There is no universal recipe for happiness, but there are nuances, without which life together risks turning into a real nightmare. Practice the following 10 habits, and soon you will see: healthy relationships are not a utopia, but a conscious choice!
Doing household chores together
There are few things that are as annoying and resentful as feeling like you’ve become your partner’s servant. Although at first it may seem like he’s more tired at work, doesn’t have enough free time, or simply doesn’t consider cleaning a man’s job. In a healthy relationship, both partners understand that dumping all the chores on the other half is unfair. Discuss how you can divide up the responsibilities so that you can handle the household together without unnecessary discomfort. Hate washing dishes? Take on the laundry. Does your loved one not want to wash the dishes either? Consider buying a dishwasher.
Study your partner’s needs
It doesn’t matter whether you’ve read the book “The Five Love Languages”, what’s important is observation and the ability to do some basic analysis. For example, if your partner hates gifts and loves hugs, give them more often and avoid surprises. We are all different and, to the best of our ability, we express our feelings in different ways, just as we accept love. In addition to gifts, they can be expressed by words of approval, spending time together, emotional confessions, touches, care and unity (shared views, plans, dreams). A person in a healthy relationship, even without theoretical training, subconsciously reads the partner’s preferences – the right signals help maintain reciprocity, affection and warmth.
Raise difficult topics
Problems that are awkward to discuss (and that do not require an immediate solution) are often ignored, but over time they can turn into troubles in the relationship, up to its end. The habit of speaking frankly with your partner, without embarrassment, will pay off with trust and complete mutual understanding. Discussing difficult topics is not always easy, but it is absolutely necessary.
Thank
Whether it’s a sweet note, a message thanking for caring, or making your partner a cup of their favorite drink, these are all basic ways to express appreciation and approval. Every person literally needs to be liked by their loved ones and to know that they are appreciated, no matter what their level of popularity in society is. Regularly expressing gratitude will strengthen your relationship and take it to a new level if you haven’t had such a habit before. After all, the best thing about this approach is that you can count on reciprocity.
Give hugs and touches
Don’t forget about the importance of physical contact: the touch of a loved one releases oxytocin. The so-called love hormone plays a huge role in relationships – it is thanks to it that we feel protected and at peace with our loved ones. Find time for at least a long hug – they not only strengthen intimacy, but are also indirectly beneficial for health. Less stress – stronger immunity, and everything is fine with mental health.
Resolve conflicts fairly
If a couple constantly disagrees, this does not mean that your relationship is unhealthy. It only becomes unhealthy when everyone wants to emerge victorious from the conflict, at any cost. Instead of defending your position on principle, try to listen to each other and come to a solution that suits both. And it is never too late (and not shameful) to admit your mistakes.
Ask and answer directly
If you think of a relationship as work, your primary “job” is to make sure you are understood. Your partner, fortunately or unfortunately, is not a mind reader. And conflicting signals can be confusing and breed misunderstandings. You probably have different worldviews, expectations, and experiences. A healthy relationship means that you can always ask directly about anything that seems ambiguous to you. And your partner will answer. No hard feelings. The happiest couples are open about their desires and feelings and respect each other’s differences.
Respect boundaries
Relationships without boundaries can hardly be healthy by definition. What is acceptable for you may be unacceptable for your partner, and vice versa. People in healthy relationships know and respect each other’s boundaries. For some, a kiss in public is unacceptable, and someone does not want to become the hero of a “series” about the relationship on social networks of the second half. A happy life together is possible without both.
Spend time apart
Building trust and a healthy attachment system is simply impossible when you are constantly under each other’s supervision. And if you have begun to notice that you have nothing to talk about, it is even more time to practice separate leisure. The balance between the general and the personal is different for each specific couple, but you should not go to extremes in any case. The degree of satisfaction with the relationship and freedom from the feeling of fatigue from each other largely depend on this balance.
Forgive
You are mistaken if you think that in an ideal relationship there is nothing to forgive. On the contrary, in a healthy relationship, partners understand that sincerity in the matter of apologies and forgiveness is the key to a strong union. The main thing is not to turn apologies into a formality for ending a conflict. A real apology is always associated with the understanding that you hurt someone’s feelings by mistake. And forgiveness, meanwhile, presupposes the desire to understand that you were offended unintentionally.