Many women look for a love to fill their lives, someone to make them feel complete.
They are firmly convinced that after finding that “someone special”, their life will always be happy. Unfortunately, this thinking is common among females.
We place our happiness in the hands of a person, when the key to being happy is in ourselves. Before loving someone you need to love yourself.
There is no other way for you to live fully. By cultivating self-love, you will change your life! Want to know how? Then see these tips!
In today’s text we will talk about:
- The wrong understanding of life
- What is self love?
- What happens when you are not cultivating self-love?
- 7 beautiful things that happen when you’re cultivating self-love
- Cultivating self-love
- Tips for developing self-love
The wrong understanding of life
“They made us believe that each of us is half an orange, and that life only makes sense when we find the other half. They did not tell us that we were born whole, that no one in our life deserves to carry the responsibility of completing what we lack: we grow through ourselves. If we are in good company, it is only faster. ”
This excerpt from Martha Medeiros’ chronicle “Sacanagem” is a reflection of our reality.
Movies, music, make us believe that we need to find someone, get married and live happily, loving and being loved. There is a lot of emphasis in our culture on romantic love. Many people think that finding the right partner will somehow make them “complete”, fill an internal void and solve all their problems. However, in this equation, nobody tells us that one must always be cultivating self-love to be happy.
What is self love?
Self-love is not just feeling good or having time for yourself.
It is a state of appreciation for itself that grows from actions that support its physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love allows you to accept your weaknesses along with your strengths and have compassion for yourself as you strive to find meaning and personal fulfillment.
It is a state of self-appreciation that grows out of attitudes that support one’s physical and psychological health and stimulate our spiritual growth.
Self-respect makes you a better person and a better partner.
When you love yourself, you believe that you are a worthy person.
And when you feel worthy, you begin to believe that you are worthy of love and respect, not just for yourself, but for everyone else. And when you earn the respect of your partner and others around you, they start to like you more and take you more seriously.
What happens when you are cultivating self-love?
In a relationship, for example, when you have no self-love, you begin to lose your self-respect. And over time, your perfect relationship can turn into a one-sided love story. Here are 5 situations that can arise due to lack of self-love:
- You lose your voice in the relationship – Decisions start to be made without your approval or notice.
- You become a puppet – You are gently manipulated by your partner because you really believe you have nothing of value to add to the relationship.
- You are not taken seriously by the people who are important to you – You may end up being just an object or an accessory because your opinions offer no value or objections.
- Love turns into gratitude – Instead of experiencing a balanced relationship with equal love, you really start to believe that your partner is worthy of a person much better than you.
- Love begins to fall apart – Your partner will start to believe that he deserves someone better because you are not good enough for him. And you, on the other hand, would feel suffocated and confused. And even if you express an opinion, it can only irritate or upset your partner because he doesn’t think you deserve to be heard.
7 beautiful things that happen when you are cultivating self-love:
1. You discover your value
When you fall in love with yourself before you fall in love with another person, you discover your worth.
You learn who you are and what you deserve. You learn that you are someone to be valued and you begin to appreciate yourself, instead of blaming for every little flaw.
Instead of concentrating all your time and energy on another person and their happiness, you learn what you need and seek these things freely.
2. You become comfortable and confident
You smile at your reflection in the mirror. You put on clothes that make you feel good. You laugh. You fall in love with who you are and because you chose to have self-love, you become more confident and comfortable being yourself.
3. You are genuinely happy and create your own positivity
When you have self-love, you do things that add value to your life.
You chase and go after what makes you happy. You treat each other with respect and care. Choosing to love yourself before entering a relationship means that you have sought happiness within your own being.
You know that only you are in control of your mood – so you choose to create your own happiness every day. You become a positive woman.
4. You let go of negative baggage and past relationships.
Choosing to love yourself first means letting go of everything that is pulling you down.
It means forgiving yourself or others for the way they treat you. It means letting go of what didn’t work out, or any disgust still lingering in your chest.
When you love yourself first, you stop holding on to painful parts of your past and make room for good relationships and positive emotions.
5. You are not afraid to go after what you want
Loving yourself first means that you start chasing after the things you believe.
And because you have become a priority, you are not afraid to ask for what you want and deserve. You know you have value and are comfortable making it apparent, especially in your romantic relationships.
6. You feel whole alone
You don’t need a relationship to feel satisfied or complete. In fact, when you are cultivating self-love, you know that you are already alone. You have focused your attention on your needs, wants and interests. You value who you are and instead of desperately looking for love, you let it happen when the time is right.
7. You have a genuine desire for life
You learn to love the life you live.
You love going for a walk or watching the sunset. You love watching your favorite TV show or spending a night on the town with your friends. You love yourself, so naturally, you have a desire for life.
Life, for you, is not all about finding love or being in a relationship. And because you have become a priority, you understand that and lead a richer and healthier life.
Self-love should not be defined in the brightest moments, when you look incredible. It is not found when you do your makeup and hair or when you take a million selfies with your friends just to feel beautiful.
Self-love is found when you wake up in the morning with bags under your eyes after studying all night, but still smile when you look in the mirror. That’s when your hair is in a messy bun and you’ve been wearing sweatpants all day, but you don’t feel the need to wear anything else.
It’s all about balance. Loving each other both ways, good and bad. Most importantly, we have to look beyond all physical aspects and love ourselves for who we really are. Our hopes and dreams and what our souls truly crave.
We have to live the life we want, for ourselves. No one else.
Tips for developing self-love
1. Make a list of your achievements
We all have a to-do list filled with all the things we need to do. How about creating a list of all the things you’ve done? Everyone should keep an updated list of their achievements. This has several benefits, including the following:
- It will remind you of how much you have achieved;
- It will help you to feel pride and admiration for yourself;
- Feeling good about yourself will certainly help you to love yourself more.
2. Develop positive habits
I have developed many positive habits over the years. Here are some of them:
- I meditate;
- I spend with my family;
- I try to eat better;
- I do exercises.
How can I not love myself when I take such good care of myself? Love yourself more by developing positive habits.
3. Learn to empathize and cheer for yourself
Our inner voice can be a critical and demanding teacher. We speak to ourselves using harsh words that we would never dream of targeting other people.
Start treating yourself as if you were a friend or loved one. Be kind to yourself, especially when you are suffering from fear, anxiety or pain. Give yourself encouragement and celebrate your best moments.
4. Be authentic
We cause pain and suffering when we stifle our true nature and ignore our desires and dreams to conform to the status quo and meet the expectations of others.
You are an unprecedented and unique human being.
There will never be someone like you again, and you are here to give the world its own special blend of passions, interests and peculiarities. Allowing yourself to show the world your true self is one of the most powerful things you can do, and it can deeply enrich your relationship with yourself.
5. Practice gratitude for yourself and your body
Instead of focusing on what you perceive to be “wrong” with you, focus on all the amazing things you have to offer.
The energy flows where the attention goes, so the more you shift your perception towards your positive attributes, the more of them you will discover.
Treat your body like a temple. Love him, have fun with him, take care of him and feel appreciation for all the wonderful things he allows you to do, but don’t invest your self-esteem in his appearance. You are not a body, you have a body – you are a soul.
6. Don’t seek perfection
There is a common myth in our society that there is something “perfect” and we must all strive to achieve it.
The truth is that we are all human, flawed and prone to making mistakes as we navigate the world and learn and grow from our experiences.
You are not the only one who feels vulnerable, insecure and self-critical at times.
We are all fighting our own demons and trying to do our best. If you remember that you don’t have to be perfect, take the pressure off yourself and don’t feel so isolated and alone anymore.
Discover more 08 simple steps to develop your self love right now! click here
Remember: the most important relationship you should ever have is with yourself. Nothing should come before that. In a world that is always trying to tell us otherwise, you must realize that when you are cultivating self-love, you are starting to build a whole new world. It is a revolution that begins within you.
So what are you waiting for?
Of course, getting self-love is not easy overnight, but if building your self-esteem can give you a better life, isn’t it worth a try?