The generations that have been raised in abundance have developed a kind of materialistic impatience that leads them to eagerly seek out the latest fashion gadgets and demand instant results. They want it all and they want it now. As a result, many have developed what we could classify as a full-blown intolerance of deprivation.
What is deprivation tolerance?
Living in society fuels the tendency to confront each other. We want to know how well or how badly we are doing compared to others. However, there is a problem with such social comparisons because some people may feel deprived believing they deserve more.
If so, they may develop an intolerance of deprivation, which appears when we view others as unfairly superior to us because they are more successful, happier, have achieved better results, or have better qualities. Deprivation intolerance involves feeling deprived of a desired and deserved outcome relative to a benchmark.
Deprivation tolerance, on the other hand, is the ability to maintain stable psychological functioning, even though we are aware that we lack certain qualities, have not achieved certain goals, or do not possess certain things. It’s a mature response to the fact that we can’t get everything others get, aware that we don’t need it to live fully.
The psychological consequences of intolerance of deprivation
The intolerance of deprivation began to be studied as the gap between rich and poor was widening, especially within deeply unequal societies. The spread of social networks has made this gap even more evident, paving the way for comparisons with apparently perfect lifestyles and ideals that generate intense dissatisfaction in those who do not reach them.
Thus, “frustration intolerance becomes a trap that locks people into negative thought patterns that exacerbate their emotional distress,” as researchers at Memorial University of Newfoundland concluded.
Indeed, a study conducted at the University of California found that frustration intolerance is linked to feelings of anger and resentment, which are particularly difficult to fight and generate a toxic state of mind for oneself. In turn, psychologists at the University of Innsbruck have found that intolerance of deprivation increases affective hostility and encourages aggressive behavior.
Frustration intolerance has also been linked to bad moods, stress, and general malaise. In this sense, another research conducted at Sonoma State University has revealed that the state of intolerance to deprivation predicts a deterioration of mental health in the long term. In fact, it has been related to both depressive symptoms and anxiety. In the case of depression, the intolerance of deprivation triggers a series of automatic negative thoughts about oneself. In the case of generalized anxiety, it exacerbates worries and a feeling of uncertainty and ambiguity, which increases distress.
Obviously living constantly the feeling of continuous lack, comparing yourself with others feeling constantly bad, is not living. Rather it is a sentence to permanent dissatisfaction. Therefore, we need to adjust our sensitivity threshold to deprivation. Our mental health will thank us.
How to develop tolerance to deprivation?
One of the keys is the belief in a just world . Research has shown that the more we think the world should be a just place, the more intense our intolerance of deprivation can be because we will believe we have a right to have what others have, often without appreciating all the effort or sacrifice behind them. their conquests.
Indeed, for most people, intolerance of deprivation is a deeply subjective experience – unless there is obvious deprivation – which involves feeling inferior to others. Therefore, our sensitivity to deprivation does not depend only on the absence of something – be it a personal quality, a property or a social achievement – but rather on the feeling of injustice and inferiority that this lack triggers.
To better understand this phenomenon, we can see it as a process composed of three stages:
- Social comparison with a specific goal (for example, people who practice the same profession as us) and on a specific outcome (such as material wealth).
- The cognitive evaluation that leads us to believe that we are comparatively at a disadvantage with respect to the referent we have used.
- Feelings of resentment, hostility, and dissatisfaction produced by our conclusions.
This means that two people on exactly the same rung of the social ladder might have very different perceptions of deprivation. For example, two professors in the same department who have the same salary, years of education and service, and number of publications may have different perceptions of social justice that fuel resentment and dissatisfaction. One may feel disadvantaged in other spheres – not having a family or having few friends – because one resorts to other material references for comparison – such as a millionaire friend – or simply because one gives a different affective response to one’s position in society and it is given a different weight.
Therefore, we can break the cycle of dissatisfaction at any stage, either by avoiding comparing ourselves to others, by readjusting our chimerical notion that the world should be a fair place where we are all entitled to everything, or by learning to deal with the emotions that this process generates.
Ultimately, developing a tolerance for deprivation does not mean conforming or submitting, but rather preventing unnecessary comparisons from harming us, to the point that we become obsessed with what we lack and fail to appreciate what we have. Tolerance of deprivation involves developing a mature attitude that understands that we can’t have everything – much less right away – but that it’s also not necessary to live fully and happily. In fact, getting out of that vicious circle will make us much freer and less dependent on others, reaffirming our autonomy and self-determination as unique people.