In this article, we will explore various tips and techniques on how to find new friends and create lasting connections.
Making friends was easy when you were a kid. You played tag for fifteen minutes and you were already best friends and sharing your deepest secrets. As an adult, things get more complicated. Old friends move to different cities and countries. And there’s no time to make new acquaintances and it’s often awkward. Let’s figure out how to find friends and learn how to maintain close relationships.
Friendship, from a psychological point of view, is a stable relationship built on mutual sympathy. The main features of friendship are: closeness, care, respect, trust, common values, interests and hobbies. It is believed that having even one good friend makes a person more satisfied with life. And some data say that the more reliable friends a person has, the happier he or she is. Friendship has a positive effect on mental health and helps to form an adequate perception of oneself. Unfortunately, problems with friendships can become risk factors for mental problems and even suicidal behavior .
Friendship improves physical health
Research shows that people who have friends maintain strong immunity, recover faster and live longer. American scientists have found that stable friendships reduce the risk of diabetes, heart disease and stroke, and also reduce the likelihood of premature death by half. People with a wide social circle tolerate pain better because their body produces more endorphin, a pain-relieving hormone.
Friendship helps to lead a healthy lifestyle
It’s easier to introduce new habits when you’re surrounded by people who share the same values. For example, if your friends eat healthy, don’t abuse alcohol, and regularly go to the gym, it’s likely that you’ll find it easier to follow a similar lifestyle. There are studies that confirm that losing weight is more effective with a friend who also wants to lose weight. You’ll encourage each other, keep each other from falling off the wagon, and are more likely to reach your goal together than alone.
Friendship supports in stressful situations
In 2011, scientists Ryan Adams, Jonathan Bruce Santo and William Bukowski found that support from friends helps to cope with difficult life situations. If a loved one is nearby, the body produces less of the stress hormone cortisol. And loneliness, in turn, becomes an independent stress and contributes to the emergence of depression.
How to find new friends
Make a list of potential friends
Perhaps there are people among your acquaintances with whom you would like to get to know better. This could be a colleague, a neighbor, or a young mother with whom you occasionally cross paths on the playground.
Take some time to write down the people you know that you would like to befriend. Then think about how to take the initiative. Invite a colleague to lunch, strike up a small conversation with the mother you like.
Sign up for group classes
People often bond over common interests . The key is to find a place where like-minded people congregate. If you like to exercise, sign up for a yoga studio or dance class. If you like to read, look for a book club. Take a cooking class, a pottery studio, or an art workshop.
In communication, start small: exchange a few phrases, discuss the results of a new lesson, ask for advice. If you feel that you like your new acquaintance, suggest continuing the conversation after classes. For example, have a cup of coffee at the nearest cafe.
Ask your friends to introduce you to their acquaintances
If you are a bit shy and not ready to be the first to meet people, ask people around you to help and introduce you to their friends and colleagues. For example, go to a cafe, a movie together, or just take a walk. Don’t be afraid to honestly admit how you feel more comfortable meeting people: chatting in a small circle or getting lost in a large group and taking a closer look at new acquaintances.
Try to accept invitations
Initiative can come not only from you, but also from those around you. Therefore, it is important to notice it in time. If you are invited to communicate offline, try to agree. Non-urgent matters can be postponed for a while. You will rest, recharge with pleasant emotions and, perhaps, find new friends. And then, with double energy, you will get down to business.
If you cannot find time for a meeting, explain the reason for the refusal, offer an alternative and find a compromise with your new acquaintance. This will show that you are also interested in communication.
Start small
Of course, not every casual acquaintance will develop into a strong friendship. But the more you communicate with different people, the more likely you are to meet a kindred spirit and find a friend. Research shows that people value even short, positive social contacts. A small talk with a colleague, a few words with a neighbor while walking the dogs, a joke or two with the cashier – the more of these situations happen during the week, the happier you feel.