Sexologist – When to look for this professional?

Sexologist is the health professional specialized in human sexology. It may be a psychiatrist, couple therapist or psychologist who has had technical training in the area of ​​sexuality, sexology, sexual dysfunction, among others.

Although Brazil is a country known for sexual freedom and diversity, many people are still ashamed to talk about sex. Therefore, this ends up being reflected in the quality of the relationships within the room. For this reason, prejudice against sexologists – or sex therapists – remains high among couples.

Contrary to what many people think, sexologist is no consultation with a gynecologist. It is also not therapy about how to stop having a monogamous relationship, for example. There is no nudity or any form of sexual contact.

It is just a traditional psychotherapy session , where it is possible to talk openly about your desires, problems, and discomfort related to sex . Everyone has had plumbing or a problem with four walls. After all, let’s be honest: having a good sex, having good sex, is hard work.

Young newlyweds usually have problems like deciding who takes the first step, what is exciting for one or the other, and when to have sex (morning? At night? Always at the same time?).

Already couples with small children are always tired. Difficulties arise in maintaining the relationship with two with the same intensity, which ends up bringing hurt and resentment to the relationship. While couples together for a long time are dealing with other problems, such as menopause, andropause, old resentments, or other factors that can distance a couple in bed and erase sexual desire .

But after all, what is a sexologist?

The sexologist helps couples to talk about sex with each other. Nothing is off limits and nothing is taboo to speak, since most people have a hard time talking and exposing anything when it comes to sex.

Men and women do not talk to their friends about sexual appetite, how to climax or problems in the bedroom. No other health professional has more specialized training to talk about this subject inside the office, not even gynecologists and urologists.

Sexologists are aware of the nervousness and anxiety that can affect the patient when talking about strangers and even to their partner about their sexuality . He knows how to welcome the patient, making him more comfortable with his own sexuality. Sometimes helping to discover things that not even the patient was aware of.

The sexologist helps to get to the root of the problem. Couples alone are often unable to resolve these intimate problems on their own. Often, disappointment, hurt, anger, resentment, accusations, inhibition and several rounds of fights can end the most necessary discussion.

The fear of confronting the problem and discovering that they are not truly compatible is so powerful that they delay the possibility of bringing pleasure back to the couple. Most of the time, it is in sex therapy that they find a way to feel more pleasure and more joy .

But how does a consultation with a Sexologist work?

Usually, the therapist’s primary goal is to find out what the individual’s primary problem is. Their complaints, their troubles and desires.

Usually an initial interview is conducted, where questions are asked about your sexual history. In addition, other details can be explored, such as about your childhood , your parents’ marriage and what they taught you directly and indirectly about sex.

First, it is necessary to know how each patient’s relationship with sex is, before understanding what the problem is in the relationship with the partner. The service can be individual, but it can also work well together, as a couple therapy.

During the sessions, the main points that the patient misses in their relationship will be worked out:

  • If it is frequency;
  • Emotional connection;
  • Absence of enthusiasm;

From there, some “homework” can be pointed out. In therapy with an  online sexologist , this meeting takes place through online forms and video calling. There are also texts and website links that can help the subject or the couple, both to identify the problem and for new suggestions for activities in pairs.

The duration of the sexual therapy, that is, the meeting with the sexologist, depends on the questions that will be discussed during the meetings, or what are the “problems” presented. There are issues that can last only one or two sessions, while others, such as trauma and abuse stories, for example, do not necessarily have a definite time for meetings.

Typically, these problems are divided into three groups:

  1. Sexual orientation problems – For example, a young woman does not know how to have an orgasm , usually takes two sessions or less. The premature ejaculation is easily resolved before resentment install. There are doubts and questions that are easy to solve, but if they are not, they can cause problems and difficulties in the person’s sexual life for the rest of their lives.
  2. Sexual problems in the relationship – most couples I see have sexual problems tied in the knot of their power struggle with each other. Sex serves as a perfect battleground for resolving deeper questions about how close each of them wants to feel and how much autonomy they want to receive in marriage or partnership. This usually takes at least 15 weeks – 6 months and involves marriage counseling or couple counseling as well.
  3. Trauma, stories of childhood abandonment or abuse – sexual problems resulting from these issues can take years to resolve. Not every person who has been molested needs years or therapy to have a happy sex life . However, some do, depending on who the perpetrator was, how long it lasted and whether violence was involved. Feelings of sexual death are often a defensive pattern to never trust another with primitive needs and often need longer therapeutic treatment.

Finally, what problems does the sexologist actually help solve?

Among the female complaints are:

  • Women who want to have their first orgasm; or want to orgasm with the partner;
  • Anorgasmia (the woman cannot reach orgasm either in masturbation or with her partner);
  • Dyspareunia : pain in the genital during the sexual act;
  • Vaginismus : involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles preventing or hindering penetration;
  • Hypoactive Sexual Desire: lack of complete desire or decrease in sexual activity;
  • Overcome the feelings of “disgust” about different sexual acts;
  • Breast cancer survivors.

Among the main male complaints are:

  • Erectile Dysfunction : inability to keep the penis rigid until the end of sexual activity;
  • Premature ejaculation ;
  • Prostate cancer survivors;
  • Addiction to pornography or addiction to sex;
  • Boring sex life ;
  • You are not attracted to your partner;
  • Absence of libido;
  • Fetishes .

Online Sexologist

If you’ve read this far, and you’re still ashamed to talk about your sexuality and your difficulties in bed, a great option may be online care.

Consultations are carried out with complete discretion, without having to go to an office. The forms can be answered online and the quality of the consultation is guaranteed, even if remotely.

It is clear how patients open up more easily because they are not in direct contact with the sexologist. So often, the result is even faster – depending on the problem, of course. Today, with access to the internet and all the information, it is much easier to get help and have a healthy sex life, as you have always dreamed of.

When to look for a sexologist?

Despite the identification only with the word sex, pleasure is something that encompasses life as a whole. A person without pleasure in his affective life, may present feelings of dissatisfaction and inadequacy in his daily life. At this point, the most recommended thing to do is to look for a sexologist and start a sexual therapy process.

Who to look for?

The most common is that the professionals who treat dysfunctions are in the field of medicine or psychology, as these two professions have knowledge to treat physical and psychological diseases.

With the advancement of technology, looking for a sexologist online has been the option of many people, especially for the ease, confidentiality and comfort of the client.

 

by Abdullah Sam
I’m a teacher, researcher and writer. I write about study subjects to improve the learning of college and university students. I write top Quality study notes Mostly, Tech, Games, Education, And Solutions/Tips and Tricks. I am a person who helps students to acquire knowledge, competence or virtue.

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