Finding a healthy balance between work and family life has never been easy , especially for women . But when both members of the couple are professionals or have their businesses or jobs, things get extremely complicated and we usually lose us, women, who tend to postpone our careers.
In fact, if you do an Internet search on this topic, most of the articles point to how a woman can achieve that balance between family and work.
And when those articles are aimed at men in general they focus on how to free up more work time to share with the family, which is naturally good, but more as a visitor than an active member of a team.
In this blog you have also previously discussed some tips to achieve a balance between professional and family life but more focused on time management.
So today I want to share some ideas based on an article by Amy Jen Su that I read in Harvard Business Review and that focuses on the interrelationship between both members of the couple, which is much more effective and fair.
Amy is a consultant and coaching dedicated to the topic of career development.
The concrete thing is that currently there are more and more married couples or couples with double careers, with or without children. In fact, in the US, the Bureau of Labor Statistics has published a study conducted in 2018 that indicates that 50% of households have double incomes and that 63% also have children.
But with or without children, the advantages of a double-income household – including greater financial stability and an opportunity for both members of the couple to pursue their careers – are significant .
However, couples who have a dual career face a unique set of challenges and trade-offs. As an executive coach, Amy notes that it is increasingly common for these clients to seek advice not only about work, but also about home.
When both you and your partner have busy and demanding careers, we wonder how you can reap the benefits of being a dual income couple and do your best as a person, at work and at home?
Negotiating which career ranks high at any given time, juggling work schedules and home and family duties, and maintaining healthy boundaries between home life and work life are often the most difficult areas to do. surf.
Although every home is different, the couples I have seen overcome these challenges have developed systems that optimize their time and energy as a unit . Let’s see then.
Table of Contents [ Hide ]
- 15 Successful Practices Double Income Couples Practice to Balance Their Family and Work
- 1Think of your family as a team
- 2Learn to say “No” without feeling guilty
- 3Play to the strengths and interests of others
- 4Schedule regular meetings to “look ahead”
- 5Create “Work Time Zones” and “Family Zones”
- 2Conclusions
5 Successful Practices Double Income Couples Practice to Balance Their Family and Work
Here are some of the most successful actions these couples have put into practice.
Think of your family as a team
When you have a demanding career, it can be easy to get so involved in work that family time is lost on your priority list. To overcome that problem, you need to give your family or partner the same level of dedication that you give your team at work.
Naming your home team – or your family – is a fun way to change the way you think. Doing so can help remind you and your partner that it should never be “my race against yours.” Rather, they should see themselves as allies. A couple I worked with chose the name “Team González” for the family’s last name. Another couple chose the acronym GBG, which stands for “Go Bernandez Go.”
These names helped them see themselves more fully as partners facing day-to-day challenges, just as they do with their colleagues at work. The Gonzalez team began planning the house schedule as a unit – taking into account the demands of the race, the children’s activities, and family outings.
In doing so, they were able to reduce the hard feelings that often arise when dual career couples don’t work together or develop at the expense of the other.
Learn to say “No” without feeling guilty
As your career and that of your partner advance, they are likely to gain more influence and receive an increasing number of requests beyond their daily job responsibilities. Such as being invited to attend dinners with clients, join meetings, speak at events, or even become a mentor. These activities are often rewarding, but they take time and energy.
To maintain a healthy work-life equation, you need to be able to decline an invitation without feeling guilty. But knowing when to decline an application is not always easy.
A professional I worked with provides a good example. She felt compelled to join her son’s school board because she wanted to be involved in supporting his education, and many of her colleagues had done the same with their children. But the more we explored the subject, the more it became apparent that assuming this role was more of a “should” than a “wish.” Ultimately, it would tip the balance of what was already a difficult situation at home.
My client considered the added value of his options. You could spend your time outside of work with the parents and teachers on the board, or you could use it to spend quality time with your child. She and her spouse chose the second option. By having an honest conversation about what was important to them, they were able to work according to their schedules and be with their son in a way that worked best for the whole family.
To find the work-life equation that supports your best self, you will need to do the same.
Carefully consider the added value of each application you receive , asking yourself the following questions:
- Is it something I can add value to in a unique way?
- Will I receive value by attending or joining?
- What would be the impact on my spouse and my home team?
The reality is, you can’t do everything – and neither can your partner. That is why every application you accept must have significant added value.
Play to the strengths and interests of others
With both members of the couple working, keeping abreast of home and family responsibilities is an ongoing struggle. Most of the time, you have to be strategic and disciplined about who does what, especially as roles at work and in the family grow.
Dividing responsibilities according to one’s strengths and interests can be a lifesaver. A couple who consulted me were in constant conflict due to the stress of juggling household chores.
To ease the tension, I asked them to make a list of their responsibilities, from unloading the dishwasher to handling bills to taking their children to and from extracurricular activities. Then I asked them to categorize each item on the list as “hateful,” “doesn’t matter,” or “enjoy.”
The couple were then able to reassign items based on each person’s strengths and interest levels, dramatically lowering tension and maximizing their ability to be effective and present. If you find that some items on your own list are important but very annoying to both you and your partner, outsourcing can be a tremendously useful option.
Schedule regular “look ahead” meetings
Inevitably, there will be times when you and your partner will have to negotiate expectations and make decisions about each other’s career. For this, these couples must be in constant communication. A simple solution is to schedule regular meetings to plan and set expectations.
These meetings are times for open and honest communication that will help both of you stay actively involved in big decisions about career changes, projects, or goals.
Below are some time frames to follow. Use the ones that work best for you and your partner:
- Annually:Once a year, look ahead and mark the holidays, school performances, conferences, and other big events that you know are coming up.
- Quarterly / Monthly:Once a month, plan upcoming trips, deadlines, or busy work periods.
- Weekly:Once a week, discuss your plan for the following days to minimize surprises and frustrations.
One of my clients found that a weekly foresight meeting was critical to keeping him and his spouse coordinated. Every Sunday morning at breakfast, they pull out their laptops for a quick scan of the week: who’s doing what and who’s going where.
This helps them stay in sync and share important updates , and it has become a long-awaited form of quality time.
In addition to keeping you and your partner “on the same page,” anticipatory glances are good times to ask for mutual support. If you have a critical presentation and need more time to prepare, or if your partner anticipates an especially busy week, a look ahead allows you to plan and prepare.
When the unexpected arises, as it inevitably will, you will already know what is at stake for each one. As a result, you can more easily pivot and support your spouse at a critical time.
Create “Work Time Zones” and “Family Zones”
Maintaining clear boundaries between work and home can be especially difficult for couples who have dual careers. Many of my clients feel guilty about what’s going on at home while at work, and they fight the urge to pick up their laptops and complete a work assignment while at home. One way to break this cycle is to create “work time zones” and “home zones.”
Time zones are blocks of productive work time. They can also be used to indicate when partners will argue about work, rather than letting the topic creep into each conversation.
For example, a professional I trained added the following time zones to both spouses’ Saturday hours:
- From 9 AM to 10 AM: Have breakfast together, be fully present
- 10 AM to noon: A colleague catches up on work (Time Zone # 1)
- 1:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m.: The other partner catches up at work (Time Zone # 2)
- 3 PM: Time to be with friends or family for the rest of the day.
Home zones, on the other hand, are the physical spaces in your home – like an office or study – used to do a little extra work. The designation of certain spaces for work serves as a powerful boundary between work life and family life, and helps to reinforce expectations: When a couple is in the area of residence, their time and availability are protected, and vice versa.
Conclusions
It is worth remembering that work and home are not in opposition – they are different aspects of life that constantly inform and influence each other.
To be successful as a couple with two careers in a way that allows both partners to develop as well as possible, it is necessary to regularly examine the work system . By keeping it intentional and up-to-date, you’ll increase the likelihood of taking advantage of the many opportunities that situation can bring.
