We often talk about a decline in desire but for some lucky women this is not the case: the end of the fertile age can mark a real new era of intimate relationships. That’s when it happens and when menopause curbs the desire for intimacy.
This article was written in collaboration with our team of doctors
No need to go around it: menopause can change intimacy . This can happen because the absolutely normal and physiological hormonal changes during this period can generate other changes, more or less visible, both in your body and in your intimacy.
These changes could be felt in the relationship with your partner: for many menopause affects desire and can lead to a sort of loss of motivation and that sensual “push”, for others it represents a happy moment. The fact of being no longer fertile can represent a relief, a reason for greater freedom to act and tranquility, so much so as to revive – in the true sense of the word – the desire to be together.
If you want to know more, here we explain how the female genital system changes after the age of 50 ,
Does desire rekindle in menopause? It is not just a matter of luck
Are lucky women those who experience these sensations and this newfound sex appeal after menopause?
No. Women who feel good about themselves after the end of their fertile life exist and are mainly positive people , people who welcome changes with enthusiasm, women who understand that some minor ailment can be normal and that it is a sign that everything is going as well. must go: good!
Much also depends on the care and attention to yourself before, during and after menopause: they are generally women followed by a specialist experienced in menopause , who care about their physical and psychological well-being, who make constant physical movement and who are attentive to nutrition.
But let’s see if there is any “secret” to know.
When menopause marks a new era of intimate relationships
Life expectancy has been so lengthened that the years a woman spends in menopause correspond to about one third of her life : too many to think that once the menstrual cycle has disappeared, desire and intimate life also disappear.
If you can manage some small discomfort and annoyance of the first years of climacteric, you can also find yourself rediscovering (even more than before) the desire and passion , thanks to a number of factors:
- The end of the fertile age “relieves” the worry of unwanted pregnancy
- At this point in life , children are often grown up and live outside the home, so the pace slows down and you have more time to dedicate to yourself.
- Generally, at this point in life, the working career is at its peak: established positions, less worries about the stability of family finances, more possibilities to take off some whim, to travel, to have exclusive experiences. This possibility is to the full advantage of the possibility (and pleasure) of “getting back into the game” in all respects.
Tackling menopause with positivity: when the psychological component is the key
The psychological component plays the “lion’s share”. Watching menopause without complaints but with a firm belief that it is a normal and positive event can help you find the key to enjoying it to the fullest.
What are the beliefs you can work on?
- Accept with serenity what happens to body and mind. Menopause is not a disease and for many ailments there is a remedy: just choose to be followed by a good gynecologist , if necessary by a therapist, and take care of getting better (without worrying about being sick)
- Take care of your well-being with a healthy and correct diet and the practice of physical activity (even light but constant). Laziness, lack of motivation, apathy do not bring improvements.
- Take care of your appearance : go to the hairdresser, go shopping, reward yourself with an afternoon in the Spa every now and then, try face massages (even do-it-yourself) to tone, plump and invigorate the skin and look in the mirror for what six: a gorgeous mature woman.
Re-centering will also help you under the sheets, believe it or not. The body awareness you have today will do the rest.
Even complicity in the couple relationship is fundamental: if the desire does not diminish but the pleasure is more difficult to achieve or relationships are sometimes painful, it is important to find in the partner an accomplice and an attentive interlocutor for those moments in which delicacy is necessary. and attention.
The dialogue in this sense, is very important, but to be effective must be sincere and free from embarrassment. The desire is there but on the most beautiful something is wrong? The pursuit of pleasure is intense but this is no longer the same? The important thing is to tell each other and, together, to stem the obstacles. If it helps, even turning to a gynecologist who helps the couple to enhance intimacy in menopause .
In menopause, desire and empathy increase: science says so
It then happens that menopause can turn into an opportunity: that of experiencing a new version of yourself , to be welcomed with pride and positivity, removing anxiety and fears (mostly unfounded) for this new season of life. This is also confirmed by some scientific studies.
According to a study published in the Journals of Gerontology: Psychological and Social Sciences , over 50s are at the top of the empathy ranking . More skilled in listening and in relating to the emotional states of those in front of them, they have greater empathic abilities than those in their twenties and thirties. Among other things, this would have the effect of increasing the desire which is all a game of so-called “weak signals”, unspoken, emotions and sensations.
A healthy sex life is good for all ages and, in spite of clichés, even more so in menopause because it helps maintain the morale and welfare of the woman, according to a study of ‘ Anglia Ruskin University English (Cambridge) , published on the journal sexual Medicine , in fact, frequent sexual intercourse is associated with a number of benefits for psychological and physiological well-being .
And if there is pain and discomfort, what can be done?
The small physical and psychological disturbances that menopause can cause can have a negative effect on the desire and desire for intimacy. It is good to remember, however, that a lot can be done by contacting a gynecologist who answers the questions about the most frequent problems of sex in menopause .
The first enemies of intimacy during this period are generally burning, intimate itching , dryness and pain during intercourse . In 50% of cases these discomforts are symptoms of a very common disorder among women in menopause (affects 1 in 2 women and can begin to manifest itself from perimenopause), yet little known or underestimated, which is called Vulvo Vaginal Atrophy . It is a progressive and chronic pathological condition that causes thinning of the vulvar tissues and can have a strong impact on the quality of life .
Only the gynecologist can diagnose Vulvo Vaginal Atrophy and identify a specific path suitable for each woman, helping you to regain intimacy and desire with your partner.