What can we do when someone treats us with contempt? Why can these attitudes occur? Discover the keys to understanding and dealing with it.
Contempt in relationships can manifest itself in many ways: in the form of sarcasm, derision, malicious humor and even malicious attitudes. All of this does nothing but further damage the relationship, in addition to having a negative impact on theself-esteemor the well-being of the other person. In fact, treating your partner or anyone else with contempt will only lead to more conflict or even an emotional disconnection with the other. But what to do when faced with this attitude?
What does it mean to treat a person with contempt?
When we talk about despising a person , we are referring to different attitudes that can make the other person feel inferior or inadequate. Unlike complaining about the actions of the partner, contempt goes further and involves a criticism treated in a derogatory way. In many cases, contempt involves having negative thoughts about a person or partner for a long period of time. Therefore, if there are signs of contempt in your relationship, it is very likely that there are conflicts to be resolved.
My partner treats me with contempt: why is it dangerous?
It should be noted that contempt is very dangerous in relationships , as it destroys all the foundations of respect, affection and admiration within the relationship. This happens because contempt places the partner as an opponent instead of forming a team in which both value each other. In the long term, an attitude of contempt in a relationship can lead to a defensive and negative reaction from the other person. In addition, it can have psychological effects, affecting self-esteem.
What’s Behind Contempt? Signs It’s Ruining Your Relationship
There are some signs that might indicate that contempt is damaging your relationship as a couple, friendship or family. When this happens, it can mean that you feel less affection, admiration or even respect towards your partner. In other words, you start to not appreciate or value their opinions. With this in mind, some examples of contempt that can occur in a relationship are as follows:
- Disrespect: Not treating someone with respect involves both physical and verbal signals. For example, it could mean that you do not give the benefit of the doubt and that you interpret the intentions and behaviors of the other in a very negative way. These attitudes can lead to a loss of trust, admiration and mutual appreciation.
- Competition: Instead of seeing the other person as an ally, you see them as a competitor. This means trying to gain power or outdo the other person in different areas of your life, such as work, family, finances, etc. In fact, if the other person has something to celebrate, you are very likely to resent, minimize, or ignore this fact.
- Constant Criticism: If criticism and correction dominate a relationship, it can create a dynamic in which one person speaks condescendingly or criticizes the other’s character or personality. This can create a lack of freedom or authenticity within the relationship.
- Disrespectful Body Language: Making faces or transmitting negative body language to your partner or a person while talking is a sign of disrespect that can cause discomfort to the other person. Even gestures such as paying more attention to the phone while talking to the other person can be a sign of disrespect.
These are some of the attitudes or words that may indicate that someone is treating you with contempt . Taking this into account, it is important to address the situation appropriately andset limits.
How to deal with those you despise?
You can deal with other people’s contempt by keeping the following tips in mind:
- Start with small changes: Instead of reacting defensively to the other person’s behavior, try talking about it. If there is an attitude, behavior, or words that made you feel devalued, point it out by expressing your feelings and emotions.
- Don’t act defensively : One of the first reactions when someone treats you with contempt is to act defensively. Instead of having this reaction, try to understand why the other person reacts this way towards you.
- Cultivate affection and admiration: These two attitudes and feelings are fundamental to improving many aspects of your relationship. When faced with an attitude of contempt, value yourself and above all remind the other person of all the affection and mutual admiration. This may also imply dedicating more time to taking care of the relationship and the bond.
- Seek therapist advice: In many cases, contempt can lead to harmful behaviors. If you feel that you cannot handle the situation and that it is limiting you, it is importantcontact a professional psychologist.
If both people are motivated and willing to improve the relationship, the contempt is likely to disappear with time and work. In fact, contempt should not be present in any healthy relationship .