Don’t exaggerate,” “it can’t hurt like that,” “even worse things happen after childbirth” — if you’ve heard phrases like these, you’ve probably already experienced medical gaslighting. There’s little pleasant about any gaslighting — it’s psychological abuse , after all . And if it comes from a doctor, the consequences are even worse. You may miss out on important treatment and seriously damage your health.
What is medical gaslighting
Gaslighting is a situation when one person makes another doubt their feelings, memories, and generally their adequacy. And medical gaslighting is when a doctor does the same thing. For example, he devalues and ignores the patient’s complaints and symptoms. Or says that after 30, something always hurts. Or convinces that cancer does not happen at a young age . People involuntarily listen to the doctor, because he is an authoritative figure. He has education and years of experience behind him. But the patient has nothing like that. And he begins to think that he himself has imagined something.
According to statistics, women, overweight and non-white people are more likely to face medical gaslighting . Sometimes they have to wait years to get a diagnosis. Faced with gaslighting, people stop trusting doctors and avoid them until the last minute. And in the worst case , they die without receiving proper treatment.
How to Recognize Medical Gaslighting
Medical gaslighting has many faces. Here’s what it might look like at a doctor’s appointment:
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your symptoms are downplayed or ignored;
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the doctor is not particularly interested in the conversation, listens inattentively, does not ask questions or, on the contrary, interrupts all the time;
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They are trying to convince you that since the test results are normal, the problem is only in your head or your symptoms are psychosomatic ;
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complaints are attributed to obesity, hormones or stress;
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the doctor insists on treatment that you do not trust.
Sometimes gaslighting is obvious, and sometimes it is very difficult to catch. But in any case, such communication leaves an unpleasant aftertaste. The patient begins to doubt his feelings and eventually withdraws into himself.
How Women’s Health Is Suffering Due to Doctors’ Mistrust
Women have been experiencing medical gaslighting for years before the word was coined. In ancient Greece, for example, the physician Hippocrates described an entire disease called “hysteria” (which means “uterus” in Greek). Hippocrates believed that the causes of women’s ailments were rooted in a “restless uterus” that supposedly migrated throughout the body. A woman might suffer from cramps, suffocation, or paralysis, and she would be told that the cause was “stagnant toxic fumes” and a lack of sexual activity.
Modern women have a better chance of getting adequate treatment. But difficulties still remain. Gaslighting is ingrained in the patriarchal power structure and has taken root in hospitals. There, women are often treated with bias. For example, according to statistics, they wait longer in emergency departments and are diagnosed longer.
Women are also subjected to medical gaslighting during pregnancy and after childbirth. Mothers encounter this at a gynecologist’s appointment, during a conversation with a nurse, and even in the delivery room. A woman may complain of strange pains in her stomach, back, or chest. And she will be told something like: “What did you expect? Pregnancy is not easy.” A young mother may be alarmed by something in her baby, such as irregular breathing or skin color. And a therapist will advise “not to be paranoid” — after all, this is her first child, which means she does not understand motherhood.
Gender stereotypes make it difficult for doctors to adequately assess women’s pain. Women are seen as overly emotional and prone to exaggerating their symptoms. This makes it difficult for them to obtain diagnoses such as endometriosis , polycystic ovary syndrome , chronic fatigue syndrome, and fibromyalgia. When a woman complains of an acute or chronic health problem, she is considered an unreliable narrator by default. They say that all the symptoms are “in her head” or that she is too young to have the disease she suspects. Sometimes a woman may even be accused of malingering.
Medical gaslighting affects a wide range of women around the world. But those from marginalized groups (such as black women) are particularly vulnerable. Plus, women from patriarchal countries are at risk. There, women’s opinions are generally not taken into account.
According to the doctors themselves, sometimes gaslighting of women can be unconscious. Sometimes doctors simply lack knowledge about women’s health and treatment tactics. For example, because the government has primarily funded research into men’s health. And women end up receiving the wrong treatment that does not take their body into account.
Thus, women often encounter gaslighting when diagnosing a heart attack. Their symptoms differ from those of men , and doctors have only recently learned about this. The reason is the same – for a long time, only men were in the researchers’ field of vision.
Women have been excluded from clinical drug trials for decades, because scientists thought that women’s hormonal fluctuations would make their job harder. As a result, women experience more severe side effects when they take pills. They may complain to their therapist about nausea, headaches, and even hallucinations. And in response, they hear that the drug has been well studied and that this simply cannot happen. It’s a cycle of gaslighting.
How to Deal with Medical Gaslighting
You are unlikely to change the healthcare system in one visit to the doctor. But you can prepare for the appointment in advance and reduce the risks of gaslighting. Psychologists from the portals Psychology Today and Choosing Therapy have some useful tips.
Write down your symptoms
This will make it harder for the doctor to brush them off. Track how often and how much you have pain and write it down on paper. You can also add what you tried to relieve the symptoms, whether it helped or, on the contrary, worsened the situation.
Prepare a list of questions for your doctor
Having a plan is always a good idea. It will give you control over the conversation (and therefore a better chance of getting your wishes heard). Plus, you won’t forget something important if you’re nervous or feeling unwell.
Bring your support group with you to your appointment
Your mom, sister, or best friend will support you after the appointment if something goes wrong. They may also hear things that you might miss because you’re nervous. And if the doctor starts to push you or act tactlessly, they’ll stand up for you. This way, your complaints are more likely to be taken seriously.
Get a second opinion
Sometimes the path to a diagnosis is long and thorny. It is normal to go through several doctors. It is also normal to change your doctor. If you do not trust the first specialist or feel that he is not eager to help you, it is worth looking for another and listening to his opinion.
Don’t ignore your intuition
No one knows your body better than you do. You can hear doctors say over and over again , “Don’t worry, you’re fine.” But if you only fall asleep after taking strong painkillers or can’t climb the stairs, there’s clearly something wrong with your body. The sooner you understand what’s wrong, the sooner you can start treatment. And that means you won’t miss out on precious time, which often affects our health.