ll men are cheating on their wives,” a popular showman and joker Slepakov sings in a funny song. Hurry to reassure you – not all. Although the figures that sociologists give us look really depressing: for example, in 2016, 75% of the men surveyed admitted that at least once in their lives, they had run away “to the left” or had a constant mistress. For comparison, more recently, this figure was 58%! Well, a faithful husband in our time – a phenomenon so rare that the chance to meet such a modern woman is slightly higher than face to face with an Yeti or a dinosaur? Not everything is so sad.
16 reasons why a husband cheated
They say that even in the heads of faithful men playful thoughts roam from time to time
What pushes the stronger sex to the crooked path of adultery? What kind of unknown winds call men away from their girlfriends, a cozy home, children in the end? We give the floor to psychologists, sociologists and the “heroes of the day” themselves. How do they justify their campaigns on the side?
The jungle’s name
Opinion: A man is created by a polygamous creature, and that’s the point. Unlike a woman, he was bequeathed by nature to fertilize as many females as possible – remember at least the gigantic number of sperm that the male body regularly produces as a counterweight to a single female egg. Or the fact that the production process of the offspring of the stronger sex takes several minutes, while the ladies take 9 months to do it. In a word, if you do not like something, all claims are to nature, which is impossible to resist.
Surprisingly, gentlemen, scientists support this theory. However, they point out that the centuries of civilization, the moral foundations of society and our own conscience have long been squandered our brutal males and wrested them from the power of instincts. So, if your darling does not try to mark each pillar at the turn, as any male animal would do, then the man is more than able to withstand his “call of the jungle”.
Do not confuse warm with soft
Opinion: Some men are frankly perplexed, why their friends so hard take the news of an accidental betrayal. It’s just sex, a flash of passion, satisfaction of the needs of the body! Why not take the opportunity if he fell out? But I love you!
The same sociologists calculated that 40% of traitors (according to other sources – all 80), decided on adultery, continuing to sincerely love their wife or girlfriend. True, if the “walkers” were offered to imagine that their other half would do the same, the subjects’ reactions were violent and sharply negative.
For some, the risk of being caught only increases the pleasure of cheating
Life without risk – like food without salt
There is a type of men, players, and adventurers for whom an affair is valuable not so much in the opportunity to have a good time with a new woman, but as a thrill. Encrypted SMSs, secret meetings, the constant danger of being caught “on the hot” … All this so much resembles a spy novel and excites the blood! And it also happens that a man is not at all an adventurer or a womanizer, he just got bored with the boredom of family life, and betrayal is the easiest way to bring a fresh stream into your existence.
Routine and boredom are equally harmful to both spouses. Run away from them! Experiment with your style so as not to get stuck in the same bored image. From time to time, instead of the usual dinner with a traditional set of dishes, arrange excursions to the cuisine of different peoples of the world. Get out of the house together more often, and your entertainment must be varied and equally interesting to you and your husband. There are special agencies for incorrigible Shtirlits who organize a real spy quest with puzzles, pursuits and abductions for a moderate fee. And for those whose budget cannot bear such a load, good old role-playing games will come to the rescue. By the way, atypical clothes and a wig for you are a great way to organize your beloved “authorized treason” and have some fun. There would be a fantasy and a sense of humor.
I did not know what I was doing
About 8 out of 10 betrayals are made under the influence of alcohol. The bans are lifted, excitement boils in the blood, a sense of duty goes peacefully to nap in the far corner of the subconscious … But animal instincts creep out and take control of the body.
Life with a drinker can be compared to dancing on broken glass – sooner or later, one way or another, and once one of the fragments will hurt you. Run away from such a person. But if your man knows his norm firmly, and in a sober state does not look his eyes at every girl who defiled by, the green serpent has no power over him. Intoxication reveals the secret desires of man, but does not force him to change his principles.
What little things do not throw alcohol with our minds!
Do not think that the stronger sex knows no remorse! Many unfaithful spouses, having decided on treason under the influence of a momentary rush or alcohol, experience real moral torment afterwards and try their best to make amends to their wives.
If not fed at home, have a bite to eat elsewhere
It’s no secret that sex is one of the basic human needs, a little less significant than the desire to eat. You do not coincide with your husband’s temperament, suffer from migraines with enviable constancy, or are you the type of wife who punishes her faithful for shoals by regularly excommunicating them from her body? Do not be surprised that from a married bed covered with dust, a man will sooner or later be pulled to another, more hospitable bed.
Draw conclusions, young ladies. Do not want your husband to go into all seriousness, do not keep him on a starvation diet.
Hey, she kisses my children with this mouth!
Remember, with what indignation the hero of the film “Analyze This” accepted the psychoanalyst’s proposal to embody his sexual fantasies not with an random girlfriend, but with his wife? Surprisingly, many men argue in much the same way. With his wife – a respectable missionary position, turned off the lights and no “bawdy”. And everything that draws a passionate imagination, we will translate into reality the mistress.
However, do not blame men for inertness. No less than the number of beautiful ladies, because of their upbringing, complexes or pathological modesty, categorically refuse to bring something “such” to the love game. And they lose a lot!
We are so different
Not only does a woman dream of finding a soul mate in her man. The stronger sex no less wants the partner to at least approve, and better share his interests, needs and desires. When all conversations in the family revolve around a Sunday trip to Auchan, household needs and the needs of children, this is a sure sign that marriage is not all right.
No one asks you to understand 40 varieties of mormyshek and to know by heart the results of football matches from the time of Tsar Gorokh to the present day. But to keep abreast of your spouse’s hobbies, carefully devote it to your own, look for common topics for conversation that go beyond everyday life.
Life with Saw
Some wives are real sportsmen in terms of handling the “saw”
It is impossible to have a passion for a woman who does not miss the chance to point out to her spouse his mistake. In the best case, such a man will be sadly eking out his life next to the ever-rattling chainsaw, in the worst – go to “heal the nerves” to the affectionate and laconic little cat from the next entrance.
In order not to turn into a twisted vixen with a rolling pin, learn to relax. Drink soothing teas, take a walk in nature, find a hobby that will give you positive emotions. And if after that your husband will annoy you with every action, think about it – maybe it’s not the matter, just you have chosen not your “man”?
Pay attention to my suffering
A woman who realizes her ambitions is wonderful. But if your favorite work, friends and new grandiose projects steal from your husband, he can rebel. Each of the spouses has the right to count on the attention of their other half, otherwise it is no longer a family, but simply a good neighborhood.
No matter how intense your life, do not let your loved one feel unnecessary. A man taking a place somewhere between his gatherings with girlfriends in a cafe and buying a new wardrobe on his wife’s priority scale will sooner or later go in search of the one for which it will mean more.
Guilty Without Guilt
Can you easily be confused with the reincarnation of Shakespeare’s Othello? Is your sense of smell capable of catching the smell of alien spirits on the clothes of the faithful, even if he was not born there? Jealousy scenes that you sometimes roll up can be inserted into thrillers without editing? Someday the spouse will decide: to receive, so for the cause. And go hunting.
Engage in self-esteem. Confident ladies rarely burn with jealousy – they know their worth and do not waste nerves for nothing.
Regarding jealousy, the fair sex is not inferior to the strong
Eye for an eye
Treason out of revenge? It also happens. And it is not a fact that the spouse decides to repay you for the horns set for him. The cause may be too hot a quarrel, a derogatory remark or simply strained relations between spouses.
Solve problems on time. Even if your man is not revengeful, the accumulated grievances do not help strengthen the marriage.
Wife is no longer a cake
One of the most offensive explanations for female pride! The spouse became stout, turned numb, haggard, but she was surrounded by slender female bodies and fresh muzzles. And even if the man himself cannot climb up to the third floor without a break, and in front of him a round beer belly sways and bounces while walking, he perceives himself, at least, as Apollo, worthy of the best.
If the dull complexion and priest the size of Brazil is the eternal nightmare of the notorious Bridget Jones – the result of your unwillingness to take care of yourself, take care of your mind. Being attractive is never harmful. If the main claims of the spouse relate to the fact that the wife is not as young as before, it is difficult to do anything. It is extremely difficult for a woman to bloom and remain desired, feeling neglect from her spouse. Maintain the light of love, after years of marriage, can only be mutual efforts.
Not lucky in my cards
In psychology, there is such a curious concept as substitution. In this case, it means that a man who has not achieved success in other areas of life compensates for the lack of a leadership position, sports achievements and scientific discoveries by the number of mistresses. And not so he needs these “joys of the flesh.” The main thing is to prove to yourself your masculine solvency at least due to love victories.
It is almost impossible to correct the situation, but there is a chance to warn her. If you value your man, do not demean his dignity by listing other people’s records and his own defeats, but do not disregard any, even minor triumph. Spouse you do not appreciate and do not respect? And what, then, are you doing next to him?
Victory over a woman’s heart is an effective medicine for hurt male self-esteem
Demon in the rib
The crisis of middle age and the desire to start life first shocked many families. Someone, having walked, with an obedient head returns to his wife, someone stubbornly continues to build a family with a new girlfriend, and someone prefers to live in two houses.
Even a happy marriage does not guarantee that once a man does not want to feel young again. But the stronger and more trusting the relationship between you is, the higher the man’s chances to resist the temptation.
His lover is put in the state
For other subjects, a long-legged girl of 20 years old is just as necessary an application to success as a status car or an expensive watch. I can afford. If others have, why shouldn’t I?
Alas, it is difficult to advise anything to a deceived wife, because it was not her mistakes that led to the betrayal, but cockroaches in the husband’s head. One consolation is that not every successful man considers his mistress a necessary supplement to his new status.
Cheated and I will
For this man, the search for new victims and their seduction is a habit, a norm, and a lifestyle. A conquered woman, even if she is at least three times as smart and beautiful, instantly loses her value in the eyes of the “ideological seducer” and fades into the background for him.
Usually Don Juan does not need to calculate anything according to habits already at the courtship stage. If he meets on your way, keep in mind: you can ring an eternal reveler, but you can never force him to abandon his habits. No matter how much you sandal, you do not threaten to go to your mother, or you frighten the unfaithful lover with a divorce, suicide and heavenly punishment, sooner or later he will again take his own.
Oddly enough, most traitors are in no hurry to leave the family. They value their status, prevailing lifestyle, habits. They do not want to start the long and painful process of dividing property and settle in a new place with a new woman. Often they continue to love their legal spouse or, at least, to feel affection for her. So, if the husband is cunning enough and the wife is not observant enough, the womanizer manages to keep his adventures a secret for a long time.
Record holders of fidelity
So do faithful men exist in the world, or does everyone have their own reason to give their girlfriend horns? Exist!
- Doubtful option – henpecked. As a child, he obeyed his mother, and having matured, he passed into the complete disposal of his wife. Podkabluchnik considers a step to the right or left of the plan outlined by a strict “half” as an incredible audacity, he does not have his own opinion and desires, and he can only dare to betray treason if he is authorized by his wife.
- Boring option – Man with Complexes. Perhaps they would not mind to take a look at some beauty, but he is sure in advance that he will fail. Loyalty to this type is involuntarily: there was a woman who posed for it, and thanks for that.
- The option is tempting – a decent man. He loves his wife, sees no reason to cheat on her, and he prefers to solve all problems that arise through dialogue and work on relationships. Imagine, such individuals are also found in this world, and not so rare!
Video: How to find a devoted man
Is there insurance against male adultery
It is impossible to protect oneself from adultery, but you can do everything so that your husband does not have a desire to seek happiness on the side.
The main rules of a smart wife.
- Take care of your appearance. Engaging in a fight with an unknown homeowner – real or still potential – in a shabby home dressing gown and peeling off manicure is futile. Do not neglect cosmetic procedures for the face and body, pick up some cute home suits for yourself, start running in the mornings. So you will kill two birds with one stone: you will become more interesting in the eyes of your spouse and gain confidence in yourself.
- Give your husband more attention. Take an interest in how his day went, report on your affairs, ask for advice on a particular occasion. Let the faithful know that you value him.
- Do not miss the opportunity to go somewhere together. Friends’ birthday, a new movie at the cinema, an interesting exhibition – everything fits. So you not only remind your husband how good it is for you two, but also dilute your daily routine with vivid impressions.
- … But do not overdo it! A man should not get tired of your annoying society.
- Intimate life will not hurt to bloom with new colors. Think about whether you have secret fantasies about which you did not dare to tell your spouse before? It’s time to admit and try together to “make the story come true.”
No matter how great the temptation, do not rummage through your husband’s pockets, do not check his mail and do not look into your mobile phone. Such a gross invasion of personal space will only restore a man against you.
Needless to say, your efforts to strengthen marriage should have a return. A man who deserves love will always appreciate taking care of himself and will begin to take reciprocal steps. If the spouse prefers only to accept, but is in no hurry to give, think: do you want to please your whole life to a person who does not care about your comfort, peace of mind, happiness? Maybe somewhere nearby, another one is waiting, the one who will treat you the way you deserve it?