Why do we care so much about the lives of others? It is really strange that our curiosity to want to know what is happening to the other, to know how things are going. But the worst thing is not curiosity at all, because it could be synonymous with concern, of someone who really cares. The worst thing is that this curiosity is often linked only to finding out about a subject that does not belong to us and that, after we know it, we do nothing but pass it on to other people: we call it gossip.
There are people who waste a lot of time in their lives trying to discover details of the lives of others and then simply pass on that information. Many think that gossip is just passing on false or distorted information about others. However, this is a big mistake, since gossip also occurs in cases where the person discloses true information from a third person, but without their prior consent. Speaking truth or lies about matters that belong to other people, without their permission is always gossip.
That gossip only creates problems, we all know. It brings embarrassment, personal problems, affects work, hinders social life and can even lead the victim to a state of depression and social isolation. There are countless problems arising from gossip, but the question is: what to do when the subject of gossip is you? What to do when you become a victim of slander? What action to take when they are talking unfairly about you?
A delicate situation like this deserves care in decision making, so that the problems do not become even greater. So, check out some paths you can choose to follow if you are being the subject of gossip spread:
- Read also: Psychologist explains the dangers of speaking ill of others’ lives
Do not mind the opinion of others:
One of the first things you should do if they have made up a lie about you or even spread information about you without your approval is not to care about other people’s opinions.
Of course, we have to appreciate our name, our reputation, but the opinion of others does not change the person we truly are.
Follow your convictions, making sure who you really are. Don’t let malicious comments or fabricated lies about you cause your heart to be disturbed and, consequently, affect your way of being, acting and even the way you see your own life.
Be sure of your truth, not being guided by the comments of others and not wasting time trying to prove anything to anyone, because everything in time will stabilize.
Don’t be intimidated:
In some cases it is no use just ignoring the opinion of others, since the gossip may have been so impactful and harmful in your life, that it may even seriously affect your personal life, at work or your love life, perhaps even denigrating your reputation. So, if you are sure where the gossip came from, who propagated it, it is worth having a direct conversation with that person.
Do not be intimidated and seek satisfaction, looking for the reasons why she dared to act in this way and declare the truth about the fact. However, never do this with a hot head, nervous or alone. Ideally, you should be accompanied by a witness and your dialogue should be as calm and prudent as possible.
Do not be arrogant, imposing fear, or exalting yourself, but go confidently, knowing your worth, showing the truth clearly and succinctly and revealing that you are disappointed with the other person’s shameful attitude.
By acting wisely and humbly, you make the gossip person ashamed of his actions and make him rethink about talking again about the lives of others.
- Read also: Happy people don’t speak ill of others
Follow your life in peace:
Now it’s no use to get depressed, try to change the city, work, school or get out of focus where the gossip came from. Understand that gossip is an evil that, unfortunately, exists everywhere and affects every type of person, regardless of race, religion, sex or social class. There is no use running away, the secret is knowing how to deal with this type of situation: either isolate yourself and surrender to sadness or raise your head and face the problem head on.
Follow your life in peace and believing that the truth will surely come.
Yes, if deemed necessary, don’t be afraid to go to court. There are gossips that are able to denigrate a person’s image, causing serious damage to the victim’s life. In such cases, it may be necessary to bring the case to justice, suing the person who invented or spread the gossip for moral damages, slander or defamation.
Look for a lawyer, explain your situation and he will guide you in how the law can support you in face of this problem.
- Forgive! I know it is not easy, but there is no point in isolating yourself, becoming antisocial and disbelieving in people. Go on with your life without holding any hurts within yourself or wishing for the evil of others. Good begets good. So choose to keep your heart open to forgive and not make room for hatred, as it will only hurt you.
- Avoid comments from your personal life. In order to avoid gossip about yourself, try to talk as little as possible about your personal life. Be nice to people, talk, be helpful, but when it comes to personal life, speak as little as you can. The less they know about your intimacy, the better.
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- Of value to true friendships. In life we meet several people and make many friends. But true friends, the ones we take for a lifetime and who, even at a distance, seem so close to us, these friends are few. Value them, don’t lose the bond and cultivate that friendship. When it comes to pain, outburst or asking for advice, turn to these friends and not those you barely know or know you can’t trust, because they live talking about the lives of others. Since others are talked about for you, it is because one day it will speak of you for others.
- Allow time for time. Time will take care of showing everyone who you truly are. It is no use trying to prove that what has been said about you is not true. Just look for the people most affected by the spread of gossip, explain yourself and clarify the truth to them. But if the rumor has spread in a big way and a lot of people are aware of the matter, it is useless to wear yourself out to affirm your version. In time, people will know the truth, they will actually realize who you are and who was with the truth.
- Also read: Being silly watching the lives of others on Facebook is bad, says study
- To avoid new gossip, be it about yourself or about third parties, it is worth remembering that we never gain anything by talking about others, by spreading a negative comment or spreading someone else’s problem. We do not collaborate to improve the situation of our neighbors and we also do not add anything of value to our lives. If we can’t help, we better keep quiet. After all, the secret of good coexistence is each one taking care of their own life, reaching out to others only if it is to help and exercise the habit of listening more and talking less, since as the saying says “listening is silver, talking it’s gold ”.