In many families, a ‘cold war’ can be seen between the wife and mother-in-law. Not because of any particular reason, but because of a small incident, the relationship becomes bitter day after day. But just as the mother-in-law loves her children, so does the wife love her parents. Then why the form changes when you come to the father-in-law’s house!
In 2019, Kolkata director Pritha Chakraborty made a film called ‘Mukherjee Dar Boo’ about the snake-neule relationship between mother-in-law and mother-in-law. There he showed several things.
The girl who loves to eat fish belly came to her father-in-law’s house and sat down to eat another part of the fish on the first day. In front of his eyes, the belt was moved to another plate. Or the daily occurrences of buying another TV for the mother-in-law to teach her mother-in-law. The husband has diabetes, so the wife keeps him away from sweets. And the mother tries to give two teaspoons more sugar than the son. They both deal with their confidence as they choose to embark on their play activities. In the end, however, Mukherjee corrects his own mistakes and becomes a good friend of the wife’s mother-in-law.
It is important for both of them to control themselves before a negative situation arisesPhoto: Prothom Alo
But in reality, there are examples of correcting mistakes in other families. A lot of the time in the world of this reshareshira jhatakale breakage. The boy may be separated from his wife. Some families leave their mother and come to the old age home. There are also cases of separation between husband and wife due to these trivial matters. So it is important for both of them to control themselves before such a situation occurs. Here are some suggestions on how to look or get an appointment for antique items.
Sit with yourself
At the beginning you choose a place where no one will bother you. Then sit down and take note of what is happening to your mother-in-law on a regular basis. If even a small incident leaves a mark on your mind, write it down. Check the written material to see if everything that happened to you is logical. If you have any faults in any incident, keep that in mind.
Also consider the position of the mother-in-law
Explain to the mother-in-law what she expects from the mother-in-law and take care of the mother-in-law herself.Photo: Prothom Alo
You may not get what you expect from your mother-in-law. What you expect from him, he is doing the opposite. In such a situation, pay special attention to your mother-in-law’s side. Consider the situation in the society or family he was in. The point of view of the two can be two. So don’t make him ridiculously trivial. Rather give him time to understand the situation.
If the mother-in-law is in your family, then she can understand many things. Again, if you live in your father-in-law’s house, things may not work out as you grow up. In this situation, the mother-in-law has to understand the side of the wife to avoid conflict. You can explain some things to him.
Think of yourself in the situation of mother-in-law
If for some reason you have a bad relationship with your mother-in-law, re-evaluate the matter once. Imagine for a second you were transposed into the karmic driven world of Earl. Many a time in the family or a distant relative as a third party to make the ears heavy in the fabricated story. Try to understand the subject. After all, if you think you are right, then explain to your mother-in-law what you have done wrong.
Put yourself in the position of mother-in-law and think, in any situation she is misbehavingPhoto: Prothom Alo
We often resort to more lies to hide a lie. Something like that can happen to the wife-mother-in-law. So it is important to think carefully.
Do not desire
Any desire or expectation leads people to suffering. So do not have any ambition to the mother-in-law. Instead of pushing yourself to the point of suffering, keep in mind the idea of being good to everyone.
It would not be right to confuse mother-in-law with motherPhoto: Prothom Alo
It would not be right to confuse mother-in-law with your mother. Your mother has known you since birth. So you have created a ‘comfort zone’ there. Maybe your mother can tell you a lot by looking into your eyes. Which is a very difficult task for the mother-in-law. So get rid of the thought of ‘this is what my mother used to do’. Instead, be happy with what he is doing for you.
Think for yourself
Decide for yourself how you will live your life. If you think it’s okay, then you shouldn’t even think about whether your mother-in-law has approval or not. There is nothing like handing over one’s will to get the applause of the in-laws.
Avoid public relationsPhoto: Prothom Alo
Avoid public relations
Many times mother-in-law behaves one way in the house, differently in front of people. If he behaves in such a showy manner, then protest directly. Accepting these issues will make the relationship worse.