Meeting the parents will largely determine the future microclimate in a large family. Will the mother-in-law become a second mother or the reason for divorce? Will your chosen one’s father rather approvingly pat his son on the shoulder or advise him to stay away from you? We tell you how to make the most favorable impression on your man’s parents.
Don’t be late
Allowed yourself to be late for more than 30 minutes? Know that neither a modest appearance nor a charming smile will save you. The parents of the potential groom will most likely favorably accept any excuse, even a meeting with a strict boss, or the lack of parking nearby. But the first impression will be hopelessly spoiled. It is worth arriving at the meeting early if it is really important to you.
Relax
It is absolutely normal to worry. And in a sense, this is even a compliment to his parents, a demonstration of your serious attitude towards their son. So, there is no point in hiding your emotions, let go of the situation and relax. Otherwise, there is a risk of seeming insincere, constrained and emotionless. Remember that you are dealing with future relatives, not a jury. Enjoy the conversation!
Speak
Silence is golden, but not this time. Your job is to make it clear what kind of person you are, and to do that, it’s important to take part in the conversation. If you’re uncomfortable talking about yourself for too long, don’t be shy about asking the groom’s parents. How did they meet? Or maybe they have a photo album from their youth? The main thing is not to overdo it: if the old photo album doesn’t inspire you at all, it will be problematic to believably feign interest.
Don’t be picky
It’s better to keep the air that’s too dry, the olives in your salad that you hate, and other minor details to yourself. The exception is a serious allergy, but if your boyfriend’s parents are expecting you at home, ask your significant other to warn them about it. It will be awkward if you can’t try most of the dishes that his mother has painstakingly prepared. Try not to focus on what you don’t eat, but rather ask for more of the dish that you liked.
Find a reason to compliment
Don’t overdo it with flattery – you don’t want to seem like a liar and a manipulator. But extreme honesty is not what is required of you. Be diplomatic. But be sure to find a reason for praise and sincere admiration. If something impressed you, don’t forget to tell your interlocutors about it. This will evoke reciprocal sympathy and set them in a positive mood.
Support the man
Baby photos are, of course, cute, but if your lover is uncomfortable, you should not play along with his parents. Remember that your man will also draw his own conclusions based on the results of the meeting. Your support will be especially necessary for a guy if his mother and father spend the whole evening telling him what a loser he is and how he surprised them by bringing a decent girl home. You can’t choose your parents, and relationships are different. You will have to live with a man, not with his relatives, so don’t try to be friends against him in the hope of gaining his parents’ approval.
Be tactful
Remember that the guy’s parents are from a different, usually more conservative generation. Leave the “naked” dress and trendy shorts-panties for wild parties; to meet the parents, we recommend dressing modestly, but moderately smartly. Say, as if you were celebrating your birthday in an office with a strict dress code. Let your image demonstrate respect for the event and its participants. This also applies to manners: no kisses on the ear or erotic overtones during family conversations.
Stay yourself
If you are in a lifelong relationship, you will meet the guy’s parents more than once. So pretending to be someone you are not is absolutely pointless, the deception will be revealed anyway. You don’t have to be perfect to make a good impression, just like you don’t have to reveal all your sins at the first meeting. Focus on your positive qualities and back them up with interesting stories. And it’s better to answer possible tricky questions with a joke – time will put everything in its place.