Many relationships start well and start to prosper, but suddenly they stagnate and even begin to deteriorate, ending in divorce and painful separations . What happened to that beautiful, healthy relationship?
You would be surprised to learn that many good things, including great relationships, have been lost due to bad habits and the carelessness of good ones. Oh really!
A bad habit, a bad habit can, in time, fracture the strongest of loves and discourage the most passionate . The worst of all is that, being already married, the couple does not separate for various reasons, but falls into a spiral of deterioration and exhaustion, injures each other, and supports life as a couple, when they could just enjoy it.
When it comes to these levels of dissatisfaction and damage, we can already speak of a toxic relationship that harms all those close to us.
Whether to avoid reaching these levels or to leave a relationship that is becoming toxic, I invite you to examine these simple recommendations that invite you to modify small habits that will turn serious behaviors into positive ones and allow you to simply live better now and with those you live with. with you. Are you excited?
4 simple actions
Basically, habit is something we do repeatedly, which requires the least amount of thought, which we learn and do so many times, that we lose track of what we are doing.
Good habits are formidable, but bad ones are so subtle that, without realizing it, they can cost us what we love most: our friends, our children and even our partner.
If people develop bad habits alone, it is logical to think that when they are married, the two will also develop bad habits together. Detecting and recognizing them in time can be the difference between maintaining a relationship or losing everything.
I share four of the most common and destructive of current relationships:
During courtship or the first years of marriage, the couple talk for a long time and talk about everything, feel good together and comfort each other.
But time and carelessness start to form bad habits, they stop talking about their feelings, each one does his own thing, each one has his own friends and goes out with them, and they gradually distance themselves. And when they realize, they are two strangers who share a room, but who do not know each other because they stopped talking a long time ago.
Putting others before the relationship
For example, parents, children, friends, pets, including hobbies, the internet and anything else that steals the time and attention they could devote to their spouse.
A few generations ago, the couple went to bed and spent time together. When the television entered the room, it was said that this “intruder” affected the relationship, and it was recommended that he be turned off to solve the problem. And today, the Internet, along with mobile devices, have simply separated the couple in every way.
Make sure that the bad habit of playing online or checking the networks takes precedence over your partner. Develop a good habit of being alone and calm for a moment, and saying good night and good morning.
Stop doing things together
The habit of having a project in common is very good and necessary, as one more reason that keeps the couple together, but sometimes it is neglected, first out of necessity and then out of practicality, until ending with each one having their own personal projects, including of life, and it was all over, even the marital relationship.
Never allow yourself to develop any bad habit in which you can be very happy with little effort.
Forget affectionate displays
Saying good morning, kissing or hugging when you leave and return home are things that can be easily lost if we are not aware. Children should see their parents showing affection, being friendly and considerate of each other and with them. We must strive to reinforce and cultivate healthy habits.
A good future relationship for your children will largely depend on the habits you develop with them today , because in a few years they will become beautiful family traditions.
Reading a story before bed, chatting at the table, kissing or hugging before going to bed and waking up, sitting together at church, calling every day, having lunch together on Sundays or birthdays, going out on a couple alone on Fridays and dozens of things like that strengthen interpersonal relationships and will be reasons to overcome the challenges that life presents.
A habit is developed and consolidated if it is done daily for at least a month
What habit would you like to leave? Which would you like to develop with your partner?
Think of just one or two and then work on them , try a little and don’t get discouraged if you fail; if someone laughs or makes fun of your attempts, it is working, it is changing the conscience of the other. So it can be boring at first, but don’t get discouraged, persist! Soon the other person will begin to see that you are improving, changing and that you are no longer a part or an excuse to fight or continue as you were before. Then, the other person must make a decision: change to improve or be left alone behind.
What would you choose?
Be patient with yourself and others, no change is easy, and for some, our weaknesses are the pretexts they need to justify theirs; if you change and become stronger, the other person has no excuse to remain the same. This moment is complex and difficult, but it passes. And you know what? It is the beginning of a better life for everyone.
Talk, resume the good things that made you love each other and develop good habits. And this time, never lose them again!