Perpetually immersed in a cloud of information, too involved in the context (the people next to us, their worries, tasks, and so on) we have perhaps lost the ability to be alone with ourselves . According to Michael Harris, author of “ Solitude: in pursuit of a singular life in a crowded world ”, we should instead make a local mind trying to recover the values of solitude.
Being alone with ourselves provides us with the opportunity to deal with everything that stresses us, worries us and does not make us feel calm. In fact, a moment just for us is what we need when we are particularly stressed and agitated.
This is because listening to ourselves, understanding what we are feeling and self-analyzing our psychological state allows us to put our life in order . Allowing ourselves a moment of our own on the one hand brings us back in tune with who we are and with our goals, on the other hand it allows us to reset and “purify ourselves” of everything around us.
How to learn to love solitude and live well in the company of yourself
How to be able to indulge in solitude
Very often we have a lot of things to do and it seems like we don’t have enough time for ourselves. In reality, 15 minutes can be enough: let’s wake up in the morning or give ourselves a moment after dinner.
We can try to seclude ourselves in a quiet room, or even go out for a walk alone. We can also choose to meditate or to take a pen and paper to vent everything we think in black and white.
Each of us can find the way that best suits our habits to allow ourselves a short time face to face with our “I” , that part of us that – if not taken care of – leads us to useless troubles.
The apparent limits of loneliness
Sometimes the idea of being alone can scare us, especially if we are not well. This is because we think we need outside help to cope with our difficulties.
But it is precisely in the moments when we are alone that we discover how strong we are, how many skills we have to solve the moments that try us most.
When we are with others we value their point of view and we give them responsibility for our well-being, but it is only by going within ourselves that we discover what brings us to the serenity we need.
Loneliness and self-esteem
The ability to be alone is often a question of self-esteem. And just as you can work on self-esteem to increase it (throughout your life), loneliness can also be “learned”.
You can start by learning to appreciate the little pleasure of doing something on your own, perhaps something you never thought you could do on your own. The discovery of succeeding, and indeed of obtaining an unexpected pleasure from it, is fuel for our self-esteem.