Comparison is the thief of joy. – Theodore Roosevelt
This quote is not new, but still very relevant. In a world where we have access to everyone’s lives through our phones, it has become very easy to compare ourselves to others.
I don’t know about you, but I can’t remember life before social media.
Even though Instagram has been around for less than 10 years and Facebook for about 15 years, it seems like scrolling through people’s photos and “following” them has always been one thing.
Sometimes I even wonder if my life would have been the same without social media?
The truth is, a lot of what I do, travel, blog, YouTube was inspired by the people I saw online. Being able to reach their prime in their life allowed me to discover the many possibilities that exist for making money online .
Why comparing yourself to others is not wise
But as great as social media can be, it is also a common source of anxiety.
Many of us are so glued to the lives of others that we forget the beauty of our own. And that often brings disappointment, envy and stress.
I am not exempt from it. Especially as a blogger.
I tend to look to the content, graphic design, and success of others and wonder if I should adopt some of their techniques. Hoping I could ride the same wave as them.
But it turns out that it doesn’t work.
Because I will never be able to copy their secret sauce and most importantly I am not supposed to. And I’ve learned this the hard way over the past 3 years as a blogger.
I realized that my way of speaking and writing might not be as eloquent as I would like, but that’s exactly what draws people to me because it’s genuine.
It turns out that grammar and spelling mistakes are part of my secret sauce.
While I can say for sure that I have improved and compare myself less these days, there are still times when I fall short.
This is why today I am sharing with you 6 tips to stop comparing yourself to others.
These steps have been tried and proven and will help you focus more on what God is doing in your life and less on what God is doing in the lives of others.
1. Identify your lack
Let’s be honest, ladies. Comparing yourself to others fuels a very distinct feeling – envy. This is when we look at others and wish we could do or have what they have.
Maybe their new home, their new man, or their new job.
It happens to the best of us because we do it subconsciously and that is where the problem lies.
In order to no longer compare yourself to others, you must first realize that you are. Notice the people and situations that lead to comparisons and identify the lack they point to.
Accept that you cannot have what they have, but that you can identify the steps to get the equivalent for yourself.
2. Use the comparison as a source of inspiration
Once you’ve identified what you want, you can take active steps to achieve it.
When I first realized that people were making a lot of money as bloggers and YouTubers in 2016, I was intrigued, excited and jealous.
I knew I could do what they were doing, but I couldn’t do it. In 1 year, I saved some money and decided to take the leap in June 2017. Within 10 months of starting my blog, I was making $ 1,000 per month .
So instead of allowing the comparison to discourage you and make you feel bad about yourself, use it as fuel to pursue your dreams.
Take stock of where you are now and where you would like to be, then create an action plan that will get you there.
3. Perform a social media purge
I am a huge fan of social media detox. I think it can help you focus and eliminate any distractions.
However, I don’t believe it cures your tendency to compare yourself to others. This is why it is much more important to stop following the people who are pushing you to play the comparison game.
For a while, I had to stop following many of my favorite influencers. Watching their life made me feel like I was late with mine. I realized that while I was working in my business, I compared myself to people who were traveling full time and starting their own businesses.
In order to protect my peace, I abandoned them until I was finally ready to quit my own job and travel the world.
If the comparison is something you struggle with, I suggest you do the same. Only follow people who make you feel good and who inspire or entertain you.
4. Remember that no one’s life is perfect
Let’s be honest. Sometimes going on Instagram can be quite depressing. Everyone else is on vacation, losing 20 pounds, and getting engaged. Until then, you work here.
However, most perfectly organized calendars don’t happen in real time. They are a collection of the best photos of people from months, if not years ago.
And I know what I’m talking about because that’s what I do too .
Whenever you are tempted to compare yourself to others on Instagram, remember that all you see is what they choose to show you, not their real life.
So you need to stop comparing the behind the scenes of your life to the highlights of others.
Remember that no one’s life is like a magazine and still has its ups and downs.
5. Count your blessings
Gratitude is an important part of my spiritual life. It allows me to keep my feet on the ground and appreciate what I have.
The reason we tend to compare ourselves to others is mainly because we focus on our lack.
Anytime you feel down or down because things aren’t working out the way you would like them to, change your perspective and count your blessings instead.
Keep a gratitude journal to record every little thing you’re grateful for.
It will change your awareness and allow you to see opportunities in your own life.
6. Focus on your goals
Like I said before, the best way to use the comparison when it appears is as a growth catalyst!
You only have one life! So why not live it to its full potential and achieve as many of your goals as possible.
Whenever you identify an area of your life that you are unhappy with, write down a goal and address it.
Become proactive in creating the life you would like to live, rather than being reactive by just watching other people living theirs.
Remember that comparing yourself to others doesn’t do anything for you, but inflicts feelings of frustration, anxiety, and envy on you. Instead of wasting energy wishing for ‘power’, take back your power and ‘do’.
Concentrate on your own path, because it is the only one that matters.