Things are going really well with the guy you are dating. He’s gone through all of your filters and all of your deals, and you’re starting to see real long term potential with him.
The thing is… you are worried this feeling is one sided. And you don’t want to be heartbroken again after the things you’ve been through in past relationships. How do you know if he loves you without making fun of you?
First: slow down your role and take your time
You’re probably in the early stages of infatuation: when this guy can’t hurt and looks absolutely perfect to you. While you could definitely be in love, give her time to make sure your feelings don’t fade away. If it’s love, take your time to fall. It will be all the more gentle to do so.
Going slow also gives her time to process her feelings and open up to you.
How to tell if he likes you: 12 signs
He loves me…
…he does not like me…
Let’s look at something more concrete than pulling petals out of a daisy to see if he loves you or if you are alone in your feelings.
1. He puts in as much energy as you do
Do you both feel like you’re making an effort?
Thinking back to the text conversations you had with this man… are you all starting… is he… or is it balanced enough?
Do you take turns planning dates or do you put energy into the relationship?
This is what you want in a balanced partnership: an equal effort. If you look back and realize that you have always done the heavy lifting, he may be with you until something better happens.
The best way to test this? Step back in your efforts and see if it intensifies. Wait and see how much time is left before initiating a text or asking you to exit.
2. He lets you in
Maybe he’s told you how much his grandfather’s death still hurts him, or he’s sharing something about a past relationship. Whatever he confides is a good thing because it means he feels safe enough around you to be vulnerable.
Don’t take her confidence for granted and don’t just do it one way. Make sure you open up to him as well.
3. He is ready to compromise
A good relationship means that the two people sometimes have to compromise. Is he? Maybe you like Mexican food and he’s not a big fan, but he lets you choose tacos for dinner tonight. Or maybe he’s going to a fancy dinner party where he doesn’t know anyone because he knows it means something to you.
4. He introduced you to your family and friends
Believe me: men don’t introduce the women they are casual with to their family and friends. They know they will be asked tons of questions about anyone they bring around them ( are you serious? Are you going to get married? ) And he will avoid these questions if he doesn’t have answers. So if you’ve been invited, don’t take it for granted.
Make sure you do the same, otherwise how will he know he’s special enough to meet his loved ones?
5. He talks about the future
When he talks about the future, are you there?
“Next year we should be going to Hawaii,” he says, warming you from head to toe.
or maybe it’s:
“We would have the cutest kids together, don’t you think?”
It’s great that he’s thinking about the future with you! It’s a sign that he’s in love with you… otherwise, why would he think far into the future?
Now is a good time to test the waters to find out what exactly he wants in his future. Wedding? Kids? Moving? It helps you make sure you’re aligned with what you’re looking for.
6. You feel it
You can’t put your finger on it… but you just feel like this man is falling in love with you. Maybe it’s because you catch him looking at you or notice how tender he is to you. If your intuition tells you that he’s in love with you, you are probably right.
Be sure, however! Don’t decide after a sweet thing that he’s crazy about heels. Look for changes in his behavior over several weeks as a sign that he is in love with you.
7. He gets “that look”
You know the look I’m talking about. If you want to know how he likes you, look for that lingering gaze, his eyes bright and big as a puppy. He communicates how he feels in a way that feels safe… without words.
If you feel the same, give it your own appearance in return.
8. Sex has become more emotional
Maybe when you started having sex he would close his eyes or look away. Maybe it was wham, bam, thank you, ma’am.
But you have certainly noticed a change. It’s less… well, I don’t want to use that rude word around a woman like you… and now it’s more… making love. He holds your eye contact. Is softer. More concerned with making you happy than receiving it himself.
9. He connects with you for no reason
Your guy will text or call you in the middle of the day just to say hello or see how you are doing. He wasn’t used to doing that… and you like him rather. If you want to know if he likes you, watch out for behaviors like this that have changed over the past few weeks or months.
10. He learned your language of love
Does he go out of his way to speak your language of love?
There is a trend that I approve of that is causing men and women to speak their love tongues on dating apps and in person. I think you really understand someone better when you know how they express love and want to feel it expressed by their partner.
Let’s say your favorite language of love is acts of service. If he’s really careful, he’ll start doing thoughtful things for you, like washing your dog without asking you or massaging your feet after a hard day. The fact that he knows that this is the path to your heart indicates that he is looking for the most direct path there!
11. He pays attention
Maybe you’ve never been with a man who seems to listen to what you say, then you are blown away by how much of this man keeps what you said. Maybe weeks ago you casually mentioned that your favorite flower is a daisy… and then he showed up today with a bouquet of them! Or maybe you’ve told him a silly story about his childhood that he’s telling you verbatim long after you’ve told it.
If he’s paying so much attention, he might have fallen in love with you.
12. He sees you for who you are
We all want to be seen by someone, don’t we? We want someone to recognize the greatness in us without our having to show them. We want to be authentic, not to feel like we have to put masks around other people.
If this man understands, if he really sees you for who you are, he’s a keeper! He has to care enough about looking really below the surface to know and care about who you really are inside.
What should you do now?
Okay, so the signs are that this guy might actually be in love with you, right? So you are wondering what to do.
If you feel the same, start doing some of the things on this list to let her know you are feeling the same. I know there is always this delicate balance of “do I say I love you first… or wait for him to say it?”
I get it. Maybe you’re not ready to start like this, or you’d feel better with him saying it first. So make sure that your actions speak louder than the words you don’t want to say so that he gets the message and says those three magic words to you soon.
If you’re not sure the guy you’re with, in fact, likes you after reading this list, you have two choices: give him time or move on. If you’ve been with him for several months and you don’t see things progressing the way you want, maybe it’s time to release this one so you can make room for the guy who’s going to totally knock your head over you. .
Tell me about it in the comments below: which of these signs, if any, is your guy exhibiting? What do you plan to do next?