It is something common. A woman complains about the relationship, knows that the other person is harming her life, and yet continues to give herself totally to her partner. Although they manage to end this relationship, they end up being attracted by the wrong men who undermine their self-esteem and destroy their self-confidence. If this is happening to you, know that it is time to end this vicious circle. In today’s article I will show you how to get your trust back once and for all, with simple actions. Come on?
In today’s text we will cover the following topics:
- The wrong choice
- Reasons to stay in a wrong relationship
- How to get your confidence back
- Don’t be discouraged
The wrong choice
One of our most essential needs as human beings is to love and be loved. However, the truth is that many people repeatedly choose the wrong person and end up feeling unhappy in their relationship. For some, it is easy to walk away from a relationship when it is not working, but for others it is much more difficult. Some people stay in relationships and are aware of their unhappiness, but they don’t know how to get out of the situation.
Reasons to stay in a wrong relationship
Two themes that always come up in conversations with my followers are: “Why do I keep choosing the wrong partner?” And “Why do I insist on relationships that make me unhappy?” These questions can only be answered when we are harshly self-critical. There are multiple factors that motivate how we choose our partners and why we stay in dead-end relationships – some of these reasons are conscious, while others are unconscious.
I will talk about some of the factors that can lead us to unhappy relationships and what keeps us in them. Once we find some answers, we put ourselves in a better position to make conscious choices and change our negative patterns. Here are the most common reasons for continuing in a relationship:
Loneliness is a state of mind. Being single does not mean being alone. Loneliness happens in rooms full of people with the same ease and frequency as when we are alone. You may be in an unhappy relationship so you don’t feel lonely, but that won’t stop you from feeling lonely, even with someone by your side.
The fear of being alone is simply the fear of being alive. We are not born together. We can survive without the other. Fear is something that we create. Being alone scares us because we are not used to it. It scares us because we think we’ll never find anyone again. Because we prefer to settle for our unhappiness instead of risking a change to look for something better.
Saying “I invested a lot of time in this relationship” is not a valid excuse. Time was not wasted. Each month, year or decade that we spend in a relationship that doesn’t work is simply a learning experience.
Every moment that passes becomes part of your past and you shouldn’t be ashamed of having a past full of ex-boyfriends. Show that you can give your life a new chance without being afraid to walk away from a relationship when it is no longer working for you.
When you end a relationship, you feel a multitude of emotions that can be mistaken for regret because you are not used to feeling that way. You are not used to sleeping alone or not having someone to text you during the day. These are only temporary adjustments. Give yourself time, you will get used to it.
This is not regret, it is the fear of what we do not know; fear of not depending on someone after so long.
It is true that sometimes things can change, but it is not common. If you have been unhappy for a long time, don’t be fooled by the hope that one day things will change. If you discover that you are simply two incompatible people, the problem is not something that you can possibly improve on. It will only increase the grudge over time.
How to get your confidence back
Trust is essential for survival. However, a toxic relationship can get you off balance and destroy your self-confidence. If you’re down, check out these tips on how to get your confidence back and be unwavering in your next relationships:
Find your comfort zone
Everyone has a comfort zone, be it food, music, art, a favorite book, movie, TV show, a specific geographic location or group of people. Whatever makes you feel comfortable, enter the zone. You are not there to hide from your problems or to dwell on them. You are there to reload. Just as your muscles and mind need time to recharge, so does your mood. Stay in your comfort zone to regain your calm.
Change your thoughts
Whenever you doubt yourself, face those thoughts with ways to overcome them. This is one of the most effective tips on how to get your confidence back. Remember that most of your problems are in your head. This is not to say that they do not exist – just that you are allowing them to affect you. Stand for others and for yourself; you will learn ways to face them.
Show firmness and smile
Even if you are not entirely sure of yourself, you will exude a security that encourages people to view you as a confident person. The media portrays Special Forces soldiers as killing machines, but one of the most used weapons is a friendly smile. Diplomacy is strong, so put a smile on your face and make the world a better place.
Face your fears
Everyone has a list of fears and phobias, although many don’t want to admit it. I am afraid of snakes, spiders, height, loss of control, drowning, darkness, other people … These are natural fears that everyone has at one level or another – it is a fear of death and the unknown. Try to face at least one of them, you will be much more confident.
Define your character
You are a reflection of your choice. Your past decisions and future aspirations determine how your current choices are viewed, but you are your choice. Learn how to define yourself. Define your rules and limits, your beliefs and your values and follow them.
Live in the present
Learn to appreciate everything around you. By practicing gratitude, you will change your perspective. Instead of being upset about losing an important customer or missing a test, you’ll be grateful for the air you breathe, the water you drink, the food you eat and the people you love. Focus on the now because it’s all you really have.
Talk to friends and family – they are usually happy to help you regain confidence. If, by any chance, they help to diminish your self-confidence, expand your social circle. Go to public places and interact with strangers, you can spend fun times and meet interesting people.
Toxic relationships rarely allow any time for self-love or appreciation. This can deplete your self-esteem and leave you feeling less than enough. This is the time to rediscover and remember how remarkable you are. Be your own cheerleader. Challenge yourself, give yourself the opportunity to recognize your strengths.
Don’t be discouraged on the walk about getting your confidence back
We know that regaining confidence once and for all is not so easy and there is a long way to go to reach that goal. However, it is not an impossible task. You saw that the tips on how to get your confidence back can be put into practice. Anyone can achieve this goal, just focus on the things that really matter. Don’t let a bad relationship define your future, don’t let a worthless person destroy your self-esteem . Remember: you are wonderful and deserve all that life has to offer!