Bullying is a phenomenon that everyone can face, especially in certain work environments. How to defend yourself? Here are 5 tips.
According to research in this regard, there is no category of people significantly more at risk of being bullied : everyone can encounter this phenomenon as victims or spectators of it.
However, there is a difference regarding the workplace : especially horizontal mobbing (perpetrated also or exclusively by peers) seems more frequent in public work environments (school, health, public administration) and in the banking sector .
Very often, those who take a stand against decisions and / or habits strongly rooted in the working context and try to report non-compliance would pay the price. In the private sector, on the other hand, a particular variant of bullying – the so-called Bossing – carried out by superiors against collaborators or employees seems more frequent (Ege, 1998).
How to defend yourself? Let’s see 5 suggestions for reacting and not being overwhelmed by the phenomenon which, it seems good to remember, does not concern the ability of the individual worker, but a systemic dysfunctionality of the organization of the working context.
- Defending yourself from bullying: prevent
Bullying is a sneaky process that takes place gradually in an apparently invisible way and gradually transforms an already (perhaps implicitly) competitive and conflictual work environment into a strongly persecutory one .
Bullying does not always take the form of explicit aggressive actions towards the victim such as threats, abuses and personal attacks (usually carried out in the absence of direct witnesses), but often also of a gradual demotion , isolation and impoverishment of the commitment of the worker who he finds himself silently sidelined while (apparently) everyone continues to deny the existence of any problem.
In both cases the person may find himself completely unprepared and unable to respond effectively to the first signs of abuse. This is because bullying is in itself unmotivated, at least in terms of work skills: the victim does not initially find reasons that explain the attacks he is the object of and this uncertainty contributes to confusion and perhaps leads him to underestimate the first signs.
It can be an aggressive or inappropriate comment that you have not been able to respond to (and on which your mind continues to struggle), an exclusion from a work project for which no explanations have been received or a “Mistake” , apparently involuntary, committed by a colleague or an administrative … Knowing how to respond with assertiveness , refusing verbal attacks and always having the right to receive information and explanations is the first step to prevent these situations from degenerating into mobbing phenomena .
Whenever, on the other hand, you remain silent , because you have the feeling that “it is not the case” to insist, because you are afraid of being inadequate or out of place or because you are subjected to embarrassment and frustration you risk creating fertile ground for a chronicization of the problem .
- Defending yourself from mobbing: don’t isolate yourself
The victim of mobbing is in most cases the recipient of paradoxical messages : the facts in themselves self-evident are systematically denied in words, accusing the victim of declaring falsehood.
It is the type of communication observed both in pathological families (those in which the discomfort is expressed by the schizophrenia of one of their members), and in those relationships of abuse and psychological manipulation such as gaslighting where the victim’s perceptions are disconfirmed making them believe they are crazy or unable to correctly evaluate reality.
Even in the reality of mobbing something similar often happens, the most striking example is the case of job demotion: no one admits it and no one explicitly explains the reason , everyone – colleagues and superiors – behaves as if nothing had happened, they make excuses of circumstance and minimize the grievances of the victim who can easily come to believe that he is the direct cause of what is happening and doubt his own job skills.
To stem this desperate phenomenon it is important not to isolate oneself , but to immediately seek allies, among colleagues, friends and family , with whom to share the actual reality of what is happening and from whom to feel legitimized and supported.
- Defending yourself from bullying: ask for professional help
There are several branches and antimobbing centers in Italy created specifically to provide information, support and guidance to all those who are victims of bullying in the workplace, to those who fear becoming one and to those who in various ways witness this phenomenon.
These realities offer legal, psychiatric and psychological consultancy – some even free of charge – and provide guidance on any paths to take to combat the phenomenon in one’s own workplace.
It is not necessary to be sure that you are undergoing mobbing to contact a professional: it is sufficient to have the suspicion that this is happening, acting promptly is essential to prevent the problem from worsening or becoming chronic because in this case both psychophysical health will be at risk. of the worker that his workplace.
Turning to a professional is also important for a second aspect: avoiding burdening exclusively on your family and generating additional stress within your private relationships which must not be depleted but, on the contrary, must remain a lifeblood for all dimensions of life. of the person.
- Defending yourself from bullying: keeping interests in other areas of life
The work is a very important area of a person’s life, both in economic terms and identity. However, it is not and must not be the only one, especially in conditions of suspected or confirmed mobbing .
The persecutory experience of which the person feels victim in the workplace risks becoming invasive for his mind and recalling all his emotional and cognitive energies both during working hours and outside.
Although this is understandable, since a situation of danger is experienced in conditions of extreme uncertainty, it must be managed correctly because otherwise the risk is that the anxious-depressive state resulting from bullying will gradually erode not only the work area, but also the other dimensions of the person’s existence .
It is especially now that it is essential to cultivate rewarding alternative spaces to work (a hobby, a sporting activity, a second job, etc.) in which to engage the mind on something else.
- Defend yourself from mobbing: clear yourself
The victim of mobbing can experience experiences of strong impotence , to counter this the human mind spasmodically searches for causes / explanations that can make a confused and uncertain situation intelligible and reasonable.
And they do not find sufficient and plausible explanations from the outside – since the harassment of which he is subject is not motivated by those who carry them out – the person subjected to bullying can gradually be led to blame himself for what happens.
This risks triggering a vicious circle that feeds a sense of inadequacy and incompetence, making the person even more vulnerable to being bullied. The causes of bullying must be recognized within the work environment because, net of the contribution of a few individuals, they are grafted onto a pre-existing organizational , hierarchical and cultural context that makes them possible.
