Talking about unhealthy relationships is increasingly common. Over the past few years, many people have shown that it is possible to disengage from a possessive, aggressive and bad-intentioned partner.
As much as watching these stories of liberation and life change is inspiring, when you are part of the relationship, seeing the reality of the situation is not usually so simple. Many feelings and remarkable moments are involved. In cases where children need to be considered, the situation is even more complicated.
Still, it is possible to get rid of a toxic relationship that doesn’t do you any good. We have already warned you: the process is long and requires a lot of determination to know yourself outside the sphere of the relationship.
Getting rid of an unhealthy relationship can be a challenge. This article will help you find freedom, away from your possessive partner.
How to recognize an unhealthy relationship?
Recognizing that you are in an abusive relationship is one of the most difficult tasks. Although the partner acts in an atypical manner and raises some suspicions, the person prefers to focus on their positive characteristics and recall the happy moments of the relationship rather than seeing the reality.
Often, when the first signs start to appear, the person is unable to see the partner as that horrible being that others see. Taken by her emotions , for her, the partner always deserves the benefit of the doubt.
It should be noted that a sick partner is usually identified over time. At first, he seems to be the perfect match. Only qualities, laughter and moments of fun enjoyed together.
Coexistence and intimacy make people comfortable enough to be their true selves, revealing their partner’s real identity.
The person in the unhealthy relationship usually suspects his abnormality after the first assault or first tantrum or traumatic situation caused by the partner. It is like a shake that brings the person back to reality.
It is also common that the person has already been affected by the mentality of the possessive partner. Her self-confidence is already weakened, which prevents her from escaping the relationship even after displays of hostility.
Prior knowledge of the signs can help someone break free before the relationship reaches this stage.
Signs of an unhealthy relationship
Recognizing the signs requires a lot of evaluation and reflection on the state of the relationship and the feelings involved. Below, see some of the most typical ‘red flags’ of this type of relationship and relate them to your reality.
Psychological sign of the victim
- A sick relationship makes you tired , discouraged, scared and worried. Feelings opposed to a healthy relationship.
Partner behavioral signs
- The jealousy is so exaggerated that you are unable to find your friends, wear the clothes you want, go out with colleagues and visit relatives.
- Basically, you are vetoed from leading an active social life.
- Requests for you to stop studying or stop working can also happen. The possessive partner does everything so that you just pay attention to him. He sabotages all of his ties to the outside world to disrupt it.
- The partner is suspicious of everything you do: where you have been after work, where you bought bread for afternoon coffee, who you will meet in your spare time, in short, mundane occasions that are part of everyone’s life.
- In this type of relationship, it is common for the other to let you down, throwing a bucket of cold water at all your ideas, dreams and plans. Your suggestions and opinions are not heard or respected. The partner constantly states that “you don’t know what you’re talking about”.
- Undue guilt. You are always to blame for fights, arguments and even uncontrollable unforeseen events. Any mistake is cause for explosion and blame. Meanwhile, the partner does not take responsibility for his actions.
- Your feelings are not taken seriously. When you suffer, cry, get angry or complain, the partner silences you. Possible accusations like “you don’t value me” or “you don’t know what you want from a relationship” are used to further confuse your emotions.
- The partner makes emotional blackmail to manipulate him to agree with his point of view or to act as desired by him. You begin to doubt your own thoughts about the relationship, wondering if you are not imagining things.
Physical signs
- Physical aggression indicates that the unhealthy relationship is at an extremely critical moment.
- The partner can also verbally attack you with insults and aggressive words, maintaining this same attitude when they are in public to ridicule you in front of friends and family.
Enduring these toxic behaviors day after day destroys any person’s emotional. The person, previously healthy and content, finds himself totally apathetic, frightened, suspicious, insecure and dependent on his partner. If you feel you no longer have control over your relationship, it is likely to be abusive.
How to get rid of an unhealthy relationship?
Reevaluate your relationship
The first step is to recognize the signs in the partner’s conduct. Pay attention to how you act at social events, mood swings, and speech contradictions. Then, put the good and bad things on a scale.
It is common to encounter resistance, even when the relationship is not good. Do not be afraid or ashamed to admit that you have been deceived or disrespected by the other. Although happy memories can feel good, remember to focus your thinking on the present to see reality as it is.
Reflect mainly on your feelings. Is happy? Are you satisfied? Can you imagine yourself in this relationship in the coming years? Healthy loving relationships should be about love and companionship, and not make you feel bad for being who you are.
It is only by realizing that that person is not who you thought you knew that detachment happens.
Ask for help from friends and family
Your friends and family are the best allies in this situation. Ask if you can spend time with someone you trust , if necessary, or ask for help in finding the right words to end the relationship. Count on their help after the end.
It is wonderful to have people around us to help us overcome the painful moments of our lives. So ask for their support to get rid of the sick relationship.
Give it a definite stop (if necessary, choose a safe place)
When declaring the end of the relationship, you must be aware that it will not be possible to go back. In these circumstances, resuming sends the wrong message that you don’t mind suffering from your partner’s possessive attitudes . Be strong in putting an end to the relationship and make your wishes very clear so that there are no disagreements.
If the relationship has a history of physical aggression or threats, do not meet with the partner in person or choose a public place where you feel safe. Call friends or family to accompany you if the other person reacts violently .
It is likely that a sick partner will not give up at first. He will insist and insist through constant calls and force face-to-face meetings to discuss the relationship. She will also use emotional blackmail to convince him to return. It is at this point that you need to remember that the other person’s happiness is not your responsibility and move forward with your decision.
If the partner is violent or violates your privacy, risking your security, do not hesitate to contact the police.
Avoid the possibility of relapse
Do everything to keep your distance. Avoid meeting him in person at the beginning in environments you usually attend or at events of mutual friends. Others may even think you are acting cowardly, but this period of withdrawal is necessary to heal the wound from the breakup.
You will probably be shaken and sad , missing your partner’s constant presence. This reaction is common even in cases of abusive relationship. The emotional manipulation is so great that the desire to see the partner or to start a conversation to know how he is may arise.
Delete the cell phone number to combat these anxieties and block the profile on social networks so as not to fall into the temptation to spy on the life of the now ex-partner. Cut off contact with the other person completely so that he also realizes that you were serious and stops bothering him.
Rebuild your self-esteem
Think only of yourself and your well-being. The time has come to be “selfish”! Do what you like, sign up for a course, visit interesting places and find loved ones to get around low self-esteem .
Keep your focus away from the past in order to forget the accusations, fights and curses. In short, get back to the life you used to lead before your partner sabotaged it. The memories will leave you alone eventually. It is like that wise saying: “Time heals all wounds”.
Seek professional help
If it is difficult to take this huge step alone or if you have found it difficult to start again after getting rid of your partner, see a psychologist .
