Marriage is a daily learning process, where husband and wife are always learning from each other. Many define it as a mystery and even the most brilliant minds do not have the power to fully understand it. In marriage it is necessary that both are able to invest and donate, always focusing on what is best for the couple and not for one.
But we can see around us that many marriages end because the spouses are still governed and deceived by some myths and not by the truth. There are people who believe that they have to find the perfect person in order to get married and even if they are in a lasting relationship, they do not value the couple as being that person, who in fact does not exist and will never exist for the simple reason that we are not perfect.
Not to mention that this is an idea that leads us to believe that we are perfect and our spouse is the one who should suit us and that is a huge mistake in the relationship between two. Another point that leads to the end of a marriage is to believe that if the person on your side loves you, then you will never be attracted to someone else.
With that many end up neglecting their appearance, making the spouse end up appreciating the beauty of others. It is necessary to understand that love has to be watered constantly, as this is part of the well-cultivated relationship . It is important to know that women are attracted to what they hear and men to what they see. This means that men must pay attention to his words and women take great care of their appearance.
For a lasting and happy marriage , it is part that the woman always captivates her husband and he must always win over his wife. It is essential to pay attention to these points, because any carelessness with this can be fatal to the stability of the union. Many husbands and wives cling to the fact that their spouse married knowing what they were like, so they believe they will never want them to change.
This is a lie, everyone wants people around them to change and always for the better and with a husband or wife it is no different. It is necessary that both are very willing to change, otherwise they will put the relationship in danger, which will affect the couple’s happiness. Every day we have to be able to change, since we are not like a finished mold and that every day we make ourselves equal.
Also read :
- 10 attitudes that end any relationship
• 10 reasons why people don’t end bad relationships
It is essential not to suffocate the spouse because nobody is happy in marriage if they lose their individuality, because nobody can feel comfortable being suffocated. It is worth knowing that the union of two is formed by a man and woman from different universes, so the idea of soul mates is a mistaken idea. However, the differences exist to enrich the couple, complement the marital relationship.
But what about the wedding myths? Find out here what they are and how to get rid of them.
There are many myths about marriage that singles need to know. This is because if they believe they are true, they can lead them to marital separation.
1. Too much intimacy can lead to divorce: (false)
People who believe that too much intimacy can ruin a relationship are people who prefer to be in a relationship where the hidden becomes an achievement between the couple. However, for experts, one thing has nothing to do with the other, as the couple can always find emotional and sexual satisfaction when they become very intimate.
It is important to always consider common sense to make living more intimate in a positive and pleasant way. Have you ever imagined the wife struggling to wake up before the husband to get dressed and do his hygiene so that he never sees her disheveled and without makeup? What ruins a relationship is the lack of respect, without realizing the limit on what is accepted and what bothers the other.
2. As soon as I get married, I change in him / her what bothers me: (false)
During the dating phase, the couple meets at times, that is, they are not together under one roof. Generally, these encounters are limited to activities that give pleasure to both, such as a cinema, a stroll, dinner, among others and with that both want to enjoy the moment, believing that after the wedding they will have a lot of time to change their partner, shaping him as you wish.
However, after the wedding, both end up dedicating themselves to other activities, such as children, work and household chores, and if they were unable to change something when they were still single, that is, when they had more time to dedicate to each other, in marriage it is much more difficult.
Understand that old habits, temperaments and values are not easy things to change in anyone. Through marriage it is possible to show each other what is bothering the other, but there is no way to demand that the other change without leading to a fight or discussion. The tip for this case is to try to change ourselves, molding ourselves to the customs of the other to avoid a fight and see if we can live with these defects. (Is it possible to change a man?)
3. Never sleep in a fight: (false)
Of course, problems must be resolved as quickly as possible so as not to turn into a snowball, but care must be taken not to try to solve a problem with a hot head and end up making the situation worse.
It is worth knowing that not all situations must be resolved at the same time, but it may be better to digest what happened and after the emotional reaction has passed and you understand more clearly everything that happened, the conversation will be more productive.
4. Son holds the relationship: (false)
If that were true, there wouldn’t be so many children born to single or divorced parents, don’t you think? It is a fact that what strengthens the love bond is the preparation that the couple gives to deal with the arrival of a child, where both have the same view on motherhood and fatherhood. A couple can never give the responsibility of their union and happiness to a child.
A child requires a couple’s time that will never be invested in the relationship of two, so it is necessary that the couple adopt a common life plan before the arrival of a child. A son brings the couple closer together when they both achieve this goal in common.
5. No matter what happens, we will keep the flame burning with passion: (false)
Which couple can return to their first love? Maintaining the same relationship pattern of the first few weeks together is impossible. What the couple can do is maintain quality, motivation and balance in the relationship, as they all offer ups and downs.
Everything in life undergoes changes, especially in sexual relations, where the couple needs to focus on creating moments that can stimulate them, but the risk of not always working out is enormous.
6. Both must agree to make any decision: (true)
It is essential to know that giving in is not giving up your values, but it is taking an intelligent attitude for the good of the union. No matter how similar the couple is, there will always be times when one disagrees with the other and convincing each other to change their opinion can result in conflicts and generate even a disrespectful moment.
The biggest mistake that most leads the couple to a serious fight is the fact that they always give in and when it explodes, they lose their reason and end up turning the situation into a fight. Thus, the risk of the relationship failing is immense, because when one gives in, both need to be aware that respect must always prevail.
7. Accept each other’s shortcomings for a lasting relationship: (true)
Know that everyone has their defects, where some have more than others. The dating period exists for the couple to get to know each other and learn to live with each other. So in this period the couple needs to discuss everything they don’t accept in each other. The biggest problem is that many of the defects only appear when there is coexistence and this can affect the other a lot.
Remember that communication is essential to avoid major problems, where the couple always needs to discuss a change of habit so that it does not become something big enough to cause a separation.