Each person is unique, with unique gifts, qualities and opportunities. Every human being has an infinitely high value, and cannot be exchanged for anyone else. But not all people are able to discover and recognize their full potential. I think it’s because we’re being programmed to grow up to be a concept of our social environment. Factors that limit and inhibit the individual from shrinking due to lack of support and appreciation. A society where every person’s potential can be exploited becomes an exciting, progressive society, rich in spiritual assets. It is such a society I want to help create.
As a human being, unlike animals, you are a being who can speak, develop and create. With language, you communicate and receive thoughts and impulses from the outside world, which you in turn can process, reshape and further develop. It is often in the meeting between people, when different thoughts, abilities and competencies come into contact with each other, that the new groundbreaking ideas arise. Your creation can take many forms, perhaps artistically or musically, perhaps by helping people, or making inventions, or starting a business. All people have a potential to create. The question is how exactly is your potential to be discovered, affirmed and get support to be able to develop?
I see in front of me a society where we affirm, support and appreciate all the expressions that human creation can take. We can use political power to create ideal conditions for human creativity. As it looks today, we instead place great obstacles, for the young people and the people to develop into these are. In the Sweden I dream of, every person’s development is valuable and deserves to be developed.
A child who is deprived of the right to be who they are cannot love as an adult. A child without inner security grows up with a great lack of identity where they constantly feel anxiety and fear, because they are constantly dependent on being confirmed for what they do have and perform. But still the potential is there, in every child. A child longs for love, as “the deer longs for streams of water.” And when it receives love, it can develop its potential to love. We must create a society where there is room for love, where parents are given more time with their children, where not all time has to be spent earning their daily bread. With more time, the wear and tear on relationships also decreases and it becomes easier to stay together, and above all create a safe and loving environment, where children can grow into safe adults, who can both give and receive love.
Our big lie in our society is often, “you should not think you are anything!”. I want you to believe the opposite. You are something! You are something amazing! You just have not discovered how amazing you are. History is full of examples of people who have done the impossible. From Moses, who brought an entire people out of Egypt to Göran Kropp’s ascent of the Himalayas. We must have a social climate that believes in the individual, regardless of age. Not all great deeds in the history of mankind have been done by young people. Many have been old, even very old. I believe that you can “go on water”, whether you are young or old.
During the course of your life, you make important choices. You choose education. You choose a partner. You choose the employer. You choose where and how to live. These choices affect how life turns out. If we choose the wrong education, we may fail to develop the potential we have. If we choose the wrong partner, the love life we dream of may turn into a nightmare life. If we choose the wrong job, our creative potential may not be realized. Choosing the wrong thing in life can have devastating consequences, and we do it all the time as we do not make active choices but only passive choices based on our programmed life pattern, which means that we only make choices based on what our social environment thinks and thinks
Unlike other animals, humans have a self-reflective consciousness. This consciousness has a free choice in all its actions and decisions, and is also itself aware of this freedom. Thus, we have the opportunity to act in a way that we think is right and proper; we may want to choose what we want.
But all too often we humans give up our free choice. Instead, we behave, without reflecting, as someone else wants, or as others implicitly expect us to act. In social psychology, people talk about the image we constantly carry with us; the perception we think others have of us. This image, the survival self or ego, we then try to get confirmed by other people. In this way, the unique individual is reduced to a role, which he or she also does everything to fit into. In this situation, the individual has given up his or her freedom and become subordinate to the role, instead of letting the role be subordinate to the individual. I want to question whether this is really healthy, and I start from the fact that every human being is absolutely unique!
If we humans want to be free, we must start by waking up from all our roles, both public (religious role, political role, professional role) and private (gender roles, fashion, ideals) and realize that these are not eternal, that we must try to form a new perception in each unique situation. This is a frightening thought for many, as many of the things that seem to characterize our survival identity disappear. But in reality, we are only getting closer to our true identity, because we are ending up with different types of simplifications. The only thing we really are can be said to be – in existentialist terms – our future and our plans for it!
In the West, we are traditionally completely dependent on others’ appreciation for our well-being. This leads to us adapting so that we become popular, we step into different roles. In the East there is a completely different tradition; instead of acknowledging the need for appreciation from others, one should try to abolish it and thereby become free. Only you can know your true essence, and only you can determine its value! You can seek support and advice in how others perceive you, but the final decision lies solely with yourself! At the same time as you adapt to a role – perhaps because you want to be liked, or because it’s just the simplest – you give up your own unique identity!
When we grow up, we are filled with other people’s life lies, worries and claims. What we ourselves feel often does not fit. When we then have to move on in life, we are confused, as we often feel one thing and think something else. In the brain gathers all the information we have received from others in the feeling sits our own inner truths. To understand ourselves, we must understand and respect what we feel from within our true selves. The feeling is the mouthpiece of the soul!
The feeling is the sum of all our vintages from ourselves as children to ourselves as adults. If others gagged on them, we must not do the same. You are the only adult who knows how your inner child feels. What do you want to give yourself for inner truths.
No one owns anyone else, neither children nor adults. We are all shaped in different ways, and who has the right to say: “I am right and you are wrong”? Only he who has lifted out the opinions of others and begins to know himself can express himself about what he experiences as true. But he also understands how wrong it is to deny someone else their opinion and value. Greatness is expressing one’s needs and allowing others to express their opinions with respect. There is no requirement in this to follow each other’s paths, but this happens when both want. Love is not something you give and take. Love is something you give and receive and share with each other.
See yourself as a unique individual and have your boundaries and life truths clear within you. Express them along with your needs and give others the same right. In all true relationships, communication takes place where both listen, give space and respect each other’s rights. Trust is the cornerstone because if you trust yourself, you trust others. Doubt breeds control trust breeds freedom.
Reflect on others and think about how you want others to reflect on you. Should others see something that is bright, honest, permissive and open? Trust that in it, others can see the same qualities in themselves. If you live in a bad relationship, it is not the other person’s fault, but you have the free will to say “No, I do not want to” and go whenever you want. You can not change anyone else, only yourself. In your relationships, others treat you as you treat yourself.
You can stubbornly try to change others, but the more you try, the less they change. The only way is to work with your own life lies, emotions and what rules you want in your life. By standing up for yours, you teach others to stand up for themselves.
If you think that others can give you what you lack emotionally, then it’s like crossing the river for water. In order to be loved, we must ground the feeling in ourselves. If you look down on yourself, others will do the same, as that is what others see you allow. When you stand up for yourself, you gain respect.
Everything in your life is based on you – make sure it is something good
To think about
I say instead of man. Use I-language to show that what you are saying applies to you, that you are talking about your own feelings. Many people avoid using the word I because they think they are attracting attention. They imagine that people should think they are selfish. The most important thing is that the word I means that you take responsibility for what you say.
Express what you feel and think. Do not wait for someone else to say what you are going to say. Saying your opinion has a good effect on self-esteem, especially if you dare to say what you think before you know what someone else thinks.
Talk positively to yourself. How many negative messages get through your head every day? It is not really strange if self-esteem is low. Day in and day out, we feed ourselves with many gloomy and unjust messages about ourselves.
Dare to do something new. Stretch your limits and do things you have not done before. Dare to go a little outside your life pattern and safety zone. You can do more than you think. Within this safety zone, there is everything you have done so often that it feels comfortable to do it again.
Use your opportunities. We often talk about everything we can not do, instead dare to look at what you are good at and develop it.
Give / receive the praise of others. Showing appreciation or praising someone for something we think they have done well can feel difficult for many. How often do you remember, or take the time, to tell others how much you like, admire or appreciate them? For many, it is not often enough. All compliments do good, if they are honest. Here too, practice, practice praising others – honestly and sincerely. So, say what you like, admire or appreciate in at least one person every day.
Gain perspective on life. Also ask yourself how important what you are currently angry / disappointed about will be next week – next year – in ten years.
Take the opportunity to be anonymous. Try a new self. People you have never met before have no preconceived notion that you should be or dress a certain way. Take care when you leave your home court.
Do not let the environment decide how you should be. You must decide for yourself when you are good enough. You can never be satisfied with being good to someone else.
Dare to love yourself. Sounds too much, so at least start by liking yourself. You are unique, special and absolutely incredible. Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship in your life. If it does not work, it is difficult to make other relationships work. If you do not support yourself, you can not expect support from others. Give yourself what you should have received as a child – unconditional love. The only thing you can change is yourself so get started – make the most of your life and enjoy it.
Sit in front of a mirror. Meet your own gaze and breathe deeply for a while, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Hold your hands together in front of your chest. For each deep breath, move your hands outward a little at a time. Decide on the breath that “I have the right to take a seat”. After about 10 breaths, keep your arms straight out to the side and only allow yourself to have a large space. Feel that you have the right to take a seat and understand that the person you meet now is the person you must trust the most, give the most time and space. Now just put your hands in your lap and listen to what you feel. Tell him / her about these feelings in the mirror. It can be secrets, promises or things in life. The important thing is that you begin to build confidence in yourself! Do this for about 5-10 minutes a day, and you will get to know yourself anew, more and more every day!
- You have the right to exist and be loved.
• You have the right to receive without debt.
• You have the right to express your feelings and needs.
• You have the right not to take responsibility for the feelings of others.
• You have the right to say Yes and No, based on what you want.
• You have the right to hang out with whoever you want.
• You have the right to go where you want.
• You have the right to be free in all parts of you.
• You have the right to make mistakes.
• You have the right to your thoughts, feelings and values.
• You have the right to spend the time you need for yourself.
Exercise 2, balancing:
Stand up and shake off your body in a few deep breaths. Free yourself from tension and stress. Sit down comfortably and connect the fingertips of the right and left hands with each other in front of the chest. Place your thumbs towards the center of the chest and rest with your eyes straight ahead. Now breathe in and out gently through your nose all the way down to your stomach. Feel that you are in contact with the whole body. Take a few breaths down to your feet to land completely. Imagine that you fold the body halves to the side, so that you keep a V-shape of openness all the way down. Now breathe softly and let your body balance automatically. Rest for about 5 minutes. Finish by stretching your arms and legs in a deep breath.
- You are outstanding. Learn to like yourself, to appreciate yourself. You can not ask others to like you, unless you do. But for that you should not become selfish.
- You are worth far more than you think. You are unique! There is not a single person on earth who is an exact copy of you, neither in appearance nor mindset.
- You can learn everything. Realize that you can not learn everything you want in one week! The loser is recognized by the fact that he does not make more than a couple, three attempts, then he loses his appetite and gives up.
- You are better than many others. Because you are unique, you have ideas that many others do not have.
- You know a lot that others do not know. You have experiences that others do not have.
- You have a lot to be proud of. It is enough to be able to smile at your fellow human beings and you have something to be proud of.
- You are good at everything. The truth is that you are good at everything, as long as you give yourself a chance. But you do not always have to be the best. It is enough to be so good that you enjoy it.
- Smile and laugh. Smile at others. The smile strengthens your fellow human beings and helps you to tolerate their mistakes and shortcomings. There is always something positive to pick up in every situation and in every individual. But that assumes you have an ability to smile at people instead of laughing at them.
- Someone cares about you. Always give praise when you think a person deserves it. If you give praise yourself, you get praise back. By praising others, you are also training away any jealous tendencies in yourself.
- You have the skills to teach. You have unimaginable possibilities. Because
you are unique, you have knowledge that many others do not have.