20 Fun Ways to Answer Spam Calls

But sometimes conversations with scammers turn out to be very funny. The editors of theDay.ru found examples of funny responses to scammers that users shared online.

• “I answer in a languid voice: ‘Darling, why didn’t you call for so long?’”
• “I replied that I had no time, I needed to perform a feat, then save the world, and in the evening I would declare war on England. No emotions. I suggested that we declare war on England together. I thought about it. I thought for about five seconds. Then I started saying that it was better to live in peace.”
• “I replied, quite sincerely and without sarcasm, that I was very glad that they finally called me again. For some reason, they hung up.”
• “I usually introduce myself as Olimpiada Samsonovna, but I ask you to call me simply Lipochka. After that, they hang up.”
• “And I pretended that I couldn’t hear well. I said, ‘Girl, speak louder.’ She started speaking louder. I said, ‘Why are you whispering?’ In the end, they hung up on me themselves.”
• “A friend got a call from the ‘bank security service’ when she was riding the bus. She said, ‘Guys, you should come up with something more creative!’ Answer: ‘And recommend something.’
• “I answer that I have no opportunity to make a translation, I am in prison. And then his voice changed: “What, is it true or something?” He hung up. Five minutes later he calls back. He asks if I told the truth and maybe he needs some help.
• Once I got a call from the ‘bank security service’. There was office noise in the background, as if everyone was working. But you couldn’t hear their voices at all. So I said, ‘Make the office quieter, otherwise we can’t hear you!’ They hung up right away.”
• “Scammers: ‘State your entire card number and wait for an SMS.’ Me: ‘9876543210123…’ The scammers interrupt: ‘Too many numbers.’ Me: ‘I can continue if you want.’ They hung up.”
• “Recently I’ve reached the point where they ask me to give a three-digit code, then I tell them that I have a new-style card and it has letters instead of numbers. They ask me to give them, and I dictate obscene words. They immediately hang up.”
• Someone once called me and introduced himself as a junior employee of the bank’s security service. I was offended and said: ‘Why junior? I want to talk to the most senior, and even better – to Gref.’
• “When they say: ‘Did you send them?’, I answer menacingly: ‘She sent you to hell.’ Once she sent a curse 12 generations ahead. I was taken aback.”
• “A young man with a lisp has been calling me for a year now. The first time I had a fight with him, I called him a rooster. Now, when he calls, he recognizes my voice and then asks: “Is this my hen?”
• “They called when I was sleeping. I answered in a sleepy voice that I had made a transfer to some guy in some city. To which he replied: “How did you make the transfer if you were sleeping, my sunshine?” And I was like: “I’m just sleepwalking and transferring money.” He hung up right away.”
• “They call me by my first name and patronymic. I say: ‘No, call me My Lady,’ and for some reason they hang up right away.”

The goal of all spam calls is your money: if you say that you are an insolvent bankrupt, the operator will definitely hang up faster. If you are told that you have won a free holiday in Thailand, say that you have recently received a court order to stop you from leaving the country or are awaiting trial.