We are all eager to have a moment for ourselves, to take care of ourselves and pamper ourselves, something that should be common, but instead, the most normal thing is that the phrase “I’m always there for everyone except myself” is more common to you, because It’s time to change it, you can’t go on like this.
And it is that generally adults focus a lot on caring for the people who are around us, mainly those who depend on us such as daughters and sons, older adults among others; however, we forget to take care of ourselves, this being an action that we should not overlook, because self-care is not a luxury, it is a priority. Also, loving yourself is not shameful, nor narcissistic, nor selfish, quite the opposite.
And it is that true self-care happens in silence and from within you, because self-care is listening to yourself, trusting yourself, holding hands and moving forward listening to yourself.
But with today’s fast-paced life, people hardly have time to find space between work, family and friends. So many of us do not even consider the fact that sometimes it is necessary to devote time and attention to oneself, to reserve a space for that little healthy “egoism” that can do us a lot of good.
Does all this sound familiar to you? Have you ever seen yourself in that situation? If the answer is yes, in this week’s post I explain one of the most valuable tools for you to start feeling better about yourself and, also, improve your relationship with others, learning to face your day to day in a conscious way. and happy. Because you have to be clear that self-care is an option that only you can decide to carry out, no one can do it for you. You are the person responsible for your well-being.
It is the set of all those tasks and habits that we have discovered are beneficial and we have decided to include them in our routine, with the aim of dedicating time to ourselves and, thus, improving our physical and mental health.
Content of this topic
- What is self care?
- What types of self-care are there?
- Physical self-care:
- Emotional self-care:
- Social self-care:
- Cognitive self-care:
- How can self-care improve your quality of life?
- Advantages of self-care
- What prevents you from taking care of yourself?
- Tips for applying self-care
- Consult with a professional
- Don’t miss my tips!
What is self care?
As a general rule, self-care has to do with taking care of ourselves.
So we can define self-care as the practice of activities that we must carry out in favor of ourselves to maintain life, health and individual well-being . In other words, it is the set of all those tasks and habits that we have discovered to be beneficial and have decided to include them in our routine, with the aim of dedicating time to ourselves and, thus, improving our physical and mental health.
So you have to be very clear about the fact that everything starts with understanding that no one is going to come to take care of you, but that you must be the one who, consciously and actively , make decisions aimed at improving your state of health, both physical as mental.
There are different forms of self-care to take into account, physical, emotional, social and cognitive.
What types of self-care are there?
There are different forms of self-care to consider:
Physical self-care:
It would consist of understanding your body as your home and thus you will give it the care it deserves. It is based on giving your body what it needs at all times and respecting its times by covering its basic needs.
Emotional self-care:
Stop to think about what you feel, what you think… accept your emotions and manage them properly to connect with yourself, with your interior.
Social self-care:
We are social beings and as such this part of us cannot be neglected. Surround yourself with those people who give you positive experiences and respect you. It is about sharing those things that you want to do with the people who will best accompany you.
Cognitive self-care:
It consists of improving the way you talk to yourself, in the thoughts you have about yourself and your life, this will provide you with well-being as long as you treat yourself with kindness and respect. Choosing activities that keep your mind active also refers to this type of self-care, things like learning a new language, reading a book.
And it is that through small and simple actions you can improve your state of mind , your relationship with others and the way you deal with everyday problems
How can self-care improve your quality of life ?
The first thing I would like to highlight in relation to self-care is that, in addition to improving your physical and mental state , self-care can help improve your quality of life or prevent illnesses, both physical and mental, and even recover before them.
But you have to know that learning to take care of yourself requires a previous exercise in self-knowledge, so you will have to start thinking about what you need and what helps you feel better, and once you are aware of this, you will be able to get to know yourself better and, for example, you will know what you need when you feel anxious , stressed, nervous or need to rest.
In addition, another advantage that self-care offers you is that you will have the possibility of incorporating new habits or hobbies into your life that make you feel good.
And it is that through small and simple actions you can improve your mood , your relationship with others and the way you deal with everyday problems. In addition, you will notice that your attitude towards life will be much better and you will enjoy more pleasant moments.
Finally, it is worth highlighting the fact that by increasing the capacity for self-care, we also increase other important factors of mental health , such as self-esteem , a basic pillar for our mental health. As you can see, dedicating time to ourselves has many positive aspects about our quality of life.
In short, self-care necessarily involves being able to identify your needs and how to respond to them.
Also, learning to take care of yourself is a way to improve your relationship with yourself and know what you need to do to feel better.
Advantages of self-care
Learning to take care of yourself will make you take responsibility for your health and well-being, not needing the outside to take care of you. For this reason, having self-care routines in your day to day can help you have more resources to feel good about yourself.
Also, learning to take care of yourself is a way to improve your relationship with yourself and know what you need to do to feel better. Therefore, when you start taking care of yourself, there are many benefits that you get, including:
- Improve your self-esteem: Self-care will allow you to reaffirm your identity as a person, making you feel a more valid and better being with yourself.
- Improve your relationship with others: Thanks to the actions you take to take care of yourself, you will have more patience and, above all, a greater desire to enjoy
- Your state of health will thank you: your feeling of tiredness or muscle aches or headaches will decrease.
- Your relationship as a couple will benefit: you will be happier and more communicative.
- You will face everyday problems with better spirits and renewed energy: self-care will not make you invincible, but it can help you face life with a different and more positive attitude.
- Improve your productivityyour concentration will be greater in each activity, you will reduce the stress in your day to day by having more time for yourself and in this way the time you dedicate to work or obligations will be much more productive.
With all these advantages, it is worth putting it into practice and not keep making excuses, don’t you think? But at this point I ask you the following question, what prevents you from taking care of yourself?
And it is that there are many people who, as may be your case, spend too many hours of the day busy and infected by the speed of time, have stressful jobs or are too consumed by technology, so spending time is not within your plans.
What prevents you from taking care of yourself ?
It is true that today the usual thing is that you have a very fast, dynamic and changing pace of life. And it is that there are many people who, as may be your case, spend too many hours of the day busy and infected by the speed of time, have stressful jobs or are too consumed by technology, so spending time is not within your plans.
So, time for self-care, our time, becomes the last option on the agenda and, on many occasions, it even stops being a choice because we believe we are selfish if we have our little time to take care of ourselves.
Sometimes it may be the case that the only way to accept the idea of taking care of yourself is when you come to the understanding that if you don’t take care of yourself first, you won’t be able to take care of others.
On the other hand, another reason that can motivate you to take care of yourself may be the idea of demonstrating how important it can be to take care of yourself so that the people around you become aware and learn to do it with themselves, acting as an example. and inspiration.
Although all this is true and even beneficial for you, these would be two external motivations, which continue to have the people around you, as the engine to take care of yourself, but it is convenient to remember that, as we have already mentioned, self-care makes sense for yourself, for the simple fact that you are important and deserve it, you also deserve that care as well as others.
So, once we take this into account, we could say that the main factors that prevent you from taking care of yourself would be two; On the one hand, there would be the idea of ”selfishness”, which is also usually accompanied by a feeling of guilt, and both caused by the fact that, during our daily routine, we decide to stop to take care of ourselves and dedicate some time to ourselves, instead of doing other apparently more important activities.
- Feeling of guilt: Why do you feel guilty when you put yourself first on the list, when you prioritize yourself to take care of yourself?
The feeling of guilt comes from thinking that taking care of yourself or having fun is less valuable than other tasks such as obligations and caring for others. To avoid the feeling of guilt, you need to redefine what meaning you give to those hobbies or routines that make you feel good, such as going to play sports or going out with friends.
You need to believe that just like you want the best for others, you also deserve the best that life has to offer. And it is that having fun, spending time with friends or loved ones, being in silence, outdoors… are activities that help renew energy, illusion, love or inner peace.
- think you are selfish
You have accepted as good the belief that the more you help others, the better person you are and this leads to the contrary idea that if you dedicate yourself, then you are selfish and that is equivalent to being a bad person. Hence, you feel bad for wanting to stay at home to rest instead of going to a party with friends.
However, this educational question does not help you, and it is due to the fact that you have not been taught to put yourself first, but to relegate yourself. Thinking of you before anyone else seems an act of selfishness, ugly and frowned upon.
But if you think about it, you are being generous when you share what you have and what makes you happy, therefore, the more you have that makes you happy, the more possibilities you have to share and be a generous person. In addition, you can help to the extent of how you are, if you are not well, you have nothing to give. It all starts with you. It is not a selfish approach but a realistic one, it is an act of generosity towards yourself, towards your family and your environment.
Now I ask you the following questions: Can you think of others and myself at the same time? Or is it incompatible? This is not black and white, but your dichotomous thinking makes you choose instead of integrate. Leaving behind negative thoughts such as guilt and selfishness is the first step to start taking care of yourself.
But for a ritual to make sense to you, it must interest you and enrich your daily life and, of course, it must not be seen as a waste of time or a burden, but must be enjoyed.
Tips for applying self-care
With everything we’ve seen so far, we can deduce that personal self-care can mean something different to each person. However, there is a factor that is common to many, any ritual that helps break the monotony or stress of your routine will be beneficial for your self-care.
But for a ritual to make sense to you, it must interest you and enrich your daily life and, of course, it must not be seen as a waste of time or a burden, but must be enjoyed. This way, it will be easier for you to do it frequently and it will really become a ritual.
For this reason, today I am not going to leave you specific exercises to practice, this is due to a simple reason, there are a thousand ways to take care of yourself, as many as there are people, and also, not all actions are for everyone, since it is important to identify the ones that good with you, due to age, character, personal dynamics, physical conditions and other elements to take into account.
But I do have to emphasize that the truly important thing would be to have some self-care strategies, practice them regularly and validate their help for emotional management in ourselves. So what I am going to do is list a series of steps that you must follow in order to establish self-care routines or habits:
The first step is to do a mental exercise to identify that activity that will be the cornerstone of your self-care. To do this you only have to answer the following question : what makes you feel good? The important thing is to choose something that makes you feel good, that charges your batteries and connects you with yourself.
Secondly, a series of determinations must be made in order to put it into practice. Here I recommend you to be firm and constant , put yourself before others. At first it may seem strange to your environment, but think that it is your physical and mental health that is at stake.
To help you in this step, I will explain some tips to be able to carry out this self-care activity:
- Define the duration: the time will depend on your needs. An interesting option can be to start with 15 or 20 minutes one day of the week, and then increase if you wish.
- Reserve a space in the agenda: one of the main mistakes is, for example, thinking “every week I am going to go to the gym for an hour”, because surely your day to day is filled with other activities and when you want to realize it, Sunday will have arrived without meet your goal. Instead, you can say: “I’m going to go to the gym from 7 to 8 on Wednesday afternoon” and mark it on your calendar as an important task.
- Sanctify your moment of self-care: and for this you need the collaboration of your environment . The moment that you dedicate to taking care of yourself must be respected by those around you, without interruptions except for extreme severity
- Ask for help: This is perhaps the hardest part. You shouldn’t feel bad about delegating tasks and asking those who love you to help you take care of yourself. No one can carry all the responsibilities and obligations in the world, so relax and take a breather .
- Treat yourself well Listen to the tone with which you speak to yourself, try to make it kind and loving. The way we talk to each other says a lot about our self-esteem and how we see ourselves. So love yourself a lot and take care.
And thirdly and lastly, I would like to point out that, for all the previous steps to be a reality, it is very important and necessary to be clear that you must develop the ability to set limits and learn to say no, since this is a very important part . important of personal self-care.
And it is that saying no is an act of courage, of putting yourself first without being selfish. It is necessary, it is healthy and it is an art that must be learned and practiced. They have not educated us in the no, but in the yes, when we want to say no. However, it is necessary to understand that saying no is a form of respect and self-care because learning to say no and define our limits is a great help to balance our lives and a good way to overcome stress. We just need to learn to say it without creating too much tension, because when we explode, we have pushed our endurance limit too far.
If you know your limits and make sure that you respect them and that they respect them, you will be happier and you will ensure that you are not taken advantage of. Always ask yourself if something really suits you at the moment it is presented. For example, you can ask yourself the following question, do I have energy and time to carry out the tasks that are being offered to me?
There are many people who do not like rejection, but the most normal thing is that most are understanding. If you manage to base your relationships on respect, the people around you will understand that you also need time for yourself.
If you follow these guidelines you will be able to observe how little by little your well-being will grow and every day it will be easier for you to take time to take care of yourself.
A therapist can be of help and guidance to give you the tools you need tailored to your individual style.
Consult with a professional
Finally, if these self-care strategies are not enough to establish a good psychological balance, or you don’t feel capable of carrying them out on your own, you may need to see a professional psychologist. A therapist can be of help and guidance to give you the tools you need tailored to your individual style.
I can accompany you and guide you until you achieve it so that in a short time you begin to see the changes you are looking for.
Receive the expert help you need, for this, you only have to request a free and non-binding first informative interview , to find out how I work personally.