How to Discuss Awkward Issues with Your Boss

Learn how to effectively discuss awkward issues with your boss in a professional manner. Tips and strategies for maintaining a positive work environment.

You can lose interest even in your favorite job if you are not satisfied with the working conditions. To help yourself and your career, you need to learn how to discuss difficult topics with your manager. We found out how to talk to your boss about overtime, promotions, or time off.

Recycling

Enthusiasm at work is great, but the phrase “Colleagues, we work until the last minute” should alert you. If you feel that delays or working on weekends have become routine, you need to change the situation. We asked a psychologist to tell us how overtime affects our psychological state and why it is important to defend your boundaries in the workplace.

Stress is the body’s attempt to adapt to extreme conditions. In the office, these include frequent overtime, the “should have done it yesterday” mode, and multitasking. Lawyers will call such moments a violation of working conditions, and psychologists will call them a violation of boundaries. Women are more likely to defend their boundaries in terms of routine and personality, and men – in terms of territory. Therefore, it can be assumed that women suffer more from overtime.

Stress from constant overwork develops in stages:

  1. Increased anxiety. This is a reaction to stress. We use the maximum of our resources to adapt to the situation. In small doses, this helps to cope with the problem, but constant anxiety begins to negatively affect our condition.
  2. Resistance stage. The body increases its resistance to stress, the person almost does not experience anxiety. Its ability to adapt to irritants increases. But if the source of stress continues to affect the person, the next stage begins.
  3. Exhaustion stage. Long-term exposure to the stimulus leads to the body’s resources being exhausted, anxiety returns, and this has a negative effect on health.

You don’t need to remain silent and endure in the hope that the manager will figure it out himself. It is important to talk to the management as soon as you feel that your strength is leaving you.

Focus on the employment contract. Agree on a conversation and calmly explain to the manager why you are not satisfied with the volume or pace of work. If the employment contract specifies working hours, refer to it and ask to adhere to the schedule, distribute tasks during this time.

Find a compromise. If the schedule was agreed upon verbally, discuss a solution that will suit everyone. For example, ask to send tasks during the week, no later than a certain time. Also discuss delegating responsibilities – perhaps you are doing someone else’s work or you need an assistant.

Of course, there are exceptions – for example, working in SMM involves regular posting and responding to messages. In this case, limit the number of tasks that you are ready to do outside of the schedule. For example, responding to comments on the weekend is ok, creating a content plan is not ok.

If your boss is unwilling to make concessions, consider whether the job is worth the loss of your personal life.

We adapt to unfavorable conditions because of anxiety and a sense of vulnerability. There are several ways to combat this:

– work with self-esteem and know your strengths;

– learn to give arguments in favor of your opinion;

– be able to distinguish between “one’s own” and “someone else’s”.

Ask yourself questions: “Is this really about me and my capabilities? Or is this someone else’s responsibility that they want to shift onto me? Or is someone trying to achieve their goals by using me?”

Promotion

Don’t ignore your desire to develop – prolonged “stagnation” at work can lead to burnout. If you understand that you are doing your job well and are ready to take on more responsibilities, talk to your management about it. Asking for a raise is normal practice, because the boss does not always know that you want more.

Prepare for the conversation in advance. Gather arguments that will support your request: what have you learned so far, what skills have benefited the company, why it is important for you to stay here, and what other areas are interesting. Don’t be shy — perceive the conversation as a beta version of an interview.

Listen to what the employer has to offer. They may approve a promotion or connect you to new tasks – horizontal development is also development. If they refuse a promotion, ask for a justification. Perhaps you lack just a couple of skills to take on a new position. Then you will know what you need to work on.

Don’t be shy about reminding them about yourself. If they tell you that they’ll offer you a new position later or that you need to think about it, ask when you can return to this conversation. It may not be possible to change the situation right away. But management will know that you’re ready to take on more responsibility.

Salary increase

Talking to your boss about money is hard. “Do I really deserve it?”, “Will my boss think I’m greedy?”, “Or am I mercenary?” Thoughts about a salary increase are a real test for healthy egoism and impostor syndrome.

If you started working under one set of conditions and then wanted more, that’s absolutely normal. The employer evaluates the existing experience and skills. Accordingly, when you work in a company for more than a year, improve and show excellent results, you start to “cost” more as a professional.

Justify the reason for the pay increase. Focus on the pool of responsibilities, the quality of the work performed, and the benefit you bring to the company. Not “I want a higher salary because I’m cool”, but “I want a higher salary because I take on more and more tasks / my work brings in profit / I’ve really improved my skills”.

If you are refused, find out the reason and try to negotiate. Ask what will help the employer change his mind. Perhaps he cannot raise your salary right now, but will do so in the future. Or the boss is ready to increase the amount only if you take on additional tasks and responsibilities.

Leave for family reasons

If you need to care for a sick relative or attend a children’s party, there are several options for how to do this without affecting your work.

Unpaid leave. According to the Labor Code, you can take a five-day leave at your own expense, but this only works in specific cases: the birth of a child, registration of a relationship at the Civil Registry Office, and the death of a close relative.

Time off. You can take a day off at your own expense, for overtime, or as part of a future vacation. You can also make up the missed day on the weekend. However, permission to take time off for reasons not listed above remains at the discretion of the employer.

Be accommodating. If you know in advance that you need to take a day off, say so up front. Your manager may ask you to complete the required amount of work before the day off or find a replacement. If you have a trusting relationship, a verbal agreement without losing pay or vacation days may be enough. Be honest about the reasons for the day off and express a willingness to make up the work if necessary.

Dismissal

Talking to your boss about leaving your job can be difficult and awkward, but it’s a normal part of any career journey. Our needs and the company’s demands aren’t always in sync, and it’s not a good idea to stick with a job that’s no longer delivering what you need.

Don’t hide your decision. If you are leaving, notify your manager about it. You will give him the opportunity to offer new conditions or prepare for your departure. If you feel that your decision will be treated with understanding, you can inform about it immediately. If there are concerns that conflicts and pressure will begin, tell him immediately before writing the application, but no later than two weeks.

Discuss the details. Formulate answers to two questions in advance: “Why are you leaving the company?” and “Can the company keep you?” Calmly explain your decision and tell how you will help “survive” your dismissal. For example, prepare a transfer of affairs, close current projects or recommend a person. If you see that the boss is upset, angry or indignant, give him time to accept the news. Offer to discuss the transfer of affairs and working off later, when he is ready.

Ask your manager for recommendations. If he is willing to provide them, it means he considers you a good employee and accepts your decision to move on.

Prepare all your affairs. Move important documents to network folders, pass on all information on your projects and tasks to your manager and employees. Write detailed instructions on your work. Clarify all the details and life hacks that you used so that the new person can easily and effectively integrate into the company’s tasks.

Work for two weeks. If possible, don’t ask management to let you go early. 14 days is the time the company has to prepare for your departure, and this is how you show respect.

Leave your contact details. At first, questions may arise that only you know the answers to. Tell your colleagues how to contact you and on what issues.

Sometimes it happens that the management manipulates employees after they have reported their resignation. They offer to work another week or ask to stay late to get everything done. By law, you cannot be kept in the company for more than two weeks from the date of writing the resignation letter. And during this period, you work according to the standard schedule.

To avoid such a situation, say how you plan to work the last two weeks and what you manage to close during this period. If you feel that you are being abused, then return to this conversation in a gentle manner and remind them of the original agreements.