This year I quit smoking, but we don’t talk about it until December!
From tomorrow I go on a diet!
I could go for the exam, but I still don’t feel prepared… maybe I’ll do it next session.
Tomorrow I ask her to go out with me, now is not the right time … better wait until she is in the right mood.
If I studied a little more I could do much better, but if I do too well everyone will expect great results from me… better not to overdo it!
Everyone wants something from me … do you know what I tell you? Which, although it would be useful to me, I don’t!
If you too find yourself in one of these sentences then you know what psychologists call ” procrastination “, the habit of always postponing things to do for another time.
Chronic procrastination is not only the manifestation of lack of willpower, but above all the manifestation of an inner discomfort , of something that is blocking you and does not allow you to move forward on your path. Each one of us may have been inclined to procrastinate more or less depending on the situation he experiences or the object of procrastination. For example, there are some people who are very precise and orderly in their study or work, but extremely disorganized and inefficient in personal care, room or home. It is not that they are not able to put all their precision into these things too, they simply do not feel like it , they do not feel like it or even do it on purpose !
There are in fact different types of procrastinator, which can basically be divided into two categories: the ” relaxed ” and the ” worried “. [ Solomon & Rothblum, 1984 ]
The relaxed procrastinator is usually the one who hates routine and prefers to always do different things. For this reason he shows a lot of energy in front of new things, but after a while he gets bored or demotivated and looks for another “source of inspiration”. Have you ever wanted to go to the gym to build muscle or to get fitter? You probably started with great passion and energy, then, after a few days , the thrust of the novelty started to wane and one day because it rains, one because you don’t really want to, one because you felt tired… you gave up. According to a research conducted by Monica Ramirez Basco of the University of Texas in this category of procrastinators we can include:
- Avoidant. These are those who avoid doing something because they find it unpleasant or stimulating. In some cases this attitude can be applied to small things, for example physical activity, but it can become much more radical until you pile up the mail, throw out the trash before the smell spreads throughout the house, or schedule that important visit. .
- Disorganized. They are the ones who fundamentally overestimate themselves! Faced with the need to do something, they answer “in a while, I’ll do it very well”. For example, there are those who in front of the approaching exam not only have not done a study program, but continue to move forward the moment when they will start studying, preferring to watch TV, play video games or call friends. until the credit runs out.
- Hedonists. “I don’t feel like it now … first pleasure and then duty!” this could be the phrase that best represents this category … in short, rather than tidying up the room or doing homework or arranging the bills they find any trick more fun
If you have recognized yourself in this portrait, the first step to free yourself from procrastination is to realize how much you limit and damage yourself. You would like everything immediately , perhaps with someone who does something for you, but only by working day by day and working hard will you get the results you deserve and you will be able to fully enjoy the fact of having obtained them. If you want to make good use of your time, you can follow Parkinson’s 1st law
The “ worried ” procrastinator does not have much confidence in himself and in his abilities, so he tends to send things back to her out of fear or negative beliefs that have taken root in him. In this category different types can be distinguished:
- Perfectionist. This attitude is typical of students who don’t feel like taking exams because they never feel prepared. In practice, all the people who say “all or nothing” fall into this category and for fear of not being able to do well they tend to move the goal forward. Paradoxically, they cannot say no to the requests they receive and therefore find themselves overwhelmed by a thousand things to do. To free yourself from perfectionism and enjoy life you can follow the three tips that will allow you to get out of the cage!
- Insecure. They are the people who put off indefinitely because they don’t feel able to accomplish what they would like. For example, there are those who would like to send a girl out, but it never seems like the right time to do so, or there are those who would like to change jobs, but are always blocked by the fear of not being up to the new task that will show up.
- The one who is afraid of success. Success is more feared than failure! Being successful, doing well in school, or being too good at your job could generate a lot of expectations so it’s best to limit yourself. Success can trigger internal feelings of guilt, especially if it comes for those who feel they don’t deserve it
- Rebel. The girl who doesn’t cook for her boyfriend for fear of being told that his mother’s plate is better, the husband who doesn’t take out the garbage or the son who parks at university to prove to his parents they were wrong when he they have imposed that faculty. These are all examples of procrastination adopted as a relational strategy, that is, to communicate something to others in an indirect way. By the way, if you want to choose the right faculty, these are the three mistakes you shouldn’t make
Many of these attitudes are often ingrained and not easy to get rid of. It’s a bit like the habit of smoking, eating, or picking your nose. It may seem absurd but many people cannot easily break free of these habits, also because they do not use the right techniques, but they invest a lot of time in understanding the cause of the habit. For example, if you are a smoker and this habit bothers you, then you would like to get rid of it little need to investigate why you smoke: it is probably because you think you are relaxing, or because gestures are now part of you or because they are one of the few. moments when you can be at peace with yourself without anyone stressing you. Will you quit smoking after you understand the reason (s)? I do not believe! Only after becoming aware that this habit is a limiting condition and having replaced it with a condition that suits you best (for example “I want to be well and healthy”), will you be free! To get rid of some “bad” habits you can use the swish technique , you will change the perspective from which you look at things: you will be amazed at the results!
I’ll tell you more: depending on the situation you are in you may be a relaxed or worried procrastinator, this is because your reaction and the thought you have about what you are doing or not doing is always related to your values . I’ll give you an example: procrastinating the decision of where to go on vacation can be a “relaxed procrastinator” attitude if it is simply the result of the fact that you are used to deciding at the last moment how to have fun or you are simply not very organized in your private life. However, it could also be the attitude of a “worried procrastinator” if the lack of decision stems from the fact that you are afraid to travel or feel oppressed by family or still want to demonstrate your rebellious disposition.