After the “clamor” of premenopausal disorders, the body finds a balance. The sky is clear again and it’s time to dedicate yourself to the things you love most, even – and above all – with your partner.
Yes, there is an end to your most unpleasant ailments : hot flashes, insomnia, irritability, are not “forever”. When your body and your mind (above all) decide it’s time to make peace with hormones and settle into the new life, it’s time to take back the reins of your everyday life .
That moment is almost like a rebirth and everything starts flowing again. Even intimate life can return to give you and your partner emotions and joy. And it is especially so for you that you know that you must never stop taking care of yourself and your intimacy .
Intimate health in postmenopause: what to do (first)
Intimacy must be taken care of for the whole course of life, both during the fertile life and after, and the first tool that allows you to keep under control the changes that your body physiologically undergoes is to make gynecological visits regularly.
Your trusted specialist , in addition to having the task of carrying out medical and diagnostic checks , must inform you clearly about the phases that await you and your contextual situation.
On the other hand, correct information is the first step towards the solution of any discomfort that may arise during the different phases of the transition from fertile life to postmenopause.
If you believe that the information that your gynecologist has given you up to now is not enough for you, you can ask for an explanation without shame (it is your right!) Or you can ask another gynecologist for a second opinion , perhaps choosing one of those specialized in menopause .
Postmenopause and intimacy: the inconveniences for the couple and how to overcome them
After the busiest phase of menopause, all the discomforts you have felt in recent years should gradually subside. But there is one such ailment that does not go away if left untreated.
We are talking about Vulvo Vaginal Atrophy , a chronic and progressive condition that affects about 50% of postmenopausal women and which can begin to manifest itself since perimenopause with itching, dryness, pain in intercourse, losses.
Diagnosing vaginal atrophy is not complex for a specialist, but the woman must be aware of the symptoms. It happens very often, in fact, that a recurrent itch is mistaken for an infection and therefore treated with home remedies or neglected. The same thing goes for the burning or the small blood losses that can occur.
These signs should not be underestimated and if there is any doubt it is good to contact the gynecologist and speak frankly about what is happening.
Coital pain (dyspareunia) is also a clear sign that something is wrong. In this case, postmenopausal women are more reluctant to ask the doctor for advice: often out of shame or embarrassment, after a certain age, people tend to remain silent on the subject of sex.
But you shouldn’t do it, because wishing to have intimacy with your partner is very normal and is, indeed, a clear indication of the couple’s and personal health.
Therefore the only thing to do to overcome these discomforts is to contact a gynecologist.
Avoiding sexuality out of pain or shame will certainly not improve the symptoms of vaginal atrophy .
And then the calm returns, even in the couple
The children are grown up, the work is now stable: you and your partner can return to decide together without too many “duties”, with creativity, imagination, and perhaps setting new stimulating goals.
The psychologist Rita Verardi, in the aftermath of a conference dedicated to the life of a couple after the age of 50, stressed that with age, intimacy with oneself improves , lightness, the ability to notice what changes, the ability to accept oneself with one’s flaws, the ability to act with irony and playfulness. As a couple, then, one must learn to “appreciate the goals , the progress achieved, the beautiful sides of the partner, recover rituals (kisses, hugs, cards, cuddles, cooking together, eating by candlelight, exchanging messages) are some examples of what ingredients can move the couple towards the new path together . Every couple has the right, after having done the necessary in life, to devote more time to oneself as well as to the partner , to continue moving side by side towards new common goals “.
Intimacy with the partner and the fact of maintaining physical proximity , not just mental, are therefore good for the couple relationship, helping to overcome the most difficult moments.