Going to a psychologist can help you manage difficult times. If you’ve always put off just because you don’t know what to expect and you’re afraid that talking about your problems to someone else might not really help, here’s an article that explains exactly what a first couple’s interview with a specialist consists of.
This article was created thanks to the collaboration with our specialists
Menopause is a transition phase and as such it can be a period of greater vulnerability on a psychological level. For most women this resolves into a few days of particular irritability , episodes of easy crying and a few moments of seemingly unmotivated sadness , a bit like it did during pregnancy. But soon everything passes and there is no reason to worry.
For some women, however, menopause can be more difficult to accept: body changes can become a reason for insecurity, some intimate annoyances can be a source of worry, anxiety and turn into stressful days .
In this post we will talk about:
- If your stress also accentuates the tension in the couple
- When it is necessary to ask for psychological support
- What does couples therapy consist of?
- Mind and body are part of the same ecosystem
If your stress also accentuates the tension in the couple
In this moment , your and your partner’s ability to build a peaceful and complicit relationship during the previous years will be an important element that will allow you to manage your disorders in a more relaxed way. The Couplepause or torque menopause , is a reality for science.
But not all couples are the same, not all love stories are the same and sometimes big personal changes – such as the arrival of a child or menopause – can give a highlighter shot to some hitherto unspoken problem. or latent .
This mechanism is quite normal and frequent. But even in this case the solution is there and it is linked to your ability to see the problem and take the first step to manage or solve it, taking care of it.
The couples therapy in menopause can be a valuable tool to overcome these difficult times and find understanding. Sometimes it’s a decision that takes a little bit of courage. But you are a mature woman, and it is time to strip yourself of your insecurities and fears about external judgments.
When it is necessary to ask for psychological support
In the most serious cases, that is, when psychological distress affects the daily ménage and affects the quality of life, compromising the couple’s life, it can be important to ask for psychological support .
In fact, overcoming a couple crisis alone after the age of 50 can be complicated because after so many years together the habit, the prejudice or the fear of “getting back on the game” can be emotions that scare more than the idea of spending time enduring tensions and discontent.
To this state of affairs can be added the fact that a woman in menopause often has to deal with the changes in intimacy that the climacteric brings with it: the decrease in desire or pain during intercourse can appear at this stage. of your life and thus the idea of changing course and taking care of your desire to love by returning to do it as you see fit, could give way to the most classic of excuses: “I am no longer old” .
But are you really sure of this?
What does couples therapy consist of?
If you feel that the right thing to do is retrieve the relationship with the partners, the couples therapy at menopause may be a suitable location. If you are afraid of being faced with something that makes you uncomfortable, know that a couple meeting is nothing more than an interview in an informal setting with a psychologist or psychotherapist in order to analyze this from a different point of view. that is happening .
The first meeting is a way to get to know each other and to understand if it is really necessary to face a couple therapy path , then the frequency of the meetings and some objectives to be achieved is eventually established .
What is important – and that the therapist will also take care to remember – is that any physical discomfort , even if it is embarrassing for you or seems irrelevant, must be addressed with the help of a specialist: a gynecologist experienced in menopause who will be able to identify a specific treatment for you, for your body and for your troubles, helping you to return to the woman you love to be .
Mind and body are part of the same ecosystem
When you feel that there is something that begins to creak in the couple relationship , the awareness of how hard it will be to change the status quo can lead you to desist from any intention to “do something” and the best solution may seem to hold your nose and go on despite everything.
But… if you don’t change the addends, the result will always be the same. The concept that we would like to pass on is that when there is something wrong – and it can also be a passing sensation of yours, of course – it is always better to talk about it , with your partner, with a specialist, with a friend: it doesn’t matter. . What is really important is to let this discomfort come out, put it on the plate to try to look at it from the outside, getting help from another pair of eyes.
It could be your body that has changed that is causing you a “closure”, perhaps some too much roundness that you have not been able to dispose of since you are in menopause . So would you rather not-do and continue to softly bear your discomfort, or search for a dietician’s number and go on the attack with a healthier lifestyle for you?
Your discomfort may also depend on the difficulties in intimate relationships or, even, in the fact of not sharing intimacy for a long time . Talking to someone about it can be embarrassing, but it needs to be done, especially if it makes you uncomfortable. And above all: would you prefer to continue living with anxiety, not knowing what it can be to create these problems and be doing nothing, hoping that it will pass, or make an appointment with the gynecologist as soon as possible?
Words such as vaginal dryness or Vulvo Vaginal Atrophy are almost always silenced at home, out of shame or prejudice: despite the fact that in recent years there is much talk about them, some women are still convinced that in menopause it is normal to give a “stop” to intimate life . But this is not the case: sexual health is important at all ages, and even in menopause it is essential to rediscover the intimacy of the couple also through an open and sincere dialogue with the partner .
Mind and body are part of the same ecosystem and if there is something wrong on one side, it will inevitably reflect on the other. Take care of yourself completely . You will see that the serenity will also return to your heart .