Educating children is not an easy task. All parents know that. However, according to Victor Arufe , professor at the Faculty of Education at the University of La Coruña , there are times when parents get carried away by the requests that their children make of them, even if they are small. “Children, by age, have the right to demand whatever they want because they are not aware of the long-term effects they have on their development. But parents are also entitled to say no , precisely to educate them on values such as responsibility, waiting, frustration, boredom … The problem is thatfor convenience, most of the time, parents give in . They are too busy with work and there is less patience when it comes to putting up with tantrums, ”he confesses.
For this reason, this teacher points out a series of phrases that can be heard from children « under the supervision of parents” in danger of extinction “ and not influenced by passing fads in the field of education. But … who I admire and love, “he says.
1. All my friends have more and better consoles than me
The teacher explains that if parents hear this often it is because they worry that their child is not in this world just to play dozens of video games and have different consoles. One or two may be more than enough. «One for home and a laptop, to take on a trip; With this, the basic needs (if it can be called that) of the leisure time devoted to video games are already covered. If they get used to having all the new ones, parents will be big customers of these video game brands, but they won’t be good educators.
2. My friends’ parents let them watch reality shows and other late-night TV shows.
«I am aware that those” damn “parents harm many of you. Breathe and count to 10 each time you hear your child say this. Then ask him what watching these shows can contribute to his personal growth. “
3. I want a dog like the neighbor’s and you never want to buy it from me
When this time comes, Arufe advises asking the child if he will be responsible for taking it down every day, washing it, cleaning up what gets dirty at home, putting food and drink on it daily, taking it to the vet, etc. “If he still says yes, then one day you take him to the nearest shelter and there you ask for the dog that best suits your home.”
4. I don’t understand why I have to do so much sport
This phrase is a good sign because “there are many comfortable children who do not like to make an effort. Sport is a great way to work on the values of effort, resilience, sacrifice, perseverance … Values that will be necessary in the adult world. To be carried away by what a sedentary child wants is to create the foundations of a person condemned to sedentary lifestyle. From a young age – he explains – we must establish a habit towards sports, and be aware that children may not like it at first. Of course, do not go over enrolling in many sports, “he warns.
5. You never buy me brand clothes
“And how happy we make them when suddenly one day you buy a Nike sweatshirt!”, Says Victor Arufe. The important thing is to have clothes, the brand is the least of it. “We must tell them that brands do not always offer quality and that even if they buy it, another twenty children may wear the same garment. Teach him to value if it suits him, if he likes the touch of that garment, the colors, if he saves money with the pay by not buying a brand garment that is more expensive, etc ».
6. My friends go to a fast food restaurant once or several times a week and we hardly ever
“How bad are parents who almost never go to fast food restaurants and are concerned about giving their children the best diet based on broths and well-prepared meals with the most natural ingredients possible,” ironizes this teacher. “I am sure that when you go to a hamburger or other fast food restaurant you will enjoy it much more than the child who goes three times a week. These are the things they will thank you for when they are adults.
7. All my friends have a cell phone except me
He can also tell you that all friends have better mobiles than him. «If he has a mobile phone, you will have to teach him to use it, manage it, make him see the expense it entails for you, tell him to take care of it, to use it at certain times of the day, not to send or share things that may be related to negative values , bullying, etc. In short, you will have to use yourself thoroughly so that it is not a child or adolescent whose parents have given the mobile the role of tutoring and accompanying them in life. If he does not have a mobile, invite him to tell you five important reasons for you to buy it. I’m afraid it won’t arrive at five, ”he confesses.
8. All my friends have Instagram
On this matter, Arufe is blunt. «It is incredible how many parents allow their underage children to be hooked on different social networks only with the aim of sharing photos of their body or body aesthetics, full of filters and distorting reality. The world does not need beautiful bodies, it needs wise minds!
9. All my friends go to bed when they want
Children must have schedules and sleep is within those hours. The teacher recommends establishing two types of bedtime: the daily adapted to the school schedule and the weekend. The important thing is that they rest the hours recommended by experts in pediatrics and sleep. There are children who go to school very sleepy and are not able to pay attention or follow the teacher’s explanation, which can lead to school failure.
10. All my friends get paid higher than mine
An old Chinese proverb says: “Give a man a fish and you will give him food for a day, teach him to fish and you will feed him for the rest of his life.” “Getting your children used to receiving large payments with little effort to get them is creating an obligation that you don’t have to have. As he gets older, Arufe explains, he will ask you for more and more amounts, and there will come a time, at 16, when he will ask you for 50 euros weekly that you will not be able to access. There a family conflict difficult to resolve will begin
