Learn how to effectively resolve conflicts by using perfect phrases. Improve your communication skills and build stronger relationships today.Once an argument gets out of hand, productive conversation becomes nearly impossible. The following 7 phrases will help keep a flaring conflict within the bounds of constructive communication.
Help me understand you
Conflicts tend to escalate when people feel they are not being heard. It is important to demonstrate openness and curiosity to de-escalate the argument. Sincere attempts to understand the other person’s point of view shift the conversation away from fighting over who is right. By asking the other person to explain themselves in detail, you create an opportunity for productive communication. People are also more likely to behave calmly when they feel their thoughts are respected, which helps reduce tension by promoting mutual understanding.
This is a real problem – let’s deal with it together
Everyday arguments often turn into debates. At the same time, it’s helpful to remind the other person that it’s better for you to work together to solve a common problem, rather than against each other. By inviting the person to work together to find a solution, you prioritize your connection and teamwork, rather than distancing yourself. The nice bonus is that, by working together, you’ll likely find a better solution than you could have found on your own.
What can we do differently next time?
It is all too easy to get bogged down in figuring out who did or didn’t do what, blaming each other, and never getting to the stage of conflict resolution. By asking your interlocutor about what steps you can take in the future to prevent conflicts, you confirm your status as allies, not enemies. In addition, you shift the focus from the existing problem to ways to solve it. It is desirable that the solution be joint, without ultimatums from one of the parties.
Thank you for agreeing to talk about this.
Expressing gratitude is another simple way to defuse tension. Thanking another person for their willingness to talk about a difficult topic can help them to open up about their thoughts without fear. This creates an atmosphere of mutual respect, helps make the conversation safer for both, and helps keep you calm and open even when discussing the most sensitive issues.
What I hear from you is…
“If I understand you correctly” and other stereotypical variations can make someone start defending themselves before they’ve heard the whole story. Try to avoid the clichés, but still try to restate the other person’s thoughts, making sure you understood them correctly. This phrase demonstrates that you’re actively listening and trying to understand their point of view, rather than just waiting for your turn to speak. Even if your interpretation isn’t perfect, it’s the quickest path to clarity.
I’m too upset to have a meaningful conversation.
It can be extremely difficult to communicate constructively when you are overwhelmed by emotions: your heart is racing, your breathing is short, and you feel like you can’t think clearly. Knowing when you are in a state that is not conducive to arguing will allow you to agree on a time-out. A well-timed “time-out” will allow you to collect your thoughts and calm down so that you can return to the conversation with a cool head and meaningful proposals.
I think you are right about this.
Recognizing the rightness of the interlocutor, even partially, instantly disarms the other side of the conflict. If you cannot sincerely agree with much, highlight those nuances that are close to you – this is an excellent foundation for constructive continuation of the dialogue. It is difficult to feel aggression towards a person who shares your point of view – use this knowledge to extinguish any conflict.