When disappointment arrives in the relationship

Feeling in love is the most wonderful phase of love, it is when you feel butterflies in your stomach at every meeting with your boyfriend, when you don’t spend a second without thinking about him, when you  think you don’t need anything else besides being by your side. Over the years and living together, it is normal for the overflowing passion you felt to decrease in intensity, as you will be about to experience the next stage, known as true love.

This is where the loved one is really known, his defects, bad habits, manias and his true way of being are discovered; therefore, it  is normal to be easily disappointed with him , because when someone falls madly in love, it is almost impossible to realize that the person is not perfect.

Disillusionment is considered an obstacle to marital happiness, because sometimes it can be so great and devastating that it reaches the point of wanting to leave everything behind and, consequently, thinking about separation or divorce, because changing the partner is an impossible fight to be won.

How much can your partner let you down?

Perhaps you think your partner has turned into someone else, very different from the one you fell in love with, a real stranger. Over time, he stopped doing those little things that strengthened the relationship, started making bad decisions that put his financial and emotional stability at risk, is not as passionate as he was at the beginning of the relationship, boring, moody and worst of all, he didn’t learn to listen to her. You may even  think that you don’t love him anymore.

You can believe that your life no longer has a path, a meaning, simply because you do not find any more motivation. Apparently, your happiness has dissipated like the wind, and you have no choice but to let it go.

However, you should know that, even if there is a solid and successful relationship, it is inevitable that you will end up disappointed at some point in the relationship, as it has been  proven  that being  disappointed with your partner is a process that everyone, sooner or later , we ended up experimenting.

So, it is when you know this information that the questions arrive: what did others do to save the marriage? What was special about these couples?

  1. Did not expect more from the partner

Many successful marriages did not have very high expectations or desires for their spouse. That is, they  did not idealize  the loved one, which is why, despite having gone through the process of disappointment, they moved on. These couples did not expect to receive anything in return, they just concentrated on giving everything, trying to meet their partner’s needs.

When you expect your partner to recognize you for your effort or value everything you do, you will be completely disappointed; consequently, you will feel pain, frustration and hatred; for a deep wound will grow in your heart. The ideal is to never expect to receive anything from your partner; so that when that happens, it’s a gesture or attitude that you value.

  1. We all think differently

Perhaps you may think that you are right in everything or that there is an undoubted logic in acting. Even in the most obvious situations, you can believe that your partner has reacted with some judgment. However,  you can fall into total disappointment  when he doesn’t do things the way you thought. This is because we all think differently and we have different ways of reacting to different contexts and situations.

For example: Ana complained about her husband because one day she was admitted to the hospital and he never had time to go to see her; his disappointment was so great that he was unable to forgive him. Finally, the man explained that his fear of seeing her in the hospital left him completely paralyzed. At this point, the ideal is to avoid guesswork and communicate assertively with your loved one.

  1. Blind confidence

I agree that infidelity, lies or disappointments can disappoint, this is normal. However, successful couples bet on safe, reliable and committed love. That is, when you are in love, you fully trust your partner and, over the years, that trust must be worked with actions and facts to make it more solid and strong.

Trust is the foundation of the relationship ; therefore, it is a task that must be performed constantly, in a mutual way. If you are disappointed and think that your partner has betrayed you, it is best to talk about it in order to reach an agreement and thus avoid failures or misunderstandings.

  1. Communication is essential

It is one thing to speak and speak expecting an answer, and quite another to listen and act. Couples  are often disappointed because they have not learned to listen , understand and empathize. Perhaps couples tend to justify themselves because men and women think differently, that is, men are more practical and do not need detailed explanations of things like us.

Successful couples learned to communicate , expressing emotions, ideas and feelings without fear. For this reason, it is difficult to be disappointed, as they communicate in an assertive and loving way.

It is important to reflect and understand the root of disappointment, as a solution can often be found together, thus avoiding thoughts like divorce or separation. Remember that we are all flawed, but with love, trust, communication and commitment, a relationship can last for many years, regardless of how disappointed or disappointed they are.

Fight for your happiness and dare to express your emotions, it will never be too late to regain confidence in your relationship!

 

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