Why do we listen little and talk a lot? 7 steps to improve your Active Listening.
Over time someone with a desire to evolve, favors their development, knowledge and growth. It will not be by luck but by the effort made that I can rejoice that this has been the case in my case.
A few days ago I spoke with a former high school colleague. I commented to him that I did not like my university studies at all but that I got my Diploma. My effort in those years did not focus on the university but on working.
It was one of the best decisions of my parents to force me to pay for my own studies after the 1st year of college. They had done it with all the children, and that scared me. I had to finish my degree but for that I had to work. I did it and with effort. As a painter, waiter, warehouse worker… until I finished my last year working in 3 different places during the week and getting the notes of my colleagues at night parties.
Sometimes when I remember it I value it. I worked long hours and when I finished I still had to spend an hour and a half to get home, so I would study a little on the train. I did not like it. And I studied the minimum to pass, and I did, I listened to myself and saw that it was something I needed but it was not my future. That’s why I tried so hard because when there is something you want to achieve, you try hard whether you like it or not.
I am going to adopt a new habit and it is that of active listening . For 21 days I’m going to focus on listening . If my evolution was partly due to listening to my heart and understanding that although I needed to study I had to find my own way, I must continue working to evolve. It will be very good for me to start my active listening tomorrow, as I am starting a coaching course. But why is listening important ?
Well, because the art of hearing is more difficult than speaking. The easy thing does not lie in effort or growth, but in that comfort zone that does not allow us to evolve as it leaves us in a comfortable situation. Because one of my main problems is that when they speak to me I think that listening is waiting for the other person to finish saying something to be able to give an answer. I am working on my response when they speak to me without understanding that perhaps what they are telling me is important.
Every day, anyone you talk to will need you to listen to them. We do not usually worry about the feelings and thoughts of our interlocutor, sometimes your silence will only be necessary to make a person happy. I start this habit to encourage active listening, because I am going to try to see what is happening without prejudice or evaluations, in this way I will be naturally concentrated to discover what is the need of my interlocutor.
And finally, 7 steps to improve Active Listening :
- Maintain eye contact with your interlocutor.
- Orient the body towards whoever is speaking to you.
- Focus your attention on the topic at hand. Beware of distractions.
- Focus on the other.
- Put aside prejudices and opinions.
- Refrain from evaluations until your interlocutor finishes.
- Pay attention to their body language.