The keys to recovering the brightness.
You can see in your eyes that you live in love , luck has accompanied you …” Soto sang. If there is something that characterizes the passion between two people, it is the brightness in the eyes of a loving couple. Many couples report feeling distant, bored, bored these days after these rare pandemic months . The reasons why they feel this way are obvious: uncertainty , many hours together when one was used to having their life and their intimacy, having more time to be aware of what separates them, more frequent discussions, and, above all, emotions outside the partner such as desolation, boredom, fear, anxiety …
Everything that concerns one also affects the couple. We live with the emotions , worries , and decisions of another person and these also affect us. So for a couple to enjoy themselves and be well, it is obvious that both parties need to find themselves in the wave of being well. In these months we have gone through moments of downturn that have alternated. We were pulling at each other in spades. But the wear accumulates, the reproaches begin , the sloppiness and without realizing it we lose the shine in our eyes. Because instead of focusing on what maintains love, we do it on everything that does not work, not only in the couple, but in our environment.
The circumstances do not favor the good state of mind, key in the mood for any type of relationship, but the couple that is that we can not detach. You can decide not to talk for a few days with your parents, with your friends, but it is difficult to have distance with someone with whom you live.
So, if you are in this semi – confined state , fed up and in a bad mood and you do not want your relationship to end up failing, let’s put a little passion and sanity so that love lasts beautifully.
- Start with the basics … displays of affection
Affection attracts affection. If what we are looking for is to recover emotions, feelings, passion, we can start by giving love with kisses, caresses, shaking hands when you walk, touching the other. The contact of the skin, the touch, the pressure we make when we hold our partner’s hand, caress the hair or a hug, all this transmits emotions and releases neurotransmitters related to well-being and security. Dopamine and oxytocin strengthen emotional bonds and are released when we hug each other with desire. Touch, kiss, caress.
And if you are one of the people who thinks “now, but it doesn’t come out, I don’t feel like it, I always have to be me”, then you have to talk about it with your partner. Express the need you have for that contact, that you wish they had more initiative, that they were more affectionate and remind them when you are on the couch, in bed, eating or walking down the street. Nothing happens because you have to remind them. If you have lost the habit of expressing displays of affection, the normal thing is that you will continue to forget if you do not remind yourself.
- Speak from the heart and from the gaze
What beautiful or intimate topics of conversation do you have pending? If there is something adorable, comforting, intimate, binding, it is being able to speak with time and from love with the person you love. Share future projects, situations that worry you, memories of romantic moments, pending conversations for which we usually do not have time.
If you also create a comfortable and relaxed environment, the better. A leisurely dinner, a walk, a vermouth, a coffee on a peaceful terrace. Find an environment that invites you to talk and share emotions.
- Any series that you can start watching together?
A series is not only seeing something that happens on the screen. It is a joint activity. If the series engages, it can be the subject of very interesting conversations about the characters, values, the plot …
As I say series, it can be films, programs, film series, documentaries. It is about making a relaxed lake, which facilitates rest together and generates complicity and emotion. That emotion of “one more chapter?”
- A new hobby as a couple?
Hobbies are to enjoy, to laugh, to learn something new, to practice mindfulness. A hobby can be a long-term project, because some of them generate such a level of fun that you want to keep learning, perfecting. Diving, golf, cooking workshops, gardening, surfing, you name it.
- The romanticism of a getaway … alone
Many couples who manage to get a long weekend for themselves, without children, are reunited with passion, sexual relations, time, the conversations of when they were dating. A weekend without hearing “mom …” all day is a weekend to dedicate that attention that we dedicate to our children or our elders, to the couple.
When we are parents we prioritize the time and needs of our children. Many parents also want to do everything with their children, but if we do not respect the time and privacy of the couple, the couple is transformed. And without realizing it, instead of calling your partner “love” you are calling her “mom”. There are couples who refer to them as mom or dad. Yes, it may seem cute, but it is not passionate.
Every couple has a forward-walking dynamic. Sometimes it manages to flow and other times it stumbles along. If in those potholes we do not introduce a lever that changes the course of what we are experiencing, the normal thing is to distance yourself from the person you love. Distancing yourself is very dangerous, but you never know when one of you has crossed the point of no return.
