It is not easy for everyone to accept that friends change over time, even though it is a very natural thing. It can make you feel sad and nostalgic. This is also completely normal. Friends come and go, but true friendships last for years. However, sometimes friends we felt were “for life” also leave, or friends change, and it can be difficult for us to accept this.
One reason is simply life events. For example, a change of city or job, new obligations and responsibilities, a loss of connection due to time and distance, time itself, or other important changes in either your life or your friend’s life . Perhaps you have grown and matured differently than your friend. How should you approach such a situation?
“What a great treasure a friend is! He searches your heart to know your needs, sparing no effort even to tell you what he himself finds out.”
-Jean de La Fontaine-
Friendship and change
Your friends and relationships don’t always work out the way you’d like. That’s why you may have to accept that your friends have changed. This can be painful and frustrating. On the other hand, accepting these changes as part of life opens the door to new friendships, opportunities, and experiences . So how do you accept this situation?
Is that really news?
If you look back on the situation and with a little bit of distance, you’ll probably notice that the loss of friendship happened gradually over the years. It didn’t happen all at once. It was progressive. Maybe you didn’t see each other as much and talked to each other less and less. Maybe you no longer live in the same area.
These are the little things that cool down a relationship. You may have only just realized that everything has changed, but it has evolved over time. When you understand the reasons, you realize that it has been a natural process of life.
No one is to blame: don’t feel anger or guilt.
Remember that in this situation there is no one to blame and no one is good or bad. It’s just life. If you feel guilt, try to understand it. Where does it come from? Is there anything you can do to change the situation? Replace guilt (passive) with responsibility (active).
If you’re angry, do the same. Try to figure out where it’s coming from. Is it really anger or sadness? How can you channel it in a healthy way?
Be grateful for your experiences.
When you experience loss, in this case the loss of a friendship , you may feel like everything has been for nothing.
However, nothing could be further from the truth. Remembering the past with joy and gratitude will help you with this, saving the things that served you and what you learned. Of course, you should not force anything you do not feel, but wait until you are ready. Gratitude is key to acceptance.
Forget your pride and contact him.
On the other hand, remember that you need to take care of your friendships. In fact, it’s not always the case that “all is lost.” By this, we mean that if you feel like it, you can reconnect with those friends you’ve distanced yourself from.
Call, send a WhatsApp message. Be honest. You may have been hurt by certain situations or estrangement. You may be disappointed in your friend. Open your heart and remove the pride from there . What do you feel? Still pride, or perhaps love for your friend?
“Two people can’t be friends for long if they can’t forgive each other for small failings.”
-Jean de la Bruyère-
Go through the grieving process
When friendships change or are “lost” and cannot be restored, you face the grieving process. It is a loss, a radical (or not so radical) change in your reality. Therefore, you need to be aware that you are sad. Don’t resist it.
It’s not easy to learn to live with your new reality and say goodbye to a friend who has been so important to you. But it’s necessary to heal and reconnect with your current life, the only one that exists right now.
Accept that friends change.
Accepting this situation can be a real challenge. But remember, it’s not necessarily about giving up, it’s about seeing what you can do to change the situation. Some friendships have changed and some have disappeared. It’s all part of life.
On the other hand, there are some that you can get back if you give yourself the chance to open your heart and reconnect with your friend. It is important that you are honest with yourself and reflect on the situation. Let go of the past and learn to accept and embrace the present . Take care of your friendships that may have suffered over the years but that you want to continue in your life.