On the behavioral rules of parents , psychologists are unanimous in identifying the rules to follow to guarantee children a serene approach to family separation.
Avoid criticism : as much as your partner may have hurt you, he is still the parent of your children and downplaying or criticizing him in their presence will affect the general vision of things. This will only fuel anger and suffering, irreparably damaging the relationship. You must clarify the outstanding issues with your partner: your children cannot (and must not) atone for your sins.
Agree on education : even if in different homes, at different times and at different times, children must have certain rules. The trap into which separated parents risk falling is that of challenging themselves to the ideal parent, that is, to those who make their children spend the happiest and most peaceful hours, indulging their every whim. Defining and maintaining clear and fixed rules is the only attitude to pursue, to prevent children from exploiting separation to their advantage.
Avoid using children as a tool to get what you want or deserve from your partner: adults must communicate with each other and directly to resolve small quarrels or misunderstandings that can arise in a delicate situation such as separation.
Clarifying privately : another common mistake between separated parents. If during the meeting with the other parent something did not go as planned, it is counterproductive to clarify (arguing) the subject in front of the children. Better to postpone it until later, when you are sure that the children do not hear the discussion.
The CSR channel LA1 Switzerland has dealt with the separation and its consequences on children, which has made an impressive documentary, in the form of a cartoon, entitled ” Divorced parents seen by children ” in which the injured adults are shown, helpless and unable to take care of themselves and their children and children “forced” to reverse roles, to behave like miniature adults.
Family planning and management: help from the web
Help in the management of post-separation children also comes via the web: 2Houses.com , a tool available both on the web and in the mobile version that helps correct communication and organization between separated parents, for the well-being of the children.
In practice, the application allows you to manage a shared schedule (a calendar) on which to enter the various appointments of the children, school and extracurricular, sports and partygoers.
The application also allows you to manage the economic aspects, reducing the reasons for friction and conflict between parents: you can check the budget of expenses, grouping them by type, share extra expenses (but also gift ideas).
There is also a useful diary section useful for sharing important information about children and their relationships with friends and acquaintances or communications from teachers, as well as capturing and sharing the highlights of children’s lives safely (from first steps, to birthdays). , to personal challenges successfully overcome).
But, help aside, there is one thing that we must never forget: the power of a direct and open dialogue between all members of the family, without hatred or anger, overcoming all sorts of personal problems and resentments in the name of the serenity of the family. sons. Because…