We all want to feel part of something, be it a family, a group of friends or a work team. To achieve this desire, we do everything to fit in, to be valued and respected. But what happens when you need to change the way you be, behave or think, thinking that others will accept you better? Are you not giving too much importance to the opinion of the other? After all, is it more important than yours? Here’s how to know if you’re falling into this trap and how to get out of it.
In today’s text we will cover the following topics:
- What’s wrong with following the other’s opinion?
- How the opinion of the other affects
- What people think of you can’t affect you
- Don’t live to please others
- Some tips
- Your opinion is the most important
What’s wrong with following the other’s opinion?
Let’s speak the truth. We all want to be accepted, wanted and loved. This is completely normal. There is nothing wrong with listening to the opinion of a person who is important in our lives, be it a boyfriend, friend, neighbor or co-worker. The problem arises when you are so focused on pleasing others that you end up compromising your health and happiness in the process.
It becomes a serious problem if you feel that the approval of others is the oxygen you need to breathe.
How does another’s opinion affect someone?
Some people even feel bad about being criticized by others. They avoid certain situations because of feelings of insecurity and fear, give up their own desires in order to please others. They renounce their own individuality in order to be appreciated or loved by a group.
What people think of you can’t affect you
Put it in your head that their opinion of you shouldn’t be important to your life or affect you. If people have a good opinion of you, great, and if not, it’s a shame. They do not pay your bills, they are not responsible for your health or your family, so they should not be of such importance to you.
Don’t live to please others
We must always listen to other people’s opinions, however, only we can give the power to be definitive or not for our lives. It cannot guide our actions, so if we live around the opinions of others, sooner or later we will end up frustrated.
When you live around the desire to please others, you end up exhausted in trying to be what everyone expects. The most important thing is to try to be yourself, to be heard, understood and respected.
1. Don’t try to know what others think of you
Believe me: ignoring what people think of you will make you much happier. However, on many occasions, the way people perceive you may have more to do with them than with yourself. They may like you or not just because you remember someone from the past and it has nothing to do with you.
2. Accept that someone else’s opinion is not your problem
If a person forms an opinion about you based on superficialities, it is up to him, not you, to change these points of view based on objective and rational facts.
In a nutshell: other people’s opinions of you are their problem, not yours. The less you worry about what they think of you, the less complicated your life will become.
3. See the benefit of being unique
If you are thinking like everyone else, you are not thinking. And if you are not thinking, you are not really living. It is human nature to try to imitate other human beings we admire (perhaps a father figure or a celebrity), especially when we feel insecure in our own skin. But trying to be someone always leaves a sense of inner emptiness. Why? Because what we like about the people we admire is their individuality, the qualities that make them unique. So the more relaxed you are with your differences, the more comfortable you start to feel just being you. Celebrate being different, unusual and even a little on the weird side. This can make you feel special and improve your self-esteem.
4. Take advantage of criticism
There are criticisms that are constructive and can serve to help us improve. Others are harmful, without any purpose. You need to learn to differentiate and take advantage of them to improve your life.
Even damaging criticism can contain the seed of success if you analyze it and use it to your advantage. If they are not useful, discard them without penalty.
5. Get away from some people
Stay away from people who can only criticize. One thing is constructive criticism, which helps to grow and improve (even if it hurts a little), another thing is criticism that only serves to point out the defects. Stay away from such people and surround yourself with those who will support and encourage you. This does not mean that they will always have to prove you right, but at least they support you. You don’t have to stop talking to some people, just keep a distance.
Your opinion is the most important
Listening to other people’s opinions can be very useful, but never forget to pass through the filter of your own reason, your desires and hopes. Keep in mind that they will always criticize you for something, as it is impossible for you to please everyone. In the end, the only opinion that matters is yours, after all, only you know what is good or not for your life.