What Is Sense of Guilt

Today I want to explain to you how to experience guilt positively and how to stop feeling it from here on out.

Feeling guilty is an experience we have all had, but it is not necessary if you understand well how it arises and how you can manage and eliminate it from your life.

To eliminate all possible feelings of guilt, we must take small steps, simple but concrete. Here are the 5 steps to work on:

1. STEP 1: How guilt works
2. STEP 2: What your guilt is telling you.
3. STEP 3: Are you really wrong?
4. STEP 4: How to deal with your mistakes (even serious and irreparable).
5. STEP 5: How to overcome feelings of guilt (forever).

That said, let’s get started.

How Guilt Works [STEP 1]

By Megumì Campanella.

When we are faced with guilt, we must first clarify .

If we feel guilty, it means we may have made a mistake.
And I stress the could .

The sense of guilt does not indicate that we are necessarily faced with a mistake , but the possibility of having committed it, thus giving us the opportunity to remedy, if still possible, or to learn from the mistake.

Why is it important to learn to properly assess firsthand if we have made a mistake?

Because many people, maybe you too, who knows, have learned from an early age how to leverage the infamous “sense of guilt” to achieve their goals.

Think of a baby crying out loud, screaming to the point of almost losing his voice. And the parent who, gripped by guilt, buys him what he wants, or gives him the cake he asks for.

And the animals?
The house cat or dog staring at you with those big eyes while you’re having dinner?
Are you making a mistake in feeding yourself?
And to decide not to give them leftovers they wouldn’t digest and would do them more harm than good?

It happened to me more than once that my husband said to me, seeing one of our cats do this: “Here you see? Makes you feel guilty! How can you not give him something? Just a little bit! ”.

But we feel the guilt even before making a mistake …

Feeling guilty before making a mistake

By Serena Sironi.

But we can feel guilty even earlier have done something. “First”.

If you think about it, a priori guilt is a powerful weapon that people use to get what they want.
We use it to make others feel guilty by playing on the fact that, usually, no one agrees to make mistakes . It would be too bad!
So we use it as blackmail.

We learn this “trick” from an early age as mentioned.
So you feel guilty not for being wrong, but because you may be wrong. And you feel bad before!

However, not only is the sense of guilt used “a priori” to get what we want, but we also use it to punish others for something they did and didn’t like.

So it ends up next time we won’t feel free to choose because now we know that thing won’t please that person.

“Here, did you see what you did? And now how do I do it? ”
Which means: “It’s all your fault if I find myself in this situation now, try to repair and don’t do it again”.
Do you understand the mechanism?

But what does this emotion tell you?
What to do when you try it?
Let’s move on to phase 2.

All negative emotions come from fear

Fear is the basis of every negative emotion, and it is the one we feel most often, without perhaps recognizing it.

I made an ebook in which I explain what are the 4 roots that feed it and how to eliminate them . You will have several exercises and some stories to change your approach to fear and find that you don’t need it , and you can get to live a life without fear .

• What fear can do to you ( how it stops you).
• Why try it: the 4 roots(claims, addictions, selfishness and mental weakness).
• An exercise for each root.
• Some tests to find out  if you are selfish.
• 2 tests (one really difficult) to understand if you are addicted to someone.
• I’ll explain how you can live a life without fear(showing you what steps you have to take).

I recommend it now because you can never get rid of your negative emotions if you don’t get rid of fear first .

Sense of guilt: understanding what it really tells you [STEP 2]

Guilt brings complaints and insecurity : if I had done that, if I had said that.

But behind all those complaints and insecurities, do you know what you just need? By listening, calm and good sense . You have to think:

• About why you said or did something.
• Evaluate whether something should be done to improve the situation.
• Understand if you put love in saying and doing .
• If a different choice would have really changed things or if everything stops only in a “maybe”.

Reasoning calmly aims not to waste time with unnecessary complaints about what could or should be done. You have three possibilities :

1. If you have acted lovinglywith specific motives and choices, stop thinking about it. And if it’s not that easy, find out how to get rid of negative thoughts from your mind .
2. If, on the other hand, you could have done betterbut now nothing more can be done, you must learn to live the past with serenity as a lesson to do better in the future. On this you can find out how to heal the wounds of the past .
3. If there is something you can do, choose to do it without continuing to complain about what has happened by now. And we will see it shortly.

You can’t press a button to go back, but you can experience the “ Play ” button ” calmly and serenely, looking for solutions, wanting to improve yourself, not being afraid of making mistakes.

Easy to say?
Here is a first approach that can help you change your attitude when you feel guilty.

How not to be paralyzed by guilt

By Alessandra Barigazzi.

What the sense of guilt is was very clear to me this week when a small but substantial novelty arrived at my house: a four-month-old dog and three kilos of weight.

The first two days when I had to leave her at home alone to go to work, I lived very badly the hours that separated me from her: it was as if everything was out of tune, out of place, a little wrong.

Trying to understand my state of mind and its causes in order to get better, I found that the problem was that I felt guilty .

I was thinking about her while I was doing other things and the thought was like: what if she ‘s sick?
What if he barks and the neighbors complain?
What if he becomes a deranged dog?

All questions and problems that I could not have solved at that moment.
Guilt is the thought that something you have done is wrong (sometimes, as mentioned, that you might do).

Something that, at that moment you can not solve .
Something, however, that you could not have done differently, since you did it that way.
Something that is not editable.

Nonetheless, he manages to change your present, to make you live it badly.
By the way, I got information from a dog educator, who assured me that there is nothing wrong with leaving the dog alone for a few hours and that he must get used to my rhythms of life.

The moment I made this reasoning (that is, that I had done my best based on authoritative information and that in any case at that moment I could not change the dog’s situation , but only ruin my day thinking about it) I abandoned the sense of guilt.

As if I had taken an enormous burden off my shoulders.
And as you can see, it is also important to develop self-confidence .

The sense of guilt is like a useless weight that we voluntarily take on ourselves and live by being crushed by it.
Guilt is like a process we go through, but the final judgment never comes .
We remain on trial forever.
It is not a healthy situation.

The best way to understand your emotions and melt them, let them go, is to learn how to use the emotional journal .

The starting point is therefore to understand if you are really wrong . But first avoid falling into the error of thinking “I’m wrong, or wrong” instead of “I was wrong”.

Are you wrong, or are you wrong (or wrong)? [STEP 3]

A friend of mine has a habit of continually apologizing when a mistake is pointed out to him. Indeed, sometimes even if no one tells him anything, he apologizes regardless .

Maybe he gets a compliment, and apologizes for not doing more or otherwise.
Sometimes I asked him: “What exactly are you apologizing for?”
He couldn’t even explain it to me. His is almost an “sorry I exist”.

Knowing how to apologize, to remedy, when you make a mistake, which may have damaged someone, is a very beautiful and important thing. In this regard, you can read the guide on how to be forgiven .

But if you don’t even know what you’re apologizing for, if you haven’t even stopped, or stop, a moment to reflect on what exactly your mistake was, how can you think you can improve yourself and maybe not repeat that mistake next time ?

Do you also know what a big risk there is of misusing guilt?
Going from “I was wrong” to “I am wrong”.
It may seem like a subtle difference, it’s just a verb instead of another, but think about it.

It is one thing to say “I made a mistake, I made a mistake” and identify it precisely .
Yes, because saying “I was wrong” is not enough, it is not useful, for you.
And now we explain how to understand if you are wrong.

Instead, if you say to yourself: “I am” wrong, or wrong, do you know what that means?
It does not simply mean that you have made a mistake, but that you, in your entirety, are a failure , that you have something inherent in you that is wrong, and that it is very difficult to improve or change .

Do you see the abysmal difference?

Yet how many times, perhaps without realizing it, do we allow the sense of guilt to grow out of all proportion within us (perhaps even for a mistake that we have not really committed!) concatenation of thoughts and emotions that alternate in a swirling crescendo, we end up with “I’m good for nothing”.

At that point, what use are we making of an error (if any)? What is the use of convincing ourselves that we are a total failure?

Some people I know torture themselves from the guilt they feel for repeated mistakes. In fact, it happened to me too!

” I always make the same mistakes, I never learn, I’m a mess .”

There too, the absolute best thing you can do is understand .

Understanding why you keep making the same mistake. Evidently you still haven’t untied the knot that led you to commit it the first time.

Or maybe, even if it appears to be the same mistake, if you look closely , it really isn’t and there are new details and new lessons you can learn from it.

If you were wrong, even if you kept making mistakes, there is always a reason .
Don’t judge yourself with guilt, but try to understand.
Always.

Starting with understanding if you really made a mistake, or not .

Feeling Guilty: Are You Really Wrong?

By Giacomo Papasidero.

You must therefore understand if you have made a mistake or not. How do you know?

I’ll explain it to you in this short video, where I also tell you the experience of a girl who considered it wrong, before thinking about it together, to have started the relationship with her ex.

Here are some useful tips to understand if you made a mistake (or are doing it now):

1. From what you consider error, did positive things also come?
2. Going back would you do it again?
3. If you would not do it again (as seen in the video) what positive would it be missing?
4. Do you think it’s a mistake becauseeveryone says it?
5. If everyonethought it a good thing, would it still be a mistake ?
6. Do you think it’s a mistake becauseyou didn’t get what you wanted?
7. If I got a big advantagefrom that mistake tomorrow , would it still be a mistake?
8. Is this something you would like to receive from others?

Think carefully about these questions and what I explained in the video.

Often the things we consider mistakes are things that were fine, only maybe managed better, with more wisdom or maturity, with more awareness.

But these are not things that in themselves constitute a mistake .
Look carefully at this point, it is essential in the sense of guilt.

What if you are really wrong?
Let’s see what you can do.

How much is 20 minutes worth?

I have created a training program with which, in just 20 minutes a day , you will learn how to deal with any situation without getting hurt anymore .

Only 20 minutes to eliminate the suffering . Do you think this is worth 20 minutes of your time ? If you’re interested, find out about my schedule and let’s start your training right away.

Find out how it works ⇒

I Feel Guilty: How to Deal With Your Mistake

By Gianluca Soffietti.

If I realize that I have made a mistake it is important to understand that the mistake does not qualify my person in a definitive way.

I felt guilty for having betrayed the trust of a friend for example.

Each of us can make a mistake. It is important not to judge yourself, not to condemn yourself but it is important to UNDERSTAND by asking yourself questions:

• Why did I betray the trust?
• What happened?
• What did I think?

If I think, I understand and I can commit myself for the future to avoid repeating the same mistake.

If I become aware of this, I can understand myself, I am a human being and I can be wrong. Then I can ask for forgiveness from the person whose trust I have betrayed, for example.

It is also important to be aware that the other person is at the same time free not to accept the apology and not to forgive . My work to understand must not stop even in these cases.

The next step in understanding why I made the mistake and asking for forgiveness is understanding how my mistake can be remedied .

If I break a person’s item, I can ask for forgiveness and buy it back.

If I have made a mistake that I cannot repair, such as when I betray a friend’s trust, I apologize, I try to be close to that person ( without imposing it and if it allows me to) and I commit myself for the future to be loyal.

If I feel guilty I try to do this:

1. I try to understand if I have made a mistakeand I ask myself for example: would I have liked to receive those words?
2. I try to understand why I made the mistake. Everyone can make mistakes and above all the mistake does not qualify my person forever. I can act differently, I can forgive myself and ask for forgiveness. This is also important if the other person is not ready or does not want to forgive me.
3. I try to fix the mistakewhere possible or try to be close and commit myself not to repeat the mistake.

At this point you may also have a better understanding of how to interact with those who suffer the negative consequences of your mistakes. Before I recommended the guide on how to be forgiven , I think it is useful if you have not read it yet.

So far we have seen that guilt arises if you think you are wrong and that people often use it as a “weapon of manipulation”. And you can feel guilty not only for an ( alleged ) mistake made, but also for future mistakes you may make.

Let’s move on to step 4: how to handle your mistakes , especially if they are serious?

Change your life in 30 days

If you are reading my site, you want to change your life.

A little, a lot, completely , but you want some changes.

So I created a real practical manual (in digital format) that will guide you to change your life almost without realizing it.

The 10 simple steps that I will advise you to take every day will be small gestures, gradual and easy to carry out , but capable of changing the way you face life, with its challenges and problems.

Together with the manual you will also download the Checklist , which is a tool that will help you constantly check if you are putting into practice each of the 10 steps.

In addition, for each of the 10 simple steps , you will have practical advice, insights, answers to the questions I have received most often from those who have already tried this method and my direct experience with examples and personal anecdotes .

Try the 10 simple steps for a month and see how easy it can be to start changing your life.

If you subscribe to my newsletter you can download it immediately and for free .

I want the newsletter and the free manual

I accept the processing of my data according to the privacy rules

How to manage errors (even serious and irreparable) [PHASE 4]

By Serena Sironi.

The fact is, we think that being wrong is wrong .
But is it really?

Only by changing this rule can we really stop dragging along with the sense of guilt.

Yes, because ” wrong to make mistakes ” is just a rule.
But do you really think it’s possible not to make mistakes? And how do you think you have learned everything you can do now if you were never wrong?

As you can see, making mistakes is not wrong . It is this rule that traps us, so we need to change it.
As?

The first step is to build on mistakes to learn.
After all, we have always done it, but perhaps we have not noticed.

Think of the usual, but not trivial, example of the child learning to walk.

He falls and gets up, then falls and gets up. And again, and again … Until, finally, he learns to walk. Each time it improves by learning from the previous time and building on one’s mistakes.

Learning from mistakes allows us to become better people , if we avoid stopping to complain!

The point is in figuring out what we did wrong and adjusting the game for next time.
At that point we will improve, situation by situation, by changing what is wrong, what could be done better or otherwise.
Thanks to mistakes, each successive time will be better than the previous one in endless growth.

Do you understand how important mistakes are?

Yes, you will tell me, but what if this mistake should have serious and heavy consequences ? Maybe by involving other people and making situations worse?

The truth is, the only thing we can do is evaluate with love and act right .
Will we be wrong?
Yes. It will happen sooner or later.

If you always give the best of yourself, or yourself , you will forgive all your mistakes in the blink of an eye, because you know who you were for at that moment, for what you knew and experience you had, for the evaluations you were in. able to do, you could not have done better.

Do you know how many coaching meetings I have done that, if I could do them again now, I would do completely differently, helping people much more?

But I don’t feel guilty for being wrong.

Without those errors I would not have the knowledge I have now and which, probably, looking back tomorrow, will still seem limited to me, to the point that I could even consider them errors.

However, it may happen that you realize that you have not given your best.

Maybe you didn’t care and let things go the way the case wanted. In order not to struggle, to not commit more than necessary.

But do you know what I think?

If at that moment you were wrong and you didn’t give the best of yourself, or yourself, it’s just because you didn’t know.
Thing?

You didn’t know that giving your best solves a lot of problems , above all you didn’t know that giving your best means living with Love every moment doing what is right and you didn’t know that Loving truly is the only thing that would make you happy.

Understanding ourselves and forgiving ourselves for our mistakes is the second very important step to avoid being cornered by the sense of guilt.

Who were you when you were wrong with the person you are now and who was able to see the error? Do you think you would have done the same if you had had the experiences now?

Be careful because I am speaking in the past tense, but this past could be the past from a second ago.

You may find yourself thinking that you could have gotten there sooner, that you haven’t done enough and only understood after a while.

Never underestimate the value of time, where the experience you need is the one you make instant after instant .
We change all the time and the only real mistake is to stop and cry over spilled milk.

We have to move forward instead, find solutions , learn and build on mistakes.
And if we repeat them it just means that we needed an extra experience. And maybe the next one too. And yet another. Who knows …

But what I always tell you and that I will never tire of repeating is this: if you don’t give up, you can’t lose !
And also go one step further: don’t feel guilt at all .

Before explaining how to get to this, in 3 minutes we summarize in the next video what we have seen so far on the sense of guilt.

How to beat the feelings of guilt (forever) [STEP 5]

By Giacomo Papasidero.

Guilt is perhaps one of the worst negative emotions you can feel then.
You don’t need it to improve, as it just makes you feel bad .
It is of no use to others, because being sick does not improve their life.

And if others are okay with seeing you feel bad … there is something wrong with them ?

So who is it for?
To nobody.

Much better would be to take responsibility for your mistakes and do what you can to remedy (when you can) and to learn the lesson, not repeat that mistake and grow, knowing that it is mistakes that teach us most of the important things we know.

The sense of guilt brings many negative emotions, it leads us not only to think we were wrong, but to feel wrong , it makes us fragile and manipulated by others, it damages our self-esteem by offering us a distorted image of who we are, in short, it can destroy your life.

Not bad for being “just” an emotion.

How can you no longer experience guilt?
All in all it is quite simple, and I’ll tell you how to do it right away.

Start with this assumption: to feel guilty you have to be guilty .
It sounds obvious, but it is important to point this out.

What does that mean? It means you did something wrong.
If you feel guilty it means that you think you have done something wrong.
To be even more precise: you did something that you consider wrong.

I’m not shooting this concept for fun.
I’ll explain.

Usually others are good at instilling guilt by emphasizing our mistakes, scolding us, pointing out that because of our mistakes they are bad.

But if I think I ‘ve done the right thing and have no doubt, no one will ever be able to make me feel guilty . To feel this emotion, you must believe that you are wrong .

Only if others can convince you of this will you feel a sense of guilt.
Otherwise no.
Always remember that your emotions depend on what you think , not what others say. This is called emotional independence .

If they can convince you that you were wrong, you begin to feel guilty.
I repeat: you only try it when you think that what you did was wrong.

And we know that others are good at making us think we were wrong.
And we too, when we commit ourselves ?

So you only feel guilty if you think you’ve done something wrong.
What if you never do anything wrong?
Could you feel guilty without thinking you are guilty?

No, you couldn’t.
So you can erase the guilt simply by not doing things that you think are wrong anymore .
As? Applying a very simple rule that can change your life:

Always and only do what you would like to receive .

Do you know why it works?
Because if you want to receive something, you consider it right and positive.
Otherwise you don’t want it.

If you only do things that you consider right, you certainly won’t think they are wrong.
And you will no longer feel guilty if you only ever do the things you think are right.

Whatever others say, if you know you’ve done it right, you won’t feel guilty anymore .
Remember that in order to feel guilty you have to do something that you think is wrong.
Which you think is wrong.

If, on the other hand, you only ever do things that you think are right , no more guilt.
As you see, it’s simple .

Just love.
Yes, loving means always doing only what you would like to receive.

Obviously, loving is not so trivial as a choice, and doing what you would like to receive must be understood as a principle rather than as individual actions .

To understand it better, I suggest you read the page where I explain what it means to love .

Remember this: feeling guilty is useless and can destroy you, it is one of the most powerful and harmful negative emotions we are capable of feeling.

To experience it, however, you must think that you have done something wrong.
It doesn’t matter what others say, it matters if you start thinking it .

To become immune from guilt, therefore, you just need to always and only do things that you consider right .
If you do nothing that you think is wrong, you will no longer feel guilty about what you did.

Obviously consider that others, even if you do the right thing, may not share it, may not like it, and may still try to make you feel guilty.

This is why it is essential that you always do what you think is right, that you are aware if the things you think are right are really right, and that you have the strength not to be influenced by others .

One thing is not right because so many say it.
A thing is right when it is right .
And this not only frees you from guilt, it will make you happy.