves from them. Couples were asked to write about a family conflict from the perspective of someone who wanted the best for their relationship and was willing to offer positive advice. Most found that seven minutes was enough to come to a solution. Do this exercise with a partner, and you’ll have at least two scenarios for how to resolve a difficult situation.
Create family rituals
In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it can feel like you’re living with an estranged neighbor rather than a loved one. To maintain a sense of community, create family rituals. Whether it’s walking the dog together in the morning or watching a movie on Friday nights, or cooking dinner together on the weekends, family rituals provide a sense of stability and closeness, encouraging you to connect without distractions.
Agree on a digital detox
When your partner is more into their smartphone than you, the chances of mutual understanding are minimal. Often, the need to be in touch is dictated by your profession, but in most cases, it is possible to switch off for 10–30 minutes. Agree on a regular digital detox — a time when you turn off all technology and talk to each other. It is not necessary to discuss conflicts; this simple exercise will help you establish a connection and get a well-deserved portion of attention from your significant other.
Make a list of the good
It is important not to get stuck in a cycle of mutual criticism. Try to make a list of all the positive things your man has done. He made you a cup of tea, reminded you of an important matter, stopped by for groceries, cheered you up with a stupid joke – perhaps the conflict situation will cover these little things, but you will have a better understanding of why you are still together. The advanced version involves thanking out loud. By the way, discussing the positive moments of the day before bed can become a great family ritual.
Kiss for at least 6 seconds
Often, small but consistent actions bring the best results. This also applies to kissing. Even if it is a simple peck on the lips, let it be a little longer and less formal. Add to this at least one declaration of love per day and strong minute-long hugs – these basic ways to give each other attention in a romantic way will change the relationship for the better.
Share your expectations every six months
Research shows that couples who regularly review their relationships together reduce the likelihood of separation. Instead of reproaches and complaints, plan regular “business” meetings in a relaxed atmosphere. The main goal of such dates is not to relax, but to exchange feelings about the relationship, note the pros and cons, make joint plans and outline specific goals. The opportunity to speak out will wean you and your partner from harboring grudges.