Beware, this is not about criticism. On the other hand, if the criticism is constructive, it can help someone not to make the mistake you are pointing out. It is important that the one pointing is motivated by helping the listener.
Those who use derogatory names, insult, are rude and do not give arguments are the ones who should be severely criticized but again with the intention of helping them.
In addition to real life, people on the Internet also treat each other badly. When they are seen face to face, the gadaria is a little softened, but they are still present among many of us. What interests me is, why is that so?
Why are people not good to each other, which makes them rude, ugly words and insults? We all need compassion, understanding, we all need to be understood and respected. So how is it possible that many of us do the opposite?
The roots of rudeness
If you look around you will see that everyone is competing with each other. This is because people learn to compete with others from an early age. Competing with a brother, sister, with students in the class, colleagues and finally with a partner or friend.
Competition is a big part of everyday life. In fact, a good portion of society is structured so that everyone competes with each other. Take the example of an economic system in which the fear of poverty is artificially created, people compete with each other so that they can make a living from their work.
Born in such circumstances, we used to compete thinking it was the only way. In fact, some never even wonder if it could be otherwise. They don’t have time for that because they have to compete from situation to situation, every day, all day.
We believe that competition is good and that those who compete better live better. But what does that mean?
Everything good in life depends on defeating the other. If others are better than us, our quality of life will decline. No wonder we don’t wish others well. No wonder we look forward to having someone go wrong.
It is not at all strange that we are selfish and think only and only how to please ourselves.
In fact, we are so afraid of others that we build walls around ourselves to make sure of ourselves. Finally, it happens so we are left with ourselves.
This is evident in the way people communicate.
There is no warmth, intimacy, compassion, no love.
Coldness, distance and reticence permeate most everyday contacts. So separated from others we forget about humanity.
Unkindness is rooted in the psychology of modern life, reinforced by the laws of the socioeconomic system.
Unkindness is all around us and only a few see the frightening effect it produces on an individual and social level.
Consequences of rudeness
Because of this way of life, many of us suffer and suffer. If you look at the people around you, you will see that they do not enjoy life. They want to leave their lives behind and be somewhere else and do something else, all over again, not knowing how to achieve it.
What brings people satisfaction in life?
The answer is: interpersonal relationships imbued with kindness and respect. Regardless of the amount of income or the absence of income, being empty-hearted and lonely is not living. It’s a mere survival in which the rich find themselves a little more comfortable but are equally empty if not worse.
But how to be kind to others if we are constantly competing? If we see the world outside of us, instead of experiencing it as part of ourselves, if we fear it and shy away from it and would like to be elsewhere, we cannot develop such relationships.
All religious directions alongside spiritual teachers, throughout all time, teach us the importance of developing compassion and kindness. Be kind, don’t judge, look at the people around you and respect them. In short, do to others what they would like us to do.
For the vast majority of people, this seems incredibly difficult. No matter how much we have developed the above, in the world of kindness we are very quickly moving to the “other side”.
So how then to remain kind and good in an unkind and bad world?
So far, our view of the world is marked by separation – I am here, you are there, they are here, we are there… Separated from each other we still become alienated, unaware of the fact that this separation is only an illusion and that we are actually more connected to each other much more than you would ever think.
There is a deep connection between people and more importantly, we need each other to survive. If people around you are well, and you are not at that moment, there is a high probability that they will pull you to “good”.
The moment we realize how important people are in our lives, our hearts will be filled with kindness and we will spread it wherever we are.
Creating a circle of kindness
I am aware that no one will wake up one morning and start spreading love around us, but I firmly believe that each of us is capable of being kinder to others, at least a little kinder.
Kindness can spread like a virus without us noticing. It can spread like wildfire from heart to heart. Kindness heals, calms, brings pleasure to anyone who gets in her way.
When we are kind we plant the seed of love. Of course there is a time it takes for the roots to take root but once that happens it will bloom in the most beautiful way possible. Big smiles, gentle hugs and nice words are just some of the fruits that will grow on the roots of kindness.