My husband and I joke that we can be two of the most fertile people on the planet, because we get pregnant without even trying.
(And the second time, we were really trying not to get pregnant).
After Having Two Relatively Close Babies (19 Months Apart), We Both Decided That My Husband Should Have A Vasectomy.
My body was exhausted from growing and feeding babies for the past three years and the thought of another surprise pregnancy scared me a lot.
I was worried about having nothing else in me to grow up and take care of another baby right after my son was born and I never imagined myself as one of those mothers of three babies under 3 years old.
Clearly, my body and mind were not on the same page, since getting pregnant again seemed like a foregone conclusion, unless we opted for a more permanent (and reliable) solution.
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We could have chosen to use a different and less permanent form of birth control, like the pill or an IUD, but I have had a lot of bad experiences with hormonal birth control methods.
(They made me very sad all the time and I didn’t think my postpartum emotions, already loaded with hormones, could handle it).
The other thing that led us to have a vasectomy was that we recognized that we both had an uncontrollable desire to have children, even when it made no sense at all – like when we were in the trenches of graduate school and law school.
We were all “let’s do this!” and nine months later we had our first child.
I knew that if we didn’t take a permanent step to avoid having more children, we would inevitably have more, although I couldn’t imagine my life at the time with three or more children.
There are factors to consider, such as my driving a Uno and having a small house, college tuition and auto insurance.
All of this was so overwhelming to think about and my brain was telling me:
Enough. Of children.
But I Knew That My Hormones Would Eventually Take Over And Convince Me To Go Ahead.
So, when our youngest son was almost seven months old, we made an appointment for a vasectomy.
A few days later, the prospect of more descendants was no longer at stake.
At first, we were grateful to be able to have sex whenever we wanted and not to worry about having another pregnancy.
We both remained confident in our choice for about a year… and then things started to change.
Several of our close friends started having babies and some were in their third or fourth pregnancy.
We watched them and thought, “We could have done this”, or we would dream how fun it would be to be one of those huge families with lots of kids and grandchildren.
I am often a little sad because my daughter will never have a sister and my son will never have a brother.
In addition, now that my daughter is a little older, I love to see her develop nutritional trends with her dolls and find myself wishing I could see her having that older sister “mother” relationship with a younger brother.
She sometimes asks me when I’m going to have another baby in my belly and is disappointed when I tell her that I won’t have any more.
I even searched for “vasectomy reversal” on Google and was shocked by the price that ranged from R $ 15 to R $ 36 thousand – not to mention the fact that there is not even a guarantee that it would work.
Vasectomy reversal involves reconnecting the tubes of the vas deferens that were cut and cauterized when the vasectomy was performed.
The more time that has passed since the vasectomy was performed, the less likely it is to succeed.
Therefore, if more than three years have passed, your chances of conceiving are about 50%.
So, at this juncture, we will only have to deal with the decision we made and trust that we think about it a lot.
I’m looking forward to getting out of those years of procreation and, hopefully, having better control over those annoying hormones that keep telling me:
Procreate! Procreate! Procreate!
We also consider adoption, but this is a decision we want to take our time to make sure it is right for our family.
There are so many obstacles that you have to face to adopt today and we are still in the business of raising beautiful children, so we want to be able to put all our focus on this process if we decide to follow this path.
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